Through Fire and Storm
by femegade
Summary: Shepard's destiny unfolds before her. Making lasting friendships along the way, she is forced to face emotional conflicts as she tracks down her former lover and save the galaxy. FemShep/Saren A. FemShep/Nihlus K. FemShep/Garrus V.
1. Spectre

**No updates to story, just minor format change.  
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**This is my first story. How far I go with this will depend on feedback, so please let me know what you think. Thanks for reading!**

**Warning: This story contains mature language and strong sexual content.**

Shepard stepped into her apartment, carefully locking the door behind her. She turned from the door and paused, furrowing her brow. Something wasn't right. She quickly unholstered her gun, releasing the safety. As her eyes gradually adjusted to the darkness she noted that nothing appeared tampered or out of place. Gun ready she shifted further into the room, eyes scanning intently through the dim. She stole a quick moment to shake away the alcoholic haze, silently cursing herself for downing that last shot of questionable batarian liquor at Chora's Den. As she moved into the bedroom she noted that nothing stirred; she was alone. "Damn alcohol", she huffed. She flicked the safety back on and holstered her gun.

As she turned to leave the room she felt herself suddenly yanked back into a choke hold, her arms expertly pinned behind her back. Her assailant was much taller than she and she was able to glimpse a three fingered taloned hand. Turian. Male. The effects from the alcohol quickly dissipated and were replaced by survival training. Her foe was physically stronger but she was more flexible. As soon as she was able to work her arms free, she threw back her elbow into the turian's sensitive waist region. He growled in pain, loosening his grip around her throat for a split second; it was just enough. Shepard threw her hands up, slipping them between his arm and her neck. She was able to throw her arms out with enough force to release herself and slip out of his grip.

Ducking and rolling forward into the adjacent sitting room, she landed in a crouching position and peered up to face her assailant. He was gone. She instantly reached for her gun. _Not there! Shit! _She didn't know when he had relieved her of it but now he was far more armed than she. Unsheathing her boot knife she stood, creeping back towards the bedroom, her human eyes attempting to pierce the darkness. _Add it to the list of advantages this bastard has over me_, she thought bitterly.

Shepard ducked behind the wall, just to the left of the doorway. She could sense him on the opposite side of the wall, could feel his heat and hear the faint brush of plating against armor as his chest rose and fell. Adrenaline surging, she spun herself around the doorframe and leapt onto the turian's back. His reflexes were quick. Before she could press the knife to his throat, he gripped her shirt and tossed her onto the bed. Her back hit the squared headboard hard, knocking the air from her lungs. She heard the turian chuckle and her eyes flicked up to meet his. She felt a mix of rage and relief wash over her as she held the gaze of his cybernetic blue eyes.

"What the fuck!" she growled. "You're lucky I didn't leave you with a real grin spread across your throat. Stupid bastard."

Saren's mandibles flared in amusement as he gave her another calm chuckle. "I'm afraid you hadn't a chance."

"Right… well thanks for scaring the shit out of me anyway. So to what do I owe this pleasure?" After sheathing her knife securely back in her boot, she crossed her arms over her chest and arched an eyebrow at him expectantly.

"I had just recently returned to the Citadel to provide my report to the Council regarding my previous assignment," he said flatly. "I heard some interesting news upon my arrival."

"Oh? What news was this?" She swung her legs over the edge of the bed and began removing her black combat boots.

He allowed his eyes to linger on her a few moments before responding. She donned a tight black tank top that clung to her slender curves. His eyes paused at the smooth skin peaking out before her shirt and black and grey camouflage pants met. He could see the taut muscles in her arms flexing as she worked the laces of her boots and he barely repressed a growl of approval. Taking care not to remain silent for too long, lest she mistake him for being distracted, he stated, "I have been informed that you have been selected for Spectre evaluation."

She smirked, peering up at him through a fall of short blonde hair. "Indeed I have," she said, her tone matter-of-a-fact. "Do you oppose?"

"While I do not oppose of you, as an individual, I do however oppose to humanity's attempt to force themselves into power. Initiating a human into the Spectre rank will make humans one step closer to obtaining a seat in the Council. Of this I disapprove," he stated simply.

She wasn't quite sure how to respond to his discontent so she decided it best to turn this discussion around. After a few brief moments of silence she rose to her now bare feet and stalked towards him at the foot of the bed. Her lips quirked into a playful smile and her eyes held a predatory stare.

Saren's work as a Spectre enabled him to read human facial expressions but he never cared to hold this knowledge on a personal level, until meeting Verra Shepard. She was intriguing for a human. He had a genuine dislike for humans, especially after the First Contact War. They couldn't be trusted and they pushed too hard too fast. However, in many ways, this female was different. She interested him. She had a fierce demeanor, a love of the fight, and a sensual way of wielding a weapon... among other things. As his mind wandered he heard a low rumble escape from him.

Shepard slowly closed the gap between them as she heard his guttural growl, her pale green eyes still locked on his blazing blue enhanced cybernetics. "Hmm," she hummed. Moving her hands up over his armor plated chest she gave him a teasing half-smile. "So, Mr. Arterius, are you here to evaluate my skills?"

He straightened at her touch. "I already have... not bad for a human," he purred. "However, there is room for improvement." One thing he both loathed and admired about this woman was her ability to challenge his impeccable control. He wanted her, and she knew it. Everyone had their edge, and she persistently made it her goal to push him over his.

"Well... then how about some one-on-one training?" She leaned into him, her tongue darting out to lick at his mandible as her hands went to work at the straps of his armor.

This drove an approving growl from deep within him. "I believe your training is well overdue, especially if you desire to become a Spectre." He paused a moment, taking in her scent. "This may require an..._ intense_ session," he finished. She arched an eyebrow at this, letting his armor fall to the floor and immediately began tugging at the straps of his leg armor. He groaned in frustration and pain as he strained against his leg armor, his plates already having been shifted long ago. His mandibles twitched in relief as the obstructive armor fell to the floor to join its fellow. He reached a taloned hand to her collarbone, tracing lightly, and in one quick motion tore it down the middle of her shirt. His mandibles twitched in anticipation as her breasts sprung free from their restraints. He never before understood human males' infatuation with these mounds of flesh. As far as he was aware only humans and asari possessed these, and they have never interested him before. However he enjoyed her reaction when he touched them, and in that reaction he developed a keen interest. After slipping off his gloves he began moving his palms over her breasts, paying special attention to the small pink nubs. He felt her diminutive fingers brush up under his crest, lightly massaging the sensitive area there. In response, he nuzzled into her neck, letting his rough tongue explore her smooth skin.

Feeling his talons pressed against her hips, she lowered her hands and placed them over his, stopping him from tearing them through her pants. She liked this pair, and would like them to remain unscathed for a while. Over the few months she's known Saren, she has been forced to buy new clothes after each of his returns to the Citadel. After loosening her pants and letting them fall to the floor, he gripped her hips tightly pulling her forward, grinding himself against her. She could feel the swelling heat of him and the burning in her core in response. She lifted her mouth to his, slipping her soft pink tongue into his mouth. His rougher tongue brushed against hers, and they mingled in the wet heat. His talon tore through the last layer of thin fabric that draped her hips, and he heard her groan in anticipation. He didn't disconnect their mouths as he lowered her onto the bed, moving with her. She could feel his talons gently caressing down her body, his movements so precise. He handled her body like he did a weapon; with care and precision and rough when necessary. He settled himself between her long lean legs and positioned himself at her opening. Gripping his sensitive waist, she urged him forward. As he slid into her, her breath hitched. She could feel every ridge and bump as she adjusted to his length. He started slow at first, gently nipping at her neck and shoulder, drawing breathy moans from her.

Her tightened grip on his waste, the way her legs flexed around him, the music of her pants and moans; all were arousing his turian instincts. He never lost control, always remaining poised and clear-thinking, except in the presence of this human woman. He both hated and loved it. He had conditioned himself to never lose himself to emotion or desire, but with her he had sometimes allowed himself the luxury. It felt so good to lose himself within her. Her soft body was so flexible, so strong. He quickened his pace holding the side of her head in his palm. Two of his fingers laced through her sweat damp hair and his taloned thumb caressed her cheek, drawing a thin line of red. His other hand gripped her thigh firmly, his sharp claws piercing her soft human skin. He could hear her breath quicken and feel her body clench around him. He drove into her hard and fast, reveling in her sweet scent and erotic music. He felt her clamp down around his member as she reached her peak; heard her cry his name. It drove him over the edge and he growled low and guttural as he found his release inside her.

For a few moments they lay there, chests heaving. He leaned down to nuzzle the nape of her neck and she gave a contented hum in response. Sliding out of her, he rolled off to the side, feet hitting the floor in one quick movement. He allowed himself a quick moment to take in her satisfied image before reaching for his armor.

Stretching out before him, she peered out at her lover through her thick lashes. _Always on the move, _she thought. _Saren was no cuddler, but would it hurt him so to just relax? _Shepard thought to herself. She watched him intently as he gathered his armor, strapping it into place. His pale plates gleamed in the artificial light of the digital clock. She admired the variations in his body's textures; the way his plates shimmered faintly and the muscles that rippled and flexed under the leathery skin.

"Be sure you are prepared to depart the Citadel tomorrow," he said as he clasped the final straps of his armor. "You will be accompanying me on my next mission."

"Hmm." She smirked. "I'm sure the Council isn't aware of all the evaluating that will be involved, are they?" She rose off the bed and stalked up to him, tracing her fingers over his pale unmarked face after closing the distance.

He grasped her hand, removing it from his face and giving her a stern glare. While he enjoyed her touch, he wanted to convey his seriousness. "I will not allow this to interfere with the evaluation. You will be evaluated honestly and without bias."

She leaned in closer to him, brushing her lips against his mandible. "Doesn't mean we can't make the trip more enjoyable," she purred.

_Damn her_, he thought as he felt his plates shift again. He needed to leave before he threw her down and had his way with her again. In that case, he wouldn't make it out of her apartment before morning. There was still much to prepare. "I must take my leave. We will meet at the spaceport at 0600 Galactic Standard Time. Bring with you any gear required for survival." He was barely finished with his last statement as he turned and headed for the door. As he made his way to the Citadel spaceport he thought on his earlier meeting with the Turian Councilor.

* * *

><p><em>As the door to the Turian Councilor's office swished open, Saren stepped inside, treading up to the pristine desk to stand before the Councilor, keeping at a reasonable distance. "You requested for me, Councilor." It was more of a statement than a question. Saren could easily guess why Valern had requested a personal meeting. It was regarding Verra Shepard, the new candidate for Spectre status, and he knew it pertained to something Valern didn't want to discuss in the presence of the other Council members.<em>

_Valern nodded, acknowledging the Spectre before him. He rose to his feet and made his way around to the front of his desk, to stand before Saren. He cleared his throat briefly before beginning. "I speculate that you are aware of the ramifications of human initiation into Spectre status." He paused, though not expecting an answer. "If we accept a human into the Spectre ranks it will open up a clear path for them to pursue a seat on the Council. We cannot allow humans that much influence." Valern began to pace. "I suppose you know of this Alliance bitch," he spat._

_Saren repressed a disapproving growl at this insult, and nodded. "I do." Of course he knew of her. He had come to know her very well over the past few months. The first time he had met her had been at Chora's Den. He had often stopped there when docked at the Citadel. The seedy establishment was an exceptional source of news that would not otherwise be gathered in the Presidium. There he blended in easily, and his acute hearing allowed him to collect facts and hearsay from various conversations. One such conversation drew him in that day. He could see the C-Sec officer Chellick, flanked by two humans; a female and a male. The human male was obviously a thug, part of a gang that sold red sand and had a penchant for loathing aliens. The woman was perceptibly human military, donning a skin-tight armored suit and an impressive collection of weapons. He overheard the man spitting threats at the woman, which she coolly responded to by withdrawing her pistol and shooting him in the head. The denizens in closest proximity to them moved away, however all other reaction to this event was lacking, which was not astonishing for Chora's Den. A few approving words were exchanged between Chellick and the woman, the C-Sec officer ending the encounter with an, "I'll take care of it." As she turned from the C-Sec officer, she caught Saren's gaze, staring back at him with clear pale green eyes. The corner of her lips turned up in a half-grin as she shifted to one side, placing a hand on her hip. She held his blazing blue eyes for a moment before strutting up to his table. "Like what you saw, Spectre?" she quipped before inviting herself to take a seat. He didn't question her knowledge of him. This human informed enough. Nor did he turn down her invitation to her apartment after indulging herself in a few drinks. What was to be a one night stand had turned him into a repeat offender over the past few months. Yes, he knew of her. Knew her scent; the curves of her body; the feel of her hands as they caressed his very being…_

"_Saren Arterius, you know what needs to be done," Valern said, interrupting his thoughts. "Handle this in the same discrete manner as you had with the previous human candidate, David Anderson. These humans must learn their place," he spat as he returned to seat himself behind his desk._


	2. Revelations

She fought with a ferocity Saren had never before seen in a human, or any race for that matter. The smile that crossed her lips when she bested a foe was proof that she enjoyed the fight. Not only was she a survivor, which she clearly proved on Akuze, she was a destroyer. She easily took down every merc in her path, leaving death in her wake. Together, they moved in a dance of destruction, huffing out life as they propelled themselves across the warehouse. Stooping behind a large metal crate, they ceased their waltz, and Saren stole this moment to instruct her on their next strategy.

"I'll hold them off here. You will climb through the ducts, into the secure storage room, and set the bomb," he ordered loudly over the gunfire.

Shepard nodded in affirmation. So far the mission was going smoothly. The Council had caught wind that a significant amount of the red sand being marketed in the Citadel wards had come from this warehouse. Nearly two-thousand kilos of red sand were currently being stored in the secure storage room at the rear of the warehouse. Unfortunately Blue Suns mercs were coming in droves. She glanced at the observation room to her right, judging the distance and planning her sequential moves moment by precious moment. She turned her eyes back to Saren, drawing an inward breath.

"I'm going in, cover me," she ordered. His nod affirmed his readiness. Almost instantaneously he leapt from behind the crate, weaving his way to the leftmost side of the room and ringing off shots to draw the mercs' attentions. Shepard sprung from her cover, keeping low but moving with impressive speed. Dashing up the metal stairs, she slipped through the door that had been left ajar closing it behind her and oscillating the lock. Stepping further into the brightly lit room, she hoped that Saren was successfully holding the attention of the mercs. She reached above her head and shifted the grate above her head. In one fluid movement she used her arms to lift herself into a pull-up, raising her legs into a half back flip and gliding feet-first into the ceiling duct. She quickly replaced the grate and began crawling in the direction of the secure storeroom. The metal of the duct felt cool through her thin armored suit as she shifted forward. Moving swiftly, she listened to the muffled shouts and gunshots emanating from the large storage room where she had left Saren. A square of light could be seen ahead of her as it pierced through the grate from the room below. She could make out stifled voices permeating through the grate ahead. As she silently pulled herself forward to peer down into the dimly lit room. A group of human men, women, and children crowded in the small room. Families, from what it appeared. She gasped, coming to a cold realization. _They're keeping slaves here! _

Shifting back a few feet from the grate she initiated a comm link to Saren. "What is it?" she heard and impatient voice pierce through her earpiece. "Did you set the explosive?"

"Not yet," she responded in a hushed voice. "There are slaves here."

"That's unfortunate," he responded, his voice unemotional. "Continue on your way to the intended storeroom and set the detonation timer."

"What!" she exclaimed, her voice still reduced to a whisper. "We can't kill these people!" She felt her stomach twist into a tight knot. _I can't do this. I won't do this, _she chided herself.

"There is no choice," he replied. "We're out of time. Orbiting reinforcements will be here soon. Besides, our ship cannot fit many more people. If we release them, they will likely act savagely, attacking us to save themselves and steal our ship." He paused for a moment, waiting for her response. When none came he continued, "Leave them, and set the detonator. That is your order."

* * *

><p>Saren could hear the comm link click off. Before he could give any additional thought to Shepard's misguided compassion, a rather large explosion rocked the metal crate that acted as his cover. "Heavy artillery," he scoffed to himself. He knew this was the final wave of their defenses. Soon the reinforcements will enter the landing zone. They needed to escape the facility before this occurred.<p>

_Damnit Shepard, hurry! _He lined up the scope of his sniper and took the shot. The merc wielding the rocket launcher slumped to the side. Reloading his HMWSG Sniper, Saren quickly took out the two remaining mercs that had flanked the heavy artillery. He was about to initiate a comm link to Shepard when he heard it already being initialized.

"The timing is set, move out!" Her voice rang loud and clear through his headpiece.

"Where are you?" he demanded.

"I said move out!" she ordered more forcefully over the comm.

"I don't take orders from you, human," he berated in response.

"This is no time to argue," she reasoned.

"Fine. Meet me at the ship," he growled. "If you are not there by the time the reinforcements arrive I will be force to leave you behind."

"Understood," she stated before clicking off the comm.

Not risking any wasted time, Saren raced back through the warehouse's front entrance, pausing only a moment to peer into the hazy sky. He could make a small object far overhead. _Shuttle is here Shepard, _he thought before dashing off into the wooded area which lead to their ship's landing zone.

* * *

><p>Saren waited at the ship, pacing back and forth. He released an audible growl, considering the possible ramifications of leaving her behind in the warehouse. <em>What is wrong with me,<em> he wondered to himself irritably. _Why am I so concerned about her, a human? I am Saren Arterius, turian Spectre. Complete the mission at any cost! No matter what the cost… _He heard a chorus of explosions in the distance, interrupting his internal conflict. The warehouse had erupted, everything in its vicinity being incinerated. Everything... including… "No!" he growled and started off towards the inferno. He was going to tear her to shreds when he found her. She was going to regret making him feel this worry. This conflicted with his very being. He wanted to sink his talons into her; wanted to make her feel pain as he currently did. Through his furious haze he could barely hear the sound of another explosion near the facility; nearly pushed through the figure that came rushing out towards him. Without allowing himself to focus on the being before him he struck out with a feral roar, claws slashing through the air and striking flesh. Action before thought, this was not him.

"Saren!" He heard her voice ring through his ears, shaking him from his infuriated miasma. "Saren stop!" He lowered his eyes to her crouching figure. She was gripping her arm, blood seeping between her fingers. He allowed himself to focus on her eyes, surprised to see no fear within them; only a myriad of emotions he could not read.

"Shepard..." he started uneasily.

"Saren, I'm fine," she assured him as she rose to her feet and made her way towards the ship. "We need to go, _now_" she urged.

Collecting himself, he straightened and followed after her. His mind was swimming with confusion. He couldn't understand why he had lost control of himself. It was a very common reaction for a turian male who worried about the wellbeing of his mate. However it was _not_ common for him to react so blindly, _and_ she was _not_ his mate. He needed a chance to sort through this; give it some rational thought. There will be time on the way back to the Citadel. Though, unfortunately, it was a very small ship.

* * *

><p>Once out of the proximity of the planet, Saren activated the ship's autopilot and assisted Shepard in tending to her arm. The gashes were not as bad as she had feared, and she knew that provided him a bit of reprieve. She didn't dare ask him what had set him off. He had erred, and he knew it. She also knew he despised admitting his mistakes openly, though she could easily read the apology in his eyes, which was enough.<p>

"So," he started, interrupting the silence. "What exactly did you think were you doing back there?"

She knew there was no sense in lying to him as he would find out the truth sooner or later, and later might be even more dangerous. Looking him squarely in the eyes she said, "I was releasing the slaves." Before he could scold her for disobeying orders, she held up the hand of her uninjured arm and shot him a warning glance. "I couldn't leave them," she continued. "There were families in there, and I had a plan, which worked out rather well I might add."

He reigned in his anger. "Explain," he demanded.

"Well," she began, leaning back against the bulkhead, "since you so expertly dealt with the mercs, we had no opposition during our escape." She flashed him a smirk, knowing she had just stroked his ego a bit. "I closed them up in a storage shed, far enough from the explosions so they would not be harmed. Then, I notified the Alliance fleet of their location so a rescue team can retrieve them. And... to take care of the Blue Sun reinforcements, I planted some additional explosives on their landing pad, discharging it with a manual detonator when they landed," she finished proudly.

He stared at her a few moments, anger boiling inside him. What she had done was impressive, undeniably so. However, she disobeyed his order, risked her life for a few worthless slaves, and jeopardized the mission. _And_ she was proud of it. "It was a foolish risk," he growled.

She blinked pale green eyes at this. "Sometimes, it's _worth_ the risk!" she snapped.

"It is not if you weigh the worth of their lives against your own. Consider the consequences of losing the life of one Spectre opposed to losing the lives of several common individuals. The actions of a single Spectre contribute to the wellbeing of the entire galaxy, while those of ordinary people benefit only themselves. Therefore, it is sometimes necessary to relinquish the lives of others to preserve your own," he said levelly.

"I disagree," she challenged. "Why else do Spectres exist if not to take risks and save lives where others would not? Tell me that!"

He sprung forth at her, hurling his fist past her head, where it made loud contact with the bulkhead. "You just don't get it, do you?" he snarled.

Unflinching, she narrowed her eyes at him in ire. "What don't I get?"

"You are a fool!" he snapped, bearing his teeth.

"I guess that's one thing that makes us no different, isn't it?" she retorted.

He simply growled in response, unmoving. As he became increasingly aware of their close proximity he was finding it difficult to remain angered. However, he refused to back down. He nearly lost her and he couldn't shake off the fear and rage he had felt. He glared into her eyes and they burned back at him challengingly. The instinct to dominate and claim began to resonate from his core. He could feel her breath feathering over his face like silk and it caused his plates to shift slightly. His blue eyes were haunted as they bore into her soul. A sea of emotions flowed through them and they flashed like an electric current. In one swift motion he moved against her, hurtling his other arm against the bulkhead to pin her securely. Pressing his hard mouth against her soft lips, he forced his tongue into her, desperately searching for hers. He could hear a small moan escape her as his tongue intertwined with hers needily. Her hands were suddenly on him desperately working at the straps of his armor.

After relieving him of his constraints he stood, moving her with him, mouths still locked in heated desire. They both fumbled with her armor, being unable to remove it fast enough. Claws ripping at the body suit underneath he tore it from her body, letting it fall to the floor in tattered shreds. As her arms wrapped around his cowl, he lifted her rear and her legs encircled his waist. This hurtled him over the edge and he pushed her up against the bulkhead forcefully, pinning her body with his. He shifted to position himself at her entrance and slid into her in one swift movement. The sudden sensation caused them both to gasp and he began to move within her rapidly.

Shepard could feel blood trickling down her thighs as his claws gripped her hips greedily; could feel his chest plates scrape against her breasts, rubbing them raw. Her back ground against the bulkhead bolts and plating. Every painful sensation only heightened her pleasure as he thrust himself within her, bringing her ever closer to her peak. He continued to slam into her, hard and she could feel him swell within her as he was brought closer to climax. The ridges of his member rubbed her inner walls with increased friction as they gripped him tighter. She didn't want it to end but the desperation and ferocity of their joining was too much to bear. She cried his name in between breathy moans as she came around him.

Saren could feel her fingers digging into the skin below his fringe as she came on him. He howled in both feral pleasure and desire as he pounded into her body with intense desperation. He lowered his mouth to her shoulder and sunk his teeth into her soft flesh possessively. The moan this drew from her lips was all he needed as he released himself into her. Slowing his thrusts, his rough tongue licked at the blood seeping from the tiny holes on her shoulder, he drew in her scent. Remaining entwined he lowered himself to the cool metal floor and resting his back against the opposite wall causing her to now sit atop him. Panting heavily she leaned against his chest, resting her cheek against plating. He reached up to caress the bite on her shoulder with the pad of his thumb.

She leaned back a bit and turned her eyes to glance at the marks before returning them to him. "Does that have meaning, what you did?" she asked, referring to the bite mark on her shoulder.

Swallowing his pride he decided to admit its meaning, she deserved to know, no matter how much he feared her response. "It represents my commitment to you," he responded.

Her eyes pierced his searchingly and, after a moment, a smile spread over her pink lips. It made his stomach flutter for a brief moment. She raised her hands to the back of her neck, unhooking a chain that donned metal tags that hung over her chest. Leaning toward him she placed it around his neck, hooking it into place. She chuckled softly, seeing the confusion in his eyes. "They're my dog tags," she explained. "They represent my life in many ways. From the time I left Earth, abandoning everything I have known, these have been the symbolism of my salvation. A new beginning." She smiled warmly. "I'd like you to have them."

His mandibles flared in appreciation. "Thank you, Shepard. I..." he trailed off.

"You don't need to say anything else," she said, trying to put him at ease. "I would be happy just to remain like this for now."

Leaning towards her he gently touched his forehead to hers. "At least we have a few days before we reach the Citadel..." he purred.

This drew a smile from her and she leaned into him. "A few days, huh? We better make the most of it," she said.


	3. The Councilor

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The three days it had taken to reach the Citadel had been spent on exploring one another both physically and psychologically. When they weren't involved in arduous amounts of lovemaking they had taken the time to exchange stories. Saren's life, she found, had revolved mainly around the turian military and being a Spectre. He entered the turian military at the age of fifteen and not long after, became a Spectre. He had spoken briefly of his brother Desolas, however seemingly unwilling to relive the details of his death. Saren had described to her the turian homeworld of Palaven. Despite being an obviously exotic planet, he apparently didn't miss it and had no intentions of ever returning. The large empty void of space had been his home for the past thirty-four years and he seemed satisfied with that. The aspects, he had freely given, of his personal life had been brief. He was more content to discuss tales of his many missions while working as a Spectre for the Council.

Shepard was much more engaging in the details of her past; a past which she was proud to leave behind. She had been born in the slums of Earth, with no parents, and had grown up in a ramshackle orphanage. From the age of eleven she had fallen in with a bad crowd of children who had learned to steal what they needed to survive the "shit-hole", as she described it. Only a couple of years later, she had been convinced by the other kids to run away to join the 10th Street Reds, a local gang. After leaving the orphanage the gang became her means of survival and her only family. Here, she had honed her skills in stealth and hand-to-hand combat. Her abilities allowed her to become an exceptionally valued member of the Reds. Where a weaker female would normally have been broken in such a male-dominated group of thugs, Shepard had commanded respect. Due to her natural leadership abilities she had attracted quite a few supporters and had often butted heads with the gang leader. She had disapproved of where the group was headed, which was turning to hate crimes and unprovoked violence. At the age of eighteen she decided to abandon the impoverished life she had on earth and enlist in the Alliance military. As she had previously explained, this was a huge turning point in her life, a new beginning that paved the way for a more meaningful existence. Though her N7 missions were not as glorious as that of a Spectre, she had spoken of them fondly with a glint of pride in her green eyes.

After finally docking at the Citadel spaceport, they had gathered their gear and departed the ship. They walked in silence, having no desire to draw too much attention from those who knew of Saren. However, before going their separate ways Saren turned to her. "I need to report to the Council today. I will find you later and we can… discuss the next mission," he said suggestively, mandibles flaring.

She grinned wickedly in response. "Until later, Arterius."

Giving one another a final nod, they went their separate ways, Shepard quickly making her way to the Presidium. She stepped out into the light that glistened off of towering silver buildings and the deep blue lake water. Breathing in deeply, she took in the scents of familiarity.

* * *

><p>Saren tread confidently through the Council Chambers. The Chambers were bustling with activity. Citizens of all races scurried around the open area, stopping only to avoid obstructing the path of the turian Spectre. He made his way up the long flight of stairs to the Petitioner's Stage where the Council stood in wait.<p>

"Saren," the asari Councilor addressed him. "We have received your report, excellent job on the mission. It seems you were also able to release human slaves from the facility. "

Saren stood straight, regarding the Councilors with the respect they commanded. "Thank you, Councilor. And yes, we were able to safely extricate those individuals." He could feel the turian Councilor's eyes on him, almost warily; however he chose to ignore it for now.

The salarian Councilor took his turn to speak up, "How goes the evaluation of the human candidate, Shepard?"

"As can be viewed in my report, the candidate known as Verra Shepard has proven herself to be exceptionally skilled," he replied. "So far she has demonstrated an unexpected ability to both handle herself in a firefight and stealth deep into enemy territory."

"And what of the slaves?" The turian Councilor chimed in. "Was it Shepard's idea to release them, possibly risking the mission?"

Saren scowled. He knew Valern's intention. He wanted to block any chances Shepard had of becoming a Spectre. He was also aware of the turian Councilor's scheme to use Saren's speciesism to his benefit; he had made that clear enough during their previous meeting. "It was her idea," he responded calmly. "However, the mission was not at risk. She had already completed the objective before the rescue attempt and the only additional life threatened was her own." He glanced at each of the Council member's faces, taking note of their reactions to his reassurance. The asari and salarian Councilors nodded to one another approvingly. The turian Councilor, however, grunted in disapproval.

The asari Councilor was the last to speak. "Thank you for your report, Saren. Please await the details of your next mission. You are dismissed," she finished with a slight bow of her head.

"I will be ready, Councilors." As he left the platform he could feel the other turian's eyes boring into his back. He was obviously displeased with what had just transpired, however Saren was no pawn, and it was about time he acknowledged such.

* * *

><p>Shepard sank into the bench, bathing in the Presidium's artificial sunlight. She had to drop off her gear, but she felt so warm and relaxed. Leaning her head back she allowed the light rays to wash over her face. A contented sigh escaped her and she felt herself begin to drift.<p>

"Shepard!" She heard a familiar voice call her name. She lifted her head, squinting against the light that pierced her recently opened eyes. A dark-haired, well-built man dressed in tactical clothing came strutting towards her.

"Good afternoon, Alenko," she returned in greeting to her colleague. She rose to her feet and accepted his hand in a friendly shake. She and Kaidan Alenko had both been serving under Captain Anderson, she as his XO and he as a Lieutenant on the SSV Normandy. "How goes it? Has anything interesting happened while I've been gone?"

Kaidan let out a small chuckle. "Not quite, we're still on shore leave for the time being. Will you be joining us on the next flight out, or will Pressly be relieving you?"

"I'm not certain," she replied. "I'm sure the Council will probably have another assignment planned shortly."

"Yeah, Anderson mentioned that you were a candidate for the Spectres!" he exclaimed with admiration. "How is the evaluation progressing?"

"So far it's going well, I think. Saren Arterius is quite the experience Spectre," she declared, a bit too enthusiastically.

Kaidan huffed in response. "Well, just be careful," he warned. "I hear Saren doesn't care for humans much and I wouldn't like to see you hurt," he paused a moment realizing how his statement had come out, deciding to end with, "Uh, mam."

She chuckled quietly at his slip up. She could tell Kaidan had admired her as both a soldier and a woman. He was attractive, that was obvious enough. Despite his handsome appearance he had a very mild personality and "mild" didn't really peak her interest. Occasionally she had wondered how he would be in bed, if his outward persona wasn't at all related to his bedroom behavior and he was really a freak in the sack, like her. However that was the extent of her curiosity, and currently didn't have a desire to sate it, especially not after her time with Saren. "I can handle myself," she assured him.

"Of that I have no doubt," he insisted with praise. After a moment of silence he uncomfortably rubbed the back of his neck. "So, Shepard…" he started, "There's been something I've been meaning to ask you—"

He was suddenly interrupted by a beep from her omi-tool. She couldn't decipher if the look that spread over his face was one of disappointment or relief. "Sorry Kaidan, please excuse me a moment," she apologized. Peering down at the message that coursed over the holographic screen of her omi-tool, she frowned as she considered the message, before switching it off.

"Everything alright, mam?" Kaidan asked, noticing the concern that crossed her expression.

"Fine, I think," she responded uncertainly. "The turian Councilor wishes for me to meet with him at my earliest convenience."

"Does that not bode well?"

"I can't be certain. Though I do know he dislikes humanity and I wouldn't be surprised if he wished to see me fail, somehow." She paused for a moment, lost in thought before turning her eyes back to the man standing before her. "Sorry Kaidan, I need to drop off my gear and meet with the Councilor. I'll catch up with you later, okay?"

"Of course, Shepard," he responded. "Take care."

"You too," she replied hurriedly as she gathered her gear and started off towards her apartment.

* * *

><p>Shepard arrived at the turian Councilor's office, freshly dressed in a dark blue fitted t-shirt and black tactical pants, completed with her favorite combat boots. She wanted to go for a casual appearance but still retain a militaristic air, as was her typical way. The door guards opened the entryway as she approached, allowing her to proceed without question. As she entered the large office, she could see the councilor seated at his desk. He watched her approach as a predator would its prey. The look in his eyes betrayed contempt and it made her uncomfortable. Despite this she kept her back straight and head held high, coming to stand before his desk. She folded her hands behind her back respectfully before addressing him. "Councilor."<p>

"Shepard," he responded in acknowledgment. After a moment he continued, "I hear you are receiving a great deal of praise from our most valued Spectre. Under the circumstances I find that quite odd."

"Sir?" she inquired, not knowing where this was going.

The councilor stood from his desk, peering at her with cold hard eyes. "I am not as unmindful as you may think, human," he hissed. He made his way around to stand between her and his desk, towering over her threateningly.

"I am still unsure of what you are implying, Councilor." Her eyes burned back, challenging him.

He leaned down towards her. His hot breath feathered her neck and it caused her to shift nervously. As he drew in a breath a low guttural sound rumbled in his throat. She couldn't tell if it was from anger or amusement. "I can smell him on you," he growled. "Just as I could smell your scent on him. It's as I have suspected."

She hesitated, fear coursing through her at having her neck exposed to a fierce predatory turian; one who would have no qualms about tearing her apart if she were to make a wrong move or a snide remark. "We _have_ been working together for nearly two weeks. Perhaps you assume too much, Councilor," she insisted.

"Do not think you can deceive me so easily, human," he roared, grasping the collar of her shirt with taloned fingers. She winced as they ripped holes through the fabric, a seemingly common occurrence whenever she dealt with turians. She could see his eyes shift to her right shoulder where it was now exposed from his grip. Fury swam in his eyes like a sea of flame as the rows of puncture wounds caught in his vision. "I see he has claimed you as his whore," he spat, releasing her collar but not stepping back.

She tugged at her shirt, straightening it out as best she could. Her eyes never left his and they bore into them defiantly. Again she stood straight, raising her chin to present the appearance of unabashed pride. She refused to play into his game; refused to show she was anything but undaunted by his scorn.

A low rumble arose from his chest and he turned from her, returning to his place behind his desk. "You are dismissed," he ordered.

Shepard stood ever straighter and nodded once in valediction before turning to march from the office. The guards paid her no heed as she left, and as she made her way out of the Citadel Tower she wasn't sure if she should be relieved that she survived the confrontation or fearful of what was to come of it. As of now, only time will tell.


	4. Coming to Terms

Shepard waited in her apartment for Saren for a few hours, but he didn't show. She sat, stood, paced, sat again, and crossed her legs, switching between each one. Jumping up from her chair again, she began another round of pacing. She was going stir-crazy here. The more she sat around alone the more she thought about that bat-shit-crazy turian Councilor and what this could mean for her career. She didn't want to think, she wanted to drink. _That's it, no more sitting around, _she concluded. Sprinting from the apartment she made her way towards the Wards, her mind already beginning to feel clearer.

* * *

><p>Flux was a much less seedy establishment than Chora's Den. Rather than sleazy asari dancers scattered throughout, there was a welcoming dance floor where the many Citadel races reveled in the flickering lights. This club was much cleaner than the sordid one in the Lower Wards and the music was much easier on the ears. Flux was especially packed tonight. Shepard scanned the span of the bar area in an attempt to locate a seat. Her eyes came to rest on some familiar intricate white turian markings contrasted against a dark face. He was seated alone at a booth against the wall, casually drinking a blue beverage. Making her way to the booth, she unceremoniously slid into the bench across from him.<p>

"Nihlus," she greeted with a smile, lacing her fingers on the table in front of her.

"Shepard," he responded with a nod. "Are you here to buy me another drink?" he asked downing the remainder of the blue liquid.

She laughed in response, leading forward. "I was going to ask you the same thing," she declared, flicking his glass with her finger nail.

Nihlus considered her for a moment as he sniffed the air. "Smells like you've been busy," he observed.

She arched her brow and passed him a look of mock irritation. "I showered, I swear!"

An amused chuckle arose from deep within his throat. "I mean I smell a turian hormonal scent on you. I didn't know you were into turians."

She leaned back against the cushioned rear of the bench, giving him a teasing smirk. "What can I say? I have a thing for sharp claws and teeth. And the plating is hot."

"Actually, the plating is quite cool," he retorted.

"I hate you," she joked with a laugh.

"Can I get you anything?" A voice interrupted. They both looked up to see a human waitress awaiting their order.

"Another Palaven Bomber," Nihlus told her.

"Give me the strongest thing you've got!" Shepard proclaimed with a grin.

"Got it," the waitress said, heading back to the bar.

Nihlus's eyes returned to the slight blond human across from him. "You better watch yourself Shepard," he warned. "A human woman with that scent on her can stir up many reactions from other turians. Some may see it as threatening and others as an invitation."

"I'll be fine, you know me. I can take care of myself," she assured him. It's been months since she had seen him, but he was still as concerned about her as ever. They had been friends for quite a while. She couldn't even remember how they had gotten to that point, but when he wasn't on missions, he was always available when she needed someone to talk to.

"So how do you…" he started, "You know… with the whole dextro amino thing." His eyes studied her curiously.

She waited for the waitress to drop off the drinks and leave before answering. "I haven't had any problems so far," she answered. "Some occasional chaffing if it gets too rough, and if I ingest I take a pill to quell any allergic reactions."

"Maybe I shouldn't have asked," he said clearing his throat uncomfortably.

Shepard downed her drink and unleashed a musical laugh. "What's wrong Nihlus? Getting ideas?" she joked and waved at the waitress, indicating that she wanted another drink.

A few drinks later, they were both deeply intoxicated. Nihlus had been telling her entertaining stories from around the Citadel and she was laughing her ass off, which only seemed to draw him on more.

"… And then the hanar attempted to wrap its tentacles around the volus's neck, in the end proclaiming that 'it is too corpulent to kill in this manner'," he finished with a throaty chortle.

She was laughing so hard, tears were forming in her eyes. She reached for her glass and took another drink, causing her giggles to die down a bit. "Oh Nihlus, I can always rely on you to cheer me up," she said adoringly.

"I can think of other ways to cheer you up," he purred. He sat back in his seat astonishing himself at what he had just blurted out. He wondered what had gotten into him. He just made a pass at his _human _friend. It had been a while since he'd last seen her. He nearly forgot about the attraction that had been hanging in the air between them. And now here she was, drunk and smelling of turian hormones. _Fuck it_, he thought to himself. I'm drunk. She's drunk. He was definitely attracted to her, though he generally didn't have a thing for human or asari. But despite the anatomic similarities, Shepard was radiantly unique. Why not see how far this can go?

"What are you insisting?" She looked at him skeptically, raising a brow ridge.

"You know what I mean, Shepard." He gave her a toothy turian grin. The more he thought about the possibilities, the more he anticipated her response to his proposal. He shifted in his seat uncomfortably as she regarded him with wide green eyes. He couldn't tell if she was considering or thinking of how to let him down easy.

"Yes, what exactly _do_ you mean Nihlus?" He heard a low voice growl threateningly. Nihlus could sense a territorial scent filling his nose, though he doubted she could sense it. He started to grow nervous. He was in no condition for a fight if one arose. He was currently at an extreme disadvantage, but if he needed to he would do what he could to prevent any harm coming to his companion. Both their eyes simultaneously turned from each other to the source of the voice. When his eyes finally focused on the figure towering over them, a sense of relief rose up within him.

"Saren!" He greeted. "It's been a while friend." He could see the large pale turian glance from Shepard and back to him with rage-filled eyes. A wave of uneasiness washed over him. He was very familiar with Saren's speciesism and wondered if the other Spectre suspected them of being together. If so, he had to prepare himself for a scolding or a fight. His old mentor would definitely not approve of turian-human relationships, that was for sure.

"So what is going on here?" the older turian snarled, turning to Shepard.

"Nihlus and I were just discussing some amusing stories over a drink," she assured him, glancing at the younger turian across the table.

_Why is she answering to him? _Nihlus wondered to himself. _Wasn't he expecting me to explain myself, not her?_

"Why don't you have a seat?" she suggested to him as she slid to the furthest side of the bench, against the wall.

Nihlus looked at the older turian nervously. His mentor didn't take well to others, especially _humans, _acting chummy with him. He knew if Saren struck out at her, there would be an unavoidable fight; though Nihlus would likely be on the losing end. However, he almost choked when he saw the other Spectre slide in next to the woman, and very closely at that.

"You're drunk," Saren declared matter-of-factly, not taking his eyes from her.

"Hmm… just a little," she said sweetly, leaning into him and darting out her tongue to lick his mandible.

Witnessing this act of affection caused Nihlus to nearly fall out of his bench. He couldn't get his head around it. It didn't seem possible. _This was the turian she had been sleeping with? But how and why? And Saren with a human… unfathomable! And that human being Shepard! _He groaned in frustration. His head was beginning to throb. "How do you know each other?" he asked them.

"We have been _acquainted _for a few months." Saren emphasized the word to express implication to the other turian Spectre. "Now I am acting as her mentor."

"Mentor? Does that mean-?" _It could only mean one thing_, Nihlus thought.

Saren was now nipping her neck possessively, leaving little red marks to show the younger turian his claim on her. Shepard looked at him from across the table with a slight hint of shock. "The Council didn't tell you? I'm being evaluated for Spectre status!" She exclaimed proudly. "I thought you knew all along."

"I had no idea, but I'm happy to hear it," he said with genuine approval, while trying to ignore Saren's display of dominance. It was strange seeing his former mentor react this way. Of course, it was common for all male turians who claimed a female and sensed challenge from another turian male. However, this was _Saren_. Cold and calculating _Saren. _Not to mention the thought of him choosing a human as a mate was indiscernible.

Saren turned to Nihlus, eyes burning into him from across the table like blue electric orbs. "While it is pleasantly unexpected to see you, my friend," he said levelly, "I think it is best that we take our leave before things become… indecent." He turned back to the intoxicated woman to nuzzle her neck suggestively, drawing a giggle from her.

As he watched them get up to leave, Nihlus could feel a sickening knot churning in his stomach. Just a moment ago he was ready to take his friend in wild drunken passion. A friend who was obviously about to reject him. He wasn't sure if he felt ashamed or jealous. After bidding them farewell his mind wandered to the turian Councilor and what he would think of his favorite Spectre cavorting with a human. Hopefully he wasn't aware. He also hoped that Shepard was not being deceived in a plot to keep humans out of the Spectres. If that was the case, Saren was a better actor than he thought. The image of what the couple together played in his mind and it made his head ache all the more. _This is too much to swallow in one night… I need to sleep this off_, he thought to himself as he made his way out of the thunderous club.

* * *

><p>Saren stepped into the middle of the turian Councilor's office. "Councilor," he greeted. He felt on edge, not being completely sure why he was called for a private audience this morning. However, he suspected the reason and knew the meeting wouldn't conclude peacefully.<p>

The Councilor looked up from his datapad, eyes like small coals. "Saren," he addressed levelly. He stood, clawed hands resting on his desk as he leaned forward. "I had a chat with your human pet yesterday," he stated demandingly. "Very charming little creature, for a _human_." He snickered low in his chest as he walked around the perimeter of his desk. "I can see why you choose to play with her." He came to a stop before the Spectre, dark eyes piercing his in challenge.

Saren growled deeply in his chest. The fact he was intentionally belittling her made his blood boil. "Is this why you called me here, _Councilor_?" He spat the title. "To berate her?"

The Councilor glared at him briefly, then flared his mandibles in mock amusement. "Actually I called you here to inform you that Nihlus will be taking over as the human's mentor. He will continue the evaluation as you have more important missions on which to concentrate you efforts."

"What?" Saren hissed. "What more important mission is there than to evaluate another potential Spectre?" He couldn't believe this was happening. A wave of emotions he couldn't control flooded over him as he thought about losing Shepard as his protégé; rage, loss, jealousy. _Nihlus_. The thought of her being alone with him made his blood boil. He attempted pushed these emotions to the back of his mind before speaking again. "Councilor, no matter what my personal situation is with her, I will not be dishonest in my evaluations. I have made that clear to her and now I am making that clear to you."

"I have made my choice, Arterius."

"And I am challenging it!" Saren spat back.

"You know... I have not yet told the other Council members of your relationship with this woman. However, if you would prefer it, I shall," he threatened coldly.

"I wouldn't care what you tell them, you know that. I'm the best and most experienced Spectre the Council has."

"Yes, and as our 'best and most experienced Spectre' you must put the Council first. You must abide by what _we_ decide. _You_ know _that._"

Saren glared at the Councilor, not bothering to hide his rage. This was a losing battle. He was bound to the word of the Council. No threats were relevant. The Council could easily use anything he threw at them as retribution. They may find any reason to keep the couple separated, assigning to them missions on either end of the galaxy or guaranteed they never made shore leave at the same time. Anything was possible. Their lives were in the hands of the Council.

"She, this _human_,why is it that she distracts you? You, who feel compassion for no one, especially humans. Is she so adept at pleasing turian cock that she keeps you coming back for more?" He paused as if to wait for some sort of reaction before continuing. "If so, perhaps I will try her when she has tired of you. I hope she likes to take it rough," he said lewdly.

This threw Saren over the breaking point. With a roar he charged at the Councilor, wrapping a taloned hand around his neck and pinning him backward onto his desk. He lowered his face to hover above that of the other turian. "Don't you _dare_ touch her. And don't let me ever hear you speak of her like some whore."

Valern didn't flinch, even as he felt the claws of the furious turian dig into the flesh of his neck. Instead, he simply laughed deep in his throat. "Saren you misunderstand. Humans are fickle, they do not believe in mating for life as turians do. 'Marriage' as they call it is nothing but a temporary bond to satisfy themselves. She will never be your life mate."

"You know nothing about her Valern!" he growled dangerously.

"I do know that she is still young _Saren_," he responded, adding intended emphasis on his name. "What will you do when she decides she wants children? You obviously cannot provide that for her. She will ride you for as long as it satisfies her and cast you out when she decides she will soon be too old to continue her line."

Releasing the other turian's neck, he stepped back. "She isn't like other humans, Valern."

"Perhaps not," the Councilor said as he stood up straight, rubbing the flesh that had recently been so close to being ripped open.

But what if Valern was right? He had never thought about it before. She _was_ still young, much younger than himself. What if she _did_ want children? He would never be able to satisfy those desires. Did she really have no intention of ever bonding with him?

"I think we can conclude this here. My door is always open," the Councilor said as he seated himself at his desk to ascertain the ending of the meeting.

* * *

><p>As soon as he had left Valern's office he found himself seeking out Shepard at her apartment. He wanted to be the one to tell her they would no longer be working as a team before she found out by other means. It infuriated him, but it was the will of the Council. He would do what he could to keep himself in check while she worked under Nihlus – worked <em>with <em>Nihlus. He cursed himself for the phrasing that made his jealousy resurface.

When he arrived at the door to her apartment he entered the code and stepped inside. The scent of her filled his senses causing heated pleasure to flow through his veins. He could hear water running a few rooms over. Following the sound he moved towards the bathroom. The steamy heat of the shower permeated through the door. He quickly discarded his armor and pressed the button for the door. As it swished open, muted by the sound of spraying water, he crept into the bathroom silently. Her back was facing him from within the open shower space and she didn't notice him enter. Not wanting to take too long to admire the scene before him, lest he be discovered, he swiftly closed the space between them. He encircled her slick body with his arms to draw her close and lowered his head to nuzzle her neck.

Her hand came up to lightly caress his face, from cheek to fringe. Closing her eyes, she reveled in the warmth that surrounded her. She sighed pleasantly and turned to face him, her arms reaching around his cowl to complete the embrace. "This is a pleasant surprise."

"As is this." He nodded towards the shower.

"Did you come here to join me?" She asked, darting out her tongue to lick his mouth.

The look in his eyes shifted from playful to distraught. "Actually I came to speak with you regarding a displeasing matter."

All expression fled leaving her with only her soldier face. "What's wrong?"

Not wanting to meet the disappointment in her eyes, he looked away. "I have been informed that I will no longer be serving as your mentor. Nihlus, will now be serving as your evaluating Spectre."

"W-what?" She stammered as she released her hold on him, taking a step back. "What happened? Why was this decided?"

"The Council ordered it. I was informed that I have more important missions to tend to, but I suspect it is largely in part to the relationship that has formed between us."

"The turian Councilor, Valern!" She spat. "It's _him_ isn't it? I don't know what his game is, but I'm going to find out." She turned off the shower, grabbing two towels from a bar and handing one to the damp naked turian.

"Shepard, you can't confront him. I have already overstepped my bounds with my reaction. As Spectres we are obligated to the Council. I do not like this any more than you, but we have our orders." He wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close. He could feel the warmth of her face against his chest plate and it calmed him.

"I guess it was bound to happen eventually, wasn't it?" She murmured into his chest.

"When you're a Spectre as well, we will be away from each other often. It's something we must come to terms with and not allow it to interfere," he said, resting his head on her damp hair.

"We'll manage." Wrapping her arms around his sensitive waist, she relaxed into him. "We're soldiers, right? What matters is now."

She was right. They _are _soldiers. Any day could be their last. What mattered was the present, and presently they had each other. He took in a deep breath, drawing in the sweet scent of her hair. It was a smell that made him feel content. The scent of flowers. He hated flowers. But right now it was the most wonderful smell he had ever experienced.


	5. Flawed

**I'd just like to thank everyone for all your awesome comments! To know people are enjoying the story is a true motivator. This was a tough chapter, but knowing I have readers out there kept me going strong. Thanks again!**

A week had gone by before Shepard received a message from Nihlus about the mission in the Hades Gamma system. There had been reports of a large slaving ring on a small planet somewhere in the Antaeus cluster. Not much information was available on the exact location or the group behind the operation. Some reports suspected pirates, others claimed the Blood Pack was behind it. Nihlus assumed both.

It had taken nearly five days to reach the cluster in the small scouting ship. They had studied the planets in the cluster to deduce which was most likely to house the operation. Ageko was far too hot to support any type of life, so that was easily discounted. Edmos and Ploba were gas giants which automatically omitted them. That only left Trebin, Vemal, and Hunidor. Hunidor, however was undeniably cold and the terrain was a flat sheet of ice, not leaving much cover for a covert facility. Shepard's guess to the housing planet was Trebin. The planet was a bit cold, but inhabitable with few hazards. Nihlus believed otherwise. Trebin was the much too obvious choice, however it was orbited by satellites and was more frequently visited by passing ships. While one might see planetary visitors as a benefit to slave trade, most of those who landed were heavily armed. Vemal, on the other hand, was not often traveled due to its much colder climate and hazardous surface gases. The crust was composed mainly of ice and rock. And being a mainly mountainous region would make it easier to hide suspicious facilities.

The pair had made a bet on it. As many drinks as the winner could down, paid for by the loser. Shepard knew she would make out like a bandit if she won. Her tolerance for alcohol was extensive. She was known for drinking some krograns under the table. This could be quite the prize.

Nihlus had given her the benefit of the doubt, and honed in on Trebin first. Throughout the day their scanners had picked up on several survey sites. However none of these had ever produced anything noteworthy. Satisfied that they had scanned every bit of the planet's surface, Nihlus decided to call a break.

"Looks like you lose, Shepard," he teased, leaving the controls to sit himself against the bulkhead.

Seating herself across from the turian, she scowled at him through narrowed eyes. "You haven't won yet. Don't count your volus until they hatch."

"What?" he asked between a chuckle.

"Never mind." She pulled her knees up and leaned her head against the cool metal behind her. "So when are we gonna hit the scanners on Vemal?"

"Tomorrow. We'll want to be well rested when we find our quarry," he told her.

"_If _we find it," she corrected.

"Oh, we'll find it," he assured her. "Then you'll owe me some of those nice little expensive drinks at Flux."

She looked at him with amusement in her eyes and unleashed a spirited laugh. "Those fruity ones? You pansy-ass!"

"Yes the _fruity _ones," he replied, crossing his arms. "And I want those silly little things humans put in their drinks."

"Umbrellas?" She arched her eyebrow at him.

"Yes."

"Weirdo."

They sat a while in silence, reveling in the peaceful sounds of the ship. All that could be heard was the creaks of the vessel, the hum of the engine, and their own breathing. Suddenly the stillness was breached by the sound of Shepard's omi-tool. Glancing at the screen, she rose to her feet. "Excuse me a minute," she said as she moved towards the rear of the ship.

Switching on the message, she could see a holographic image of Saren hovering above the tool. Since her departure from the Citadel they had mainly been keeping in touch by exchanging textual messages. That he took the time to send a holographic message warmed her heart. The message was short and sweet. He had hoped she was doing well and that Nihlus wasn't giving her too hard a time. If he was at all jealous, he no longer showed it. The fact that he trusted her brought a smile to her lips. After the message had ended with an "Until later my little Shepard", she switched off the omni-tool and released a contented sigh. He had changed so much in the time they had been together. He had opened up to her, something he had apparently never done with another. He showed her a softness within him, which was normally hidden by a cold and uncaring exterior. She was lucky to unearth such a precious gem.

* * *

><p>Saren never thought it was possible, but he was lonely. Since Shepard had been sent off on a mission with Nihlus, he felt at a loss. Over the past week or so, he had been keeping himself occupied with some odd jobs around the Citadel until a real assignment would eventually be sent his way. He was beginning to spend even more time on his main ship, doing what he could to keep himself distracted. Most of it was unsuccessful, however. What he really wanted wasn't here, so he had to make do without her for a while. He knew it would get easier with time, but their relationship was still so fresh and new and there wasn't enough time in the world to discover everything that was <em>Shepard<em>.

He leaned back in his cot, sharp eyes scanning the dim vastness of the ship's interior. It was quiet and peaceful in the confines of the ship. It gave him time away from the bustling sounds of the Citadel. Since he had obtained this ship, he had rarely used it for missions due to its size and distinguishable appearance. It was more like a home. A home he wished she would someday share with him.

He listened to the faint groans of the ship. They sometimes sounded like voices that whispered to him through the darkness. They were the only things that soothed him right now that she was gone. Sometimes it seemed he could almost make out words in them, however foolish it seemed. It was probably only the result of his uneasy mind playing tricks on him. Allowing himself to relax a bit, he tried to form words from the "voices" of the ship, amused at how pathetic he was becoming due to the affections of one woman.

A faint beeping from his omni-tool interrupted his thoughts. Raising it before his eyes, he switched it on to view the message. It was from Shepard. His heart fluttered as he read through it. The holo he had sent to her earlier seemed to have made her pleasantly surprised. His mandibles flared as he pictured her bright eyes and the smile plastered on her face. She told him the mission had so far been uneventful and of her bet with Nihlus, which she subsequently lost. She had mentioned how she missed their "downtime" and promised to make it up when she returned. Switching off the omni-tool, he allowed himself to relax again into the cot. Feeling a bit more satisfied now, he began to drift off to sleep, listening to the vocalized sounds of the ship. In those sounds he could faintly make out a word that he carried with him into slumber. "Sovereign."

* * *

><p>It was so cold Shepard could feel it through her environment suit. They had been scoping out the facility on Vemal for a few days, noting armed guard rotations along with any landings and take-offs that had been made during that course of time. Nihlus was right, batarian pirates and Blood Pack mercs were running this operation together. It was a process that worked. The pirates would retrieve the slaves and deliver to this facility while the mercs stayed planetside to act as armed guards for the "goods". The facility itself was well-fortified. Being built into a rock outcropping provided a natural shield, as did being surrounded by various other icy rock formations. However, these factors greatly contributed to the successful plan of a Spectre and his protégé.<p>

Thankfully, they hadn't yet seen any slaves leave the planet. Any that would have been led out before they were primed for an infiltration, would have been lost to whoever had purchased them. They couldn't risk giving themselves away until they were thoroughly prepared, else risk the entire mission and the lives of the remaining slaves. Batarian pirates had a very strict rule of business. Those who could not be sold, died. If they discovered that their entire operation was at risk to be shut down, every prisoner would be immediately executed. So was their way.

The pair then tread their way back to the camouflaged scouting ship to gather gear and disguises. Sneaking in wasn't going to be easy for a human and a turian among a hoard of batarians, krogan, and vorcha. They needed to use the distraction from an oncoming ship which was due to deliver slaves at any moment. The plan was dangerous. Once in the ship they began their transformations.

Nihlus now donned an oversized set of Blood Pack armor, originally meant for a krogan. The way the red armor dwarfed him, made his head and neck look ridiculous as it peaked up over the top. However, once he had adorned the large krogan helmet to complete the outfit, one never would have known he had been a turian; that is, if one were to not take notice the leg spurs, which the armor had consequently been designed to accommodate. Shepard, on the other hand, slipped easily into a cheap loose envirosuit. This particular suit closely resembled the ones they had often seen the slaves wearing who had recently arrived on Vemal. They had more than likely been provided by the pirates to keep their "goods" alive until they reached the facility. Dressed and ready, it was nearly time to act. They crept their way from the ship and around the ring-like formations of hilly rock that circled the base. Now it was time to wait for the transport ship.

* * *

><p>They had waited silently for hours before the transport ship arrived. Shepard was relieved when it had finally come into view above. The cheap envirosuit was riding up her ass and she could feel the harsh cold seeping through the crude seams. When the transport ship had come close enough to ground to catch the guards' attentions and create adequate noise, they began their descent on the facility. Edging up along the rocky outcropping, they made their way to the edge, where one of the guards stood. The red-clad krogan stood with his back slightly peaking over the corner from which they crept.<p>

_Taking down this krogan quickly isn't going to be easy -_, she groaned to herself. However before she could fully finish her thought, Nihlus had already had the hefty krogan pulled back out of sight with his helmet ripped off and a bullet hole below his crest.

_Ok… never mind_, she thought as she dismissed her previous doubts.

He motioned for her to drag the krogan's body into a small alcove in the rock while the turian casually slid into his place. Immediately she began dragging the heavy body over the rocky ground. She could hear the sound of batarian voices coming from the landing zone. Picking up the pace she drug the dead krogan into the small alcove, tucking the stiff limbs in strange angles inside.

Nihlus motioned for her to move up, preparing to make the next step in their plan. Peaking around the bulky red armor that housed the Spectre, she could see human men, women, and children being herded by the armed batarians towards them and the entrance. Grabbing her arm roughly, he pulled her forward and began dragging her towards the pirates.

_Oh this is gonna be fun_, she thought with only slight sarcasm. _In a way, it was going to be fun. A true form of deceit and infiltration. Sneak in and leave with guns blazing. Now __**that's**__ a mission!_

A few of the batarians glared at them warily as they approached, but didn't raise their weapons at the guard and captive. Nihlus yanked her before him and gave her a hard shove, causing her to go sprawling forward onto her knees before the herd of slaves.

"I caught this little pyjak trying to escape," he declared gruffly in a very deep krogan voice. The batarians hesitated for a moment before one moved forward to haul her up from the ground. He motioned a red-armored arm in dismissively. "Get moving and I won't tell the boss you let one escape!" He grunted, returning to his post.

"Get back in line!" The batarian yelled as he shoved her into the group of other humans.

She stumbled forward, falling in line with the rest as they proceeded into the fortification's entrance. Nihlus gave a silent prayer to the spirits that all would go smoothly and she would remain safe until his shift ended. Not only would Saren kill him if she didn't return unharmed, but he would never forgive himself for allowing it to happen. More and more he was coming to care for her as more than a friend, even though her affections belonged to another. He was content to hide his feelings, as long as she was happy. Forcing himself to clear his mind for the duration of his shift he anxiously awaited the relief from his post.

* * *

><p>The slaves were stripped of their envirosuits and crammed into several rooms lining a hallway which was guarded at the entrance by two vorcha. The entire fortification was narrow, only branching out into a slightly wider area near the main entrance. This area seemed to house the barracks and several other rooms where the mercs spent their time. The pirates also seemed to frequent these areas during their stay. The batarians only stayed at the facility for a short time between each interval of slave deliveries, as was their discovery during scouting. It appeared they were to rest and restock before heading out for the next raid. Nihlus's plan was to hit them from the inside to prevent the pirates' access to the captives while they cleared the facility of hostiles, readying the area for the arrival of Alliance rescue vessels. It was risky, but it was the option that would cause the least amount of civilian casualties.<p>

Shepard sat in the crowded space for what seemed like hours. Every once in a while she would hear the screams and cries of women from the other cells, and it made her shudder. She knew what the pirates were capable of, but she could do nothing to help. For now, she was locked away with the other captives, unarmed. She hoped that Nihlus would make his way here soon so that she could blast these assholes to hell.

Suddenly alert, she heard the heavily armored door open. She had hoped to see a red-armored krogan with leg spurs saunter into the room, however, her stomach churned when she saw a batarian armed with a hand cannon at his hip and dressed in pirate leathers. Closing the door behind him, he glanced around the room. For a moment his sets of eyes came to rest on her and she met them with a challenging glare. Her jaw set and muscles tight, she was ready for a fight if he tried anything. The batarian turned abruptly to a dark haired woman cowering against the wall. She was visibly trembling and it brought a smile to his face. Lunging at her, he grabbed her by the hair and drug her away from a pair of sobbing children. Shepard's breath caught in her throat as the woman's cries pierced her very being. She tried to look away, to not acknowledge what was happening right before her eyes. The woman's screams grew even more frantic as the man struggled with her clothes, the only things now keeping him from his conquest. Shepard couldn't take it anymore, there was no disregarding this. To ignore what was happening in front of her would be unforgivable. Rage coursing through her, she charged after the man, knocking him from the crying woman with the force of her body. Rolling back onto her feet, she sprinted back to the frightened woman, helping her back to her family.

"You will regret your actions, human bitch!" Considering her for a moment, a lewd smile crossed his face. "You're the sneaky bitch who tried to escape. I'll show you what we do to women who try to escape," he sneered, stepping toward her.

"And I'll show you what I do to ugly fuckers who try to rape women," she growled. A surge of what felt like electricity flowed through her veins, coursing through her arms to her fingertips until they began to glow with a furious intensity. It burned like fire, scorching her from the inside out. It made it hard to concentrate. She hated using her biotics. She despised the pain they caused as they charged through her body. But without a gun or knife, they were her only weapon.

She threw the charge at the batarian, causing him to glow with a blinding blue light. Suddenly he was thrust into the air, slamming hard against the ceiling. Almost as instantly as his back touched the ceiling, he was plunged to floor with extreme force, snuffing out his life with a loud sickening thud.

She prepared to release another charge on the oncoming vorcha guards as they burst through the door. The fiery pain resurfaced with more intensity as she readied herself. Without warning the vorcha's necks were simultaneously snapped to opposite sides as red-armored hands ended their lives.

She could hear a muffled chuckle come from within the large krogan helmet as the bodies fell to the floor. "I can't leave you alone for one moment without you killing someone, can I?" he teased.

The glow from her hands instantly died down and her heart jumped into her throat. She gave him a huge smile, laced with relief. "Well damn Nihlus, if you didn't take so long I wouldn't have had to."

He laughed deep in his throat, tossing her armored envirosuit and an M8 assault rifle, both of which he had tucked away into his roomy armor. "Put that on, I'll hold them off," he ordered as he heard yells reverberating from down the hall.

As she started suiting up, Nihlus shut the door, preparing to pick off mercs and pirates through the bared viewing box.

"Are you here to rescue us?" Asked the terrified woman she had recently saved from the batarian.

She looked at her, giving her an encouraging smile. "We are. Just sit tight and we'll clear this place out of the baddies. Then you'll be safe for when Alliance rescue ships arrive."

The woman was sobbing from relief now. "Thank you. Thank you," she whispered.

Strapping on her helmet, she ran up to join Nihlus who was successfully holding back the oncoming forces. Thankfully the narrow hallway was causing a bottleneck, and the few troops who attempted to surge through it, died quickly. Many remained back, taking cover behind the opposite corners.

They had taken down many mercs and pirates and bloodied bodies littered the constricted hallway trailing into the wide area beyond. No more shots were being fired. However, they knew they weren't in the clear yet. Exiting the room they sought out any remaining enemies, taking out those who had taken cover in the barracks and mess hall with ease. After scouting every room, they were satisfied that all was clear. Shepard sent message to the Alliance rescue ships that waited patiently in the vicinity of the Antaeus cluster. _They're on their way. Now for more waiting_, she thought.

Nodding to Nihlus, they proceeded back towards the cells when they heard the gun shots. Screams and loud shouts could be heard in the furthest room. They ran full speed towards the commotion that had been coming from the room in which they originally held fort. Bursting through the door they found the batarian lying on his stomach, his arms restrained by two men who were once captives to slave trade. It was the batarian she had hit with her slam attack. Apparently she had failed to kill him.

Shepard glanced at the hand cannon that was lying on the floor, seemingly tossed to the side. She forced herself to turn her eyes towards the victims of the shots as her nausea settled in. A few were wounded, their criticality unknown. Her heart sank even further as her eyes fell on the woman she had earlier saved. Hands clasped to her chest, the blood flowed unrelentingly as her two children wailed beside her. Her gasping breaths were a painful indication that her lung had been pierced.

Though her face, behind the helmet, held the deadpan mask of a soldier her eyes told a different story. This woman was dying because she had erred. She had been too confident and it cost at least one innocent's life. Her stomach churned and her heart ached. Giving the woman a silent promise that she would not make the same mistake twice, she turned to the pirate, eyes cold and hard. Lifting her gun, she pressed the muzzle between a set of eyes and pulled the trigger. His body slumped as the two men who had been restraining him released the body and backed away quickly. She felt the weight of a hand on her shoulder. She glanced up to find Nihlus, now helmetless, with a look of understanding in his eyes.

"Let's gather what envirosuits we can find for these people," he suggested.

She nodded solemnly. They immediately set to work to gather what they could before the Alliance rescue vessels arrived.


	6. Lost and Found

**Thank you again for all of your wonderful comments! This chapter is a bit longer, but with good reason.**

**I'd also like to thank the music of Enigma for helping me to write a particular scene :)**

It was several hours before the Alliance vessels arrived at the facility. They had luckily managed to find envirosuits for everyone. The suits weren't the greatest quality, but they would get them safely to the rescue ships at least. Shepard had managed to patch up the injured, including the woman who had been pierced through the chest when the pirate had fired upon them. She would survive, for now, though she had lost quite a bit of blood. Her name, she found, was Alice. Her husband had been killed when the batarians had raided their colony and she had been captured to be sold as a slave. As it turns out, the children that accompanied her were not hers, but belonged to another couple who were also killed in the raid. Out of kindness, she had decided to take guardianship of them until they were sold and separated.

After handing over charge to the Alliance troops, Shepard and Nihlus departed Vemal to return to the Citadel. While Nihlus had been busy sending his report to the Council, she had taken a moment to write a message to Saren, informing him of their return. She couldn't wait to see him again. It had only been a few weeks since they had last been together, but it seemed like an eternity. When she heard the sound of a return message being received by her omni-tool, her heart leapt. She quickly viewed the message and frowned at the screen. He had simply written "See you soon, Shepard." _That's it?_ She thought miserably. Their last exchange had been days ago, so she was a bit taken aback that he hadn't taken the time to write more. Switching off her omni-tool, she pulled her knees up to her chest and rested her forehead on them.

Her mind drifted to the events that had taken place on Vemal. Everything had gone surprisingly well, except… She had flawed. And she continuously reminded herself as such. Due to overconfidence and being in a rush, she didn't think to make sure the batarian was dead before charging into the fray. And because of that, several innocents nearly died. Innocents she was suppose to keep from harm. She groaned into her knees.

"Am I… interrupting something?" Nihlus asked.

She raised her head to look up at the turian. His deep green eyes were filled with concern. "Not at all," she replied flatly.

"You know, you shouldn't worry about what happened back there," he said as he seated himself beside her. "We all make mistakes, and we learn from them."

"That was a fatal mistake…"

"Nobody was killed," he interjected.

She released a drawn-out sigh she had been holding back and stared at the opposite wall coolly. She nearly gasped in surprise as she felt Nihlus's arm wrap around her shoulders, drawing her close. Her body was stiff, unsure of how to react to this act of affection.

Nihlus chuckled at her rigidness. "Relax, isn't this calming to your species?"

"I suppose it is," she replied with a smile. Letting her body relax against him, she began to feel at ease. Eyes heavy she let herself sink down to rest her head in his lap.

His hand hovered over her, not quite sure how to respond. She, his friend, was in a very intimate position and it caused several lewd thoughts to flash through his mind. He could feel her shift on his lap and it caused his plates to shift involuntarily. He felt his neck heat up in slight embarrassment and shame. He prayed to the spirits that she wouldn't notice it through the layers of his casual clothes.

"You're such a good friend, Nihlus." She sighed contentedly.

Forcing his mind to clear from the erotic haze, he lowered his hand to lightly caress her hair with his palm. The pale fibers felt like silk against his skin. Looking down at her he could spot some pink marks on her shoulder, which peaked out from the strap of her shirt. Realizing what they were, his heart fell. He felt a spark of jealousy as he thought about her reuniting with Saren upon their return. It surprised him how quickly he had come to care for her after realizing his deeper feelings. He stroked the strands of her hair gently with his talons. They ran through it like water. _Friend_. He replayed the word in his head. _I suppose that's all I can be to her right now._

* * *

><p>After finally docking at the Citadel, Shepard and Nihlus went their separate ways, however, not before the smug turian reminded her of the drinks she owed him later.<p>

As she headed through the Upper Wards the aromatic scent of coffee filled her senses. Not being able to resist after going so long without, she decided to stop. She took her steaming beverage to a nearby bench and sent a quick message to Saren, informing him that she was heading to her apartment. She allowed herself to savor the remaining coffee before heading out to the Presidium.

The Presidium was bright as usual. The warm artificial sunlight was close enough to the real thing to grant her a sense of calm despite the excitement she was feeling. She couldn't wait to see Saren. It felt like it had been so long. Deep down she hoped that he wasn't having second thoughts about their relationship. Long periods of time apart would be commonplace in a relationship between two Spectres. They knew that when they allowed themselves to form a deeper bond.

Entering in the code to her apartment, she stepped inside, not at all surprised to see Saren waiting for her. Her breath caught in her throat. He was almost statuesque as he stood before her. Small rays of light that poured in from a window caught his pale plating, causing it to glimmer like polished stone. He wore fitting casual clothes, very much a similar color to his body. She wondered if he had done this on purpose to put naughty thoughts in her head. If so, it worked.

All Saren could do was stare at his returned lover. There were so many things he had to say, but now that she was standing before him, he was speechless. He wanted nothing more than to hold her and breath in her familiar scent. Sovereign was right, this woman made him weak. He would be perfect, if not for this fault. He stalked towards her, closing the gap between them. All the while his eyes never left hers. Standing before her now there was no more resisting his desires. Encircling her in his arms, he drew her as close as was physically possible. The feel of her body against him after all this time made his plates shift. However conflicting with another part of him, he wanted her to feel his desire as it grew for her; wanted her to know what she did to him and how much he had missed her. He breathed in her scent, taking in the sweet smell of flowers and… something else. The additional scent was something that sparked a mix of rage and arousal within him. It was the hormonal scent of a rival turian. _Nihlus_. It wasn't strong enough to imply she had been disloyal to him, but it was enough to know that the other Spectre wanted her; wanted _his_ mate. He growled as his mind spun in a miasma of conflicted thoughts. He knew Sovereign would reprimand him for being weak, but he wanted this. He wanted to take her violently; wanted to make love to her like it would be their last.

She cried out in surprise as she was suddenly lifted off her feet. He non-too-gently carried to the bedroom and dropped her onto the bed, quickly tearing through her clothes. His body pressed down on hers and looked down upon her, gazing into light green eyes. The blue of his eyes blazed brighter than she had ever seen and they swam with a mixture of emotions she was unable to place. She wasn't sure what had brought on this sudden violent act of desire, but she was certainly willing to comply.

His long tongue slid along the arch of her shoulder, concentrating on the marks he had placed on her. The taste of her was intoxicating. It was enough to lose himself within her.

Then he heard it. Sovereign's calm yet commanding voice echoing through his thoughts. It pierced through him, demanding of him something his very being opposed. He continued to lick at her pale skin, hesitantly bringing a taloned hand to rest on her soft neck. He was about to tear through the silken flesh when his inner thoughts overrode Sovereign's authoritative tone, pushing it back. _No!_ He chided himself. He couldn't do this. He loved her, his mate. He couldn't do this, not even for Sovereign, the superior being who had chosen _him_. But _she_ had chosen him as well. Chosen to give to him every part of her which he gladly accepted. He heard her moan under him in frustration, caressing the sensitive areas of his waist to urge him on. Lifting himself off of her yielding body, he stumbled back onto his feet. He avoided her eyes, but he could sense their questioning as she looked up at him. He felt such shame at what he had almost done. He knew that if he stayed, it would happen again. Sovereign's voice was most persuading, and he wasn't certain that he could prevent his actions the next time. The mere thought made him ill, but he had to do it. He had to leave to spare her.

"Saren...?" She whispered questionably.

"Shepard…" He started. "I cannot do this anymore." He still avoided her eyes; those eyes that he loved so dearly.

"What do you mean?" She shifted herself off the bed and closed in the distance between them. Raising her hand to caress his face, she winced as he pulled away from her touch. "Saren, what's wrong?" She demanded.

"This is wrong. Us. I can no longer suffer through it."

"What do you mean? Is it the time apart? Saren, if it is, we can pull through this. We talked about this."

"That's only part of it," he snarled. He didn't want to, but he had to push her away… somehow. Even if that meant accusing her of the things he knew in his heart were untrue. It was the only way he could assure her safety. "I smell Nihlus's scent on you Shepard. How can I trust you with him knowing that he lusts after you?"

She gasped, confusion and frustration welling up inside of her. "Wait," she said levelly, raising her hand to stop him. "You don't trust me? Saren, after all we've been through… how can you even say that?"

Her accusations pained him. He wanted to take it back, but he knew that he couldn't. This was the way it should be, no matter how much it hurt.

"This is unfair Saren!" Her voice resonated through him. "I didn't choose this, the Council did! Don't let them tear us apart! It's what they want!"

"I have already decided, Shepard. This is best for the both of us," he said, raising his eyes to finally meet hers. What he saw there broke his heart.

"Fuck you!" She screamed, visibly shaking from anger and hurt. "You don't know anything. And you apparently don't know me."

"I'm sorry, Shepard…"

She growled, shoving at him angrily. "Just go," she demanded, her voice laced with pain.

His eyes downcast, he turned and walked out, much too distraught and ashamed to say anything more. Despite not ending her life as Sovereign had insisted, he hoped that he would approve of how he handled the situation for now. He had lost the one thing he had cared most deeply about. But it still left him a chance. Someday, when Sovereign's plan unfolds and Saren has arisen to a superior status among his kind, he would get her back. He would explain to her why this had to be, and she would rejoin him as his mate. And they would live together as superior beings. This was how it should be.

* * *

><p>Shepard rarely left her apartment for over a week. She spent most of her time moping around her residence, waiting for a message of apology from Saren. None came. Whenever her omni-tool would bleep, her heart would jump. She had received messages from Nihlus, Anderson, and Alenko, all asking where she has been since her return to the Citadel. However, none of the messages were from him, and she didn't care to respond. It was over. She had to accept that, no matter how much it broke her heart.<p>

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. Jumping up from her bed, she ran to the mirror to quickly fix her hair. Sprinting to the door she held her breath as it slid open. Her heart sank and she frowned, her hopes dashed. Again, it wasn't Saren.

"Well, no need to be so happy to see me," Nihlus said, disappointed with her reaction.

"Sorry Nihlus, I was expecting someone else," she apologized miserably.

"Hmm… Saren?" He could feel his jealousy peak at the mention of her lover's name.

She nodded, visibly stricken.

"Is something wrong Shepard?"

After recapturing the events of her last night with Saren, Nihlus was at a loss for words. He was infuriated that he would hurt her like this. He wanted his rival's blood. Most of all, he wanted to console her, however he wasn't certain how she would take to physical comfort at the moment. Thinking for a moment, he came to a conclusion.

"Hey, how about we go to Flux? I'll buy you anything you want," he suggested to her.

She looked at him with sorrowful eyes and shook her head. "But I owe _you_ drinks."

He shrugged. "Another time. This time it's on me."

Giving him a weak smile, she nodded. "Just let me change my clothes first," she said looking down at her oversized t-shirt and sweatpants.

"Need my help?" Nihlus asked, giving her a mischievous turian grin.

She gave him a weak laugh. "No, I think I can manage."

* * *

><p>Flux was booming as usual. The flashing lights, the loud electronica music, and the flowing alcohol were just enough to help Shepard forget about her recent heartache. And then there was Nihlus. He was determined to help her pull through this; supplying her with as many drinks and witty comments as she could possibly want. His presence was a great comfort, and it was just what she needed.<p>

Shepard seemed back to her usual carefree self. It filled Nihlus with a great sense of pleasure to see her this way. It infuriated him that anyone could hurt her the way Saren had. His reasoning was unjust. She wasn't the disloyal type. If he couldn't see that, then he didn't deserve her.

Shepard gave him a goofy grin. "Hey, why aren't you having any of those pansy drinks?"

Nihlus's mandibles flared in a smirk. "I don't want to ruin it for when you take me out."

She laughed in response. "Oh, right."

"Shepard!" Nihlus heard a male voice call. Turning to look at the source he could see a human male he recognized as Staff Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko of the Alliance fleet, walking toward them. He served with Shepard under Captain Anderson of the Normandy. He never took his eyes off her of as he approached.

"Oh hey, Kaidan," Shepard greeted with a wave of her hand.

"How are you? You haven't responded to any of my messages," he pointed out, a bit hurt.

"Sorry, I've been busy." She looked from Kaidan to Nihlus. "Kaidan, this is Nihlus, my good friend and Spectre mentor."

Finally acknowledging the turian's presence, he turned towards him and nodded. "Nice to meet you Nihlus," he greeted.

"And you," Nihlus replied.

Turning back towards Shepard, Kaidan smiled. "If you don't mind my interrupting, Nihlus, I'd like to steal Shepard for a quick dance."

She turned toward Nihlus with a smirk. He knew she didn't want to be rude by rejecting the request of her fellow officer. Besides, maybe she'll actually enjoy herself. "By all means," Nihlus said, waving his hand in approval.

As the two humans made their way to the dance floor which was filled with people and flashing lights, Nihlus leaned back in his seat, awaiting his friend's return.

"Nihlus! Nihlus Kryik!" He heard a gruff familiar voice call his name.

He turned to see his old acquaintance Jarnus Kartarik, a C-Sec officer. "Greetings Jarnus, it's been a while."

"Certainly has!" Jarnus declared, sliding into the booth across from him. "How've you been?"

"Not bad. It's been busy, so it's good to finally have some down-time."

"I see." Jarnus leaned forward a bit. "Hey, I couldn't help but notice you have a human lady friend. I didn't know you were into that."

Nihlus's eyes widened as he considered the other turian. "We're just friends Jarnus. Besides, what's it to you?"

Jarnus shrugged. "Hey man, I'm just curious. What's it like? How does it… you know, work? I've been wondering… then I saw you with her."

Nihlus rolled his eyes. "Look, we didn't – we're just friends."

"Hmm, then I guess that human grinding against her won't bother you," Jarnus alluded, glancing at the dance floor.

Nihlus followed Jarnus's gaze to where Shepard was dancing with Kaidan. His jaw nearly dropped when he saw the human being a bit too bold in his dance techniques. Nihlus could see him grabbing at her hips, trying to pull her closer as they danced together. He growled low in his throat, forgetting Jarnus's presence, his eyes fixated on the couple on the dance floor.

Getting up from his seat, Nihlus strode towards them. He wasn't sure what he was going to do, but he knew he didn't like this human taking advantage of her intoxicated state; or maybe he was just jealous. Either way, he wanted to stop him from putting his hands on her.

When Nihlus approached them, Shepard turned all her attention to him, smiling. "Mind if I cut in?" Nihlus requested, though it sounded more like a demand.

The man's movements slowed to a halt. "Uh… well—" Kaidan hesitated.

"I don't mind," Shepard grinned sheepishly.

"Oh, well… okay. It was nice dancing with you Shepard," Kaidan said with disappointment in his voice.

"You too, Kaidan," she replied, not taking her eyes from the turian.

As Nihlus closed in on her, he could see an intensity in her eyes that made his body react. Making it worse, she encircled his waist with her hands, moving her body flush against his.

"Finally decide to dance with me, have you?" She said sweetly. "I was wondering how long it would take you."

His jaw dropped. She was waiting for him to interrupt this whole time. However, now that he had her here, he wasn't sure of what to do.

"I uh – turians don't usually dance," Nihlus stammered.

Shepard leaned into him, her lips brushing against the sensitive skin of his neck. She cooed seductively, "Then how about I teach you?"

The way she said it sounded more than an offer for dance lessons. This sent shivers up his spine. He purred, moving his arms around her slight body, "I would like that."

He groaned in frustration as she removed her body from his, giving him a mischievous grin. Her eyes considered him a moment as if trying to decide if the he was aware of her true intentions. Finally she grabbed him by the wrist, and led him out of the bustling club.

* * *

><p>As soon as they arrived at her apartment, they couldn't keep their hands off one another. Shepard's hands roamed over Nihlus's body, caressing his hard plates over his clothing as they made their way into the bedroom. Her soft tongue trailed over the hot skin of his neck. She could feel his hands moving down her back to grip her rear tightly, forcing her against him. His hardness ground against her, drawing an aroused moan from her. Shepard knew she wanted this. She needed it; and Nihlus was the only one who could give it to her. She had felt such an extreme emptiness when Saren had left her. However, Nihlus was there to pull her out of her self-wallowing; to make her realize she was still alive. And right now, she felt very much alive.<p>

Working at the fastenings of his clothing, she quickly had them removed. Her hands caressed the polished dark chest plates. She pressed her mouth against his, slipping her tongue past his hard lips. He was apparently unaccustomed to this act, but he quickly followed suit, allowing his tongue to mingle with hers. Her hands worked their way down his body, brushing against his throbbing organ. It drew an agonizing groan from him and he wanted more.

"I want to see you," he purred, tugging at her clothes.

She stepped back a bit and gave him a wicked smile. Slowly she began removing her clothing. Nihlus was amazed at how many unnecessary layers there were. The final layer appeared to be strips of cloth that seemed barely worth wearing. When she removed the top piece so that her two mounds of flesh were exposed, he couldn't help but stare. He had never seen these on any human or asari so close up before. Moving towards her, he cupped them in the palms of his hands. They were soft and firm and the simple act of his touch drew a stifled moan from her lips. This made him wonder in what other ways she was sensitive. He lightly caressed the little pink nubs with the pads of his thumbs. He was pleased to see her tilt her head back in pleasure as he did so. Guiding her down onto the bed, he hovered over her, his green eyes piercing hers with need. He leaned down toward her, slithering his rough tongue over her breast, paying special attention to the sensitive bump. Her fingers played along the underside of his fringe, driving him wild. The burning need in his groin was intense and he could think of nothing more than join with her completely. He tugged on the bottom piece of cloth that acted as a barrier between them.

"Tear it," she urged huskily.

Without another thought he cut his talons easily through the thin fabric and discarded of it remnants. Finding her mouth again with his, his tongue lapped at hers hungrily as his burning member pressed against her slit. Slowly he entered her, feeling his ridges brush against her inner walls. The intense feeling of her tightness as he sheathed himself within her made him groan in ecstasy. He could feel her legs circle around him, her velvety thighs teasing his waist. Nipping at her neck, he moved inside of her, gradually building his pace. The way she tightly constricted around him and his burning desire for her were pushing him over the edge. He knew he couldn't last much longer. He thrust into her more rapidly, growling through gritted teeth as he orgasmed.

She tightened her legs around him as she felt him come inside her. Despite his climax his pace didn't decrease. He continued to pump his rock-hard member into her, urging her to find her release. She could feel the slickness of their combined juices as they moved together as one. Crying out in pleasure, she reached her peak. Her head spun and she could feel his sharp teeth nipping at her neck in desperate heated passion.

He sat up, removing himself from her body, and to his satisfaction he heard her moan in frustration. Not yet sated, Nihlus yearned for more of his long-desired lover. Turning her onto her hands and knees, he slid into her from behind. Wrapping his arms around her waist he lifted her up so her toned back was flush against his plated chest. Moving his palms along the length of her body, he caressed her from breasts to hips. He could feel every taut muscle in her body as they flexed against his touch. He began thrusting his throbbing cock up into her at a steady pace and she eagerly met his movements.

Sliding her hands back behind his head, she caressed his fringe, leaving her body completely exposed to his roaming hands. She could feel his hot breath on her cheek and the wetness of his tongue as it darted out to lick at her. One of his hands gripped around her ribcage possessively as the other snaked down to her sex.

Careful of his talons in this area, he began rubbing with the pads of his fingers. There was a little bump there which seemed to draw her the most pleasure, so it was there he concentrated his efforts. The movement of his fingers against her clit drew excited and passionate breaths from her. She began moving on him faster, meeting his thrusts with increasing fervor.

The combination of his fingers and his large member were too much for her to bear. Crying his name between passionate moans, she came around him. She could feel his teeth as they nibbled desperately at her neck, and they clamped down as he pumped into her trembling body.

The sound of her voice calling his name in ecstasy was too much for him. He could feel himself spasm as he came inside her again. He found himself losing control as his claws gripped her torso as he spilled into her.

Finally spent, he unsheathed himself from his lover and collapsed onto the bed, bringing her with him. Cradling her under his arm, she rested her head against his plated chest and sighed with contentment. In all the times he had dreamt of this, he never believed it would be so intense. In the time to come he knew he would enjoy discovering more about his friend and new-found lover.

Shepard squirmed a bit under his arm. "I think I may need some medigel," she murmured into his chest.

Feeling his heart leap in worry, he turned to her. "What's wrong? Did I hurt you?"

"Nothing major," she replied. "Just a little scratch." She shifted, reaching in her drawer for a medigel pack. When she began applying it she heard Nihlus emit a frustrated groan.

"I'm sorry Shepard..." It was more than a "scratch", from what he saw; it was a three-taloned gouge from her ribs to her side.

"No worries," she said smiling. When she finished, she leaned forward and kissed him lightly. "I've suffered worse from krogans."

When he stared at her blankly, she arched her eyebrow, "I mean during fights, you silly turian!" She laughed, tickling her fingertips along his waist.

He chuckled and tucked her back under his arm.

Resting against him again, Shepard finally felt content. It was a welcoming change to the pain and anxiety of the past week and a half; and she couldn't think of anyone better to help her pull through it. An image of Saren flashed briefly in her mind, but she quickly dismissed it. That part of her was gone. She now had a chance to build something new with her best friend. Nihlus was there for her, when the one who was supposed to love her unconditionally abandoned her. She knew Nihlus was different. He wasn't good at following orders, not even those of the Council. She often heard him say that he never was a very good turian.


	7. Shakedown Run

**Thank you again those who have left the awesome comments and favorited this story!**

Shepard and Nihlus had just returned to the Citadel after a week-long search for a missing human cargo vessel that had lost radio contact in the Argos Rho system. They couldn't be certain what exactly had happened aboard that ship, however one thing was certain, no one was left alive. Since the cargo had appeared to be untouched, pirates were not suspected. The airlock had been left open, however. This alluded to the most likely scenario; one of the passengers had apparently killed everyone onboard, and then spaced themselves. Shepard and Nihlus made one last scan of the ship before sending the coordinates to the Alliance Fleet and returning home.

Before giving an in-person report to the Council, Nihlus made certain that he see Shepard safely to her apartment, and to her bed. It had been nearly a month since their first night together. Since then they had grown significantly close as both friends and lovers. They saw a lot of themselves in one another. As a team, they were unstoppable. They could take down any enemy. And when the guns finally ceased firing they simply enjoyed one another's company.

Before Nihlus made his way to see the Council, Shepard gave him one last lingering kiss. "Now get out of here before take you to bed for another hour," she purred.

"Yes mam," Nihlus replied, nipping at her neck. He gathered his gear, and gave her a final longing glance before heading out of her quarters.

Shepard smiled as she watched him go. It had been about a month since she heard from Saren. It surprised her how quickly Nihlus had filled the void in her heart. Stepping into the bathroom, Shepard gazed in the mirror at her naked form. Her eyes trailed over the many scars that told the story of her life. While others decorated their bodies with tattoos to signify major life occurrences, hers was adorned with these scars. She loved them all and what they stood for. She studied the most recent two. The rows of dots on her shoulder were beginning to fade to a light pink. This particular mark signified love, loss, and broken promises. Her fingers hovered over it sorrowfully. Sliding her hand downward she lightly caressed the three bright pink lines that ran from her right rib to her side. A warm smile crossed her lips as she remembered the night she received this one; her first night with Nihlus. Passion, friendship, love; this one she treasured above all others.

Suddenly, Shepard heard her omni-tool beep, cruelly interrupting her thoughts. Retrieving it from the table, she flicked on the screen to peer at the message. It was from Captain Anderson. He wanted to meet with her in his office, immediately.

"Must be important," she said out loud. Quickly slipping into an Alliance uniform, she dashed out the door.

* * *

><p>"Commander Shepard, thank you for coming on such short notice," Anderson said as he and Shepard saluted one another. "I know you and Nihlus have just recently arrived on the Citadel, however the Council has informed me that we are to depart on the Normandy within two days time. It seems that they are adamant about testing the Normandy's stealth system and have funded a shakedown mission to Eden Prime. The Council has requested that you and Nihlus be aboard for this mission."<p>

"Of course, Captain. However, I can't help but suspect there is more to this than you are telling me."

"You will be briefed on any additional information after we depart on the Normandy."

"Of course, sir."

"You are dismissed Commander. I will see you aboard the Normandy." Anderson said with a departing salute.

Shepard nodded and gave him a final salute in return before turning on her heals to make her exit.

"And Shepard…" he started before she reached the door. "Keep up the good work."

Shepard turned to see the fatherly smile on his face to which she had grown accustomed these past few years. Returning the smile, she made her way out.

* * *

><p>Upon hearing of their close proximity to the mass relay, Shepard determinately made her way to the cock pit. It would be the Normandy's first official pass through the relay, and she would be damned if she missed it. She smiled when she had seen Nihlus already standing a distance away behind Kaidan. Having already caught her scent, Nihlus turned to give her a nod as she entered. Coming to stand behind Jeff "Joker" Moreau, she watched as they quickly approached the relay.<p>

"Hitting the relay in 3… 2… 1…" Joker counted down as he guided the Normandy to the relay core. As soon as the vessel hit the core, they were engulfed in light, and before they knew it they were in the Utopia system.

"Thrusters… check. Navigation… check. Internal emissions sync engaged. All systems online. Drift… just under 1500k."

"1500 is good, your Captain will be pleased," Nihlus offered. Before stepping out of the cockpit he gave Shepard an amused turian grin.

"I hate that guy," Joker grumbled.

Kaidan turned to Joker and frowned. "Nihlus gave you a complement, so… you hate him."

"You remember to zip up your jumpsuit on the way out of the bathroom, _that's_ _good_. I just jumped us halfway across the galaxy and hit the target the size of a pinhead. So that's incredible!" Joker exclaimed. "Besides, Spectres are trouble. I don't like having them onboard. Call me paranoid."

"I think you're forgetting Joker, I've been training with Nihlus to become a Spectre," Shepard reminded him.

"Yes, but at least you I can trust to not shoot me out of necessity," Joker responded.

"Don't be so sure," Shepard mused.

The terminal comm crackled and Anderson's voice sounded off. "Joker, status report."

"Just cleared the mass relay, Captain. Stealth systems engaged, everything looks solid."

"Good, find us a comm buoy and link us into the network. I want mission reports relayed back to Alliance brass before we reach Eden Prime."

"Aye aye Captain. Better brace yourself, sir. I think Nihlus is headed your way," Joker warned.

"He's already here, Lieutenant." Anderson's voice sounded irritated. "Tell Commander Shepard to meet me in the comm room for a debriefing."

"You get that Commander?" Joker asked.

"Great. You piss the Captain off and now I'm going to pay for it," Shepard said with mock accusation.

"Pfft, don't blame me! The Captain is always in a bad mood," Joker pointed out.

"Only when he's talking to you, Joker," Kaidan retorted.

Shepard turned from the cockpit and made her way to the comm room, stopping only to briefly speak with Navigator Pressly, Doctor Chakwas, and Corporal Jenkins. It seemed like everyone had been kept in the dark about why they were really sent on this mission, though they all had their suspicions. Finally entering the comm room, she was met with Nihlus's piercing green eyes. A smirk crossed her lips and she moved up to him, reaching up her hand to let her fingers lightly caress over his face.

"So where is Captain Anderson? Or are we alone for a while?" She purred.

Nihlus chuckled, enjoying her insistence. "He'll be here _soon_."

She gave him a fake pout and took a few steps back in case Anderson decided to step out of the shadows.

"So, this world… Eden Prime," Nihlus began. "What do you know of it?"

"Not much," Shepard replied. "But I hear it's beautiful."

"I've heard that too. But is it safe? The galaxy has its dangers, Shepard, and I'm afraid human colonies are not immune to them."

"What do you mean Nihlus?" Shepard demanded, not much appreciating the dodging remark.

Captain Anderson stepped into the room, making his way towards Shepard and Nihlus. "I think it's about time we tell the Commander what's really going on."

"Yes, please do," Shepard said.

"A research team, on Eden Prime has unearthed some type of beacon. This beacon, as it turns out, is of Prothean technology."

"The Protheans? But they died out 50,000 years ago!" Shepard exclaimed in disbelief.

"Yes, but their legacy still remains," Nihlus interjected. "The mass relays, the Citadel, our ship drives; they're all based on Prothean technology."

"This is big Shepard!" Anderson proclaimed. "Last time humanity made a discovery like this it jumped our technology forward two hundred years. We need to get the beacon secured and onto the ship so it can be transported to the Citadel immediately. That's where you and Nihlus come in."

Suddenly Joker's voice rang over the comm system, sounding slightly shaken. "Sir, we're getting transmission from Eden Prime. I think you need to see this."

"Patch it through Joker," Anderson commanded.

The video came through as patchy and unclear, but one thing was certain, Eden Prime was under attack by an unknown force. They paused the transmission on an image of a ship that made Shepard's skin crawl. It looked like a giant insect, with moving appendages, descending upon its prey. Never before had she seen a ship look so alive. It was unreal. They had to get there, fast. But it would be a couple of hours before they could reach the planet.

_Just have to keep ourselves occupied until then_, Shepard thought. She glanced at Nihlus thoughtfully. She knew this wasn't the time or place to be thinking of such things. However, they were charging head-on to fight the unknown. Who knew how this would end.

* * *

><p>Kaidan fumbled around in the dim of the med bay in search of some migraine medication. Dr. Chakwas was nowhere in sight, so it was up to him to find it in the mass of pill containers. Where was the doctor when you needed her? Suddenly he heard a <em>bump<em>, which sounded strangely like a body hitting against a solid surface. The sudden sound nearly made him scatter the medication bottles everywhere. He ceased his searching and listened intently for any following noises. Moving towards the back room of the med bay he could make out some rustling noises as well as a woman's moans mixed with what resembled male growls. Almost completely aware of what was occurring on the other side of the door he arched an eyebrow suspiciously. _Men don't typically growl…_ Kaidan thought to himself.

"Oh Nihlus…" Kaidan heard the woman between gasps.

_Nihlus? _Kaidan didn't know what to think about this. There were definitely no turian women aboard the Normandy, so that meant that Nihlus was definitely having sex with a _human_ woman. He didn't know it was even possible, due to the differences. He was really curious as to what woman aboard the Normandy could have caught the turian's attentions. _Chakwas_ was nowhere to be found…

_Maybe Nihlus has a thing for mature human women_, Kaidan thought with a smirk. _If so, the 'ol doc still has some life in her._

Forgetting about his meds he returned to his post across from the med bay. _I'll just stick it out here for a bit and see who comes out of that room. Awesome idea, Kaidan! _He congratulated himself.

Kaidan waited for nearly thirty minutes before he heard the med bay doors open. From here, he had a clear vantage to see exactly who the deviant woman was. The suspense was killing him. First he saw the turian walk out of the room, still straightening some pieces of armor. Then the woman appeared close behind him. The woman was… _Shepard_?

Kaidan nearly hit the floor. Were the powers of the universe playing a cruel joke on him? The woman he most wanted was fucking a _turian_? Suddenly he remembered back to the night at Flux. How the turian rudely cut into Kaidan's dance with Shepard. The way they looked at each other. The way they suddenly left the club. It all made sense. All he could do was stare at the couple as they left the med bay as he hid in the shadows.

He wondered what she saw in the turian. What did a turian have that he didn't? He groaned in frustration. His headache was beginning to get much worse.

* * *

><p>Kaidan plopped into the co-pilot's chair and slumped back miserably. He could feel Joker's eyes on him.<p>

"Why so glum, chum?" Joker inquired almost too happily.

"Nothing, Joker," Kaidan replied flatly.

"Hey! I know something that will cheer you up. Some niiiice juicy gossip!" Joker exclaimed.

"No thanks Joker, I'm not in the mood," Kaidan warned.

"No no, c'mon this is great!" Joker insisted. Lowering his voice to just above a whisper he leaned toward Kaidan. "Our Commanderis screwing _Nihlus_! They were getting down in the med bay. Right across from your post, as a matter of fact," he declared as if pleased with himself. When Kaidan met this with a blank stare he continued. "You know, _Nihlus_, the turian? Mr. 'I'm too cool for you' Spectre?" He made some obscene hand gestures.

"I know who he is, Joker," Kaidan said, his irritation growing. "Besides, how do you know this?" Kaidan wasn't certain how he had found out so soon, but he could definitely wager a guess.

"Oh I got it all on video, wanna see?" Joker said casually as he pushed a few buttons on his console.

"No, Joker!" Kaidan said, leaping over the equipment to stop him.

"Dude it's hot! It's like Beauty and the Beast sex!" Joker continued to bring up the video with one hand while fending off his assailant with the other.

"Joker, you shouldn't do this! It's not appropria- whoa," Kaidan gasped, as he caught a glimpse of the screen.

Joker laughed. "Yeah I thought you'd see it my way."

Kaidan moved in closer to get a better view of the screen. He felt dirty watching this behind Shepard's back, but he couldn't help it as curiosity got the better of him.

"The dude is hung like an ox!" Joker exclaimed in awe. He threw his hands up defensively as Kaidan shot him a dirty look.

"What are you guys watching?" Shepard said from a distance behind them.

Kaidan nearly fell over in shock as he heard her voice. Joker, on the other hand, calmly switched off the screen and turned to the Commander. It was if he was use to getting caught in these situations.

"Oh nothing Commander, just showing Kaidan a few _techniques_," Joker said with a smirk.

Shepard glared at him suspiciously but didn't have time to push the issue. "Alenko, suit up. We'll be landing on Eden Prime shortly," she commanded.

"Y-yes Commander," he said nervously. He watched as she walked out of the cockpit entrance, the dreamy look on his face not lost on the pilot beside him.

"Someone's got a crush on the Commander," Joker sang.

Kaidan turned to the pilot and gave him a shove.

"Hey hey, chill. Anyway, you heard the Commander, you better get moving!" Joker urged. "Besides, I need some alone-time."

"You're disgusting."

"Pfft. Like you wouldn't."


	8. Serpent of Eden

As the Normandy began its decent on Eden Prime, the ground team was busy prepping gear and weapons. Jenkins seemed antsy to get moving as he was fidgeting with his gear and bobbing on the balls of his feet. While he and Kaidan were busy doing a final inspection of their weapons, Nihlus pulled Shepard to the side. "When we land, I'm going to scout on ahead of you. I don't have a good feeling about this," Nihlus told her.

Shepard frowned at him. "That's all the more reason we should stick together."

"No Shepard. I want to make sure that we know what we're heading into. We'll keep radio contact the entire time," he assured her.

"Just be careful Nihlus." Shepard's voice was filled with concern.

"I will be. But, I don't want you caught unawares down there." He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into a close embrace. He breathed deeply, taking in her scent. He held onto it, as he held onto the warmth of her body, wanting to remember the smell and feel of her. If anything were to happen to her, he wouldn't be able to bear it. She was the one thing that truly mattered to him, above all else, quickly becoming the only family he would recognize in this messed up universe.

As they pulled themselves from their warm embrace, he caught a fiery glare from the human male, Kaidan. However, he quickly shrugged it off, concentrating all his attention on the woman before him. He looped his fingers into hers, giving her hand a gentle squeeze. "Be ready for anything Shepard."

She nodded squeezing his hand in return. Their eyes lingered on one another's longer than intended until Anderson's voice broke through their trance.

"Shepard. Nihlus. We've approached the drop point. It's time to move out," Anderson informed them.

Tearing their eyes from their gaze they headed back to join Anderson, Alenko, and Jenkins just as the hatch was sliding open. The sound of the wind whirled and roared in their ears and Anderson had to raise his voice over it to be heard by the ground team.

"Remember Shepard, the beacon is your first priority, survivors come second." Anderson ordered.

"Yes sir!" Shepard replied over the thunderous wind.

"Nihlus you coming with us?" Jenkins asked the turian as he moved up to the open hatch.

"I'm going to scout on ahead," Nihlus replied, giving Shepard a final glance before disappearing out the rear of the ship.

Once on ground Shepard had taken a quick moment to observe their surroundings. The planet was beautiful and lush and the atmosphere held a reddish hue, closely resembling an ember sunset. Various spires of architecture jutted from the landscape piercing into the clouds. It was a quite impressive and fine example of humanity's ability to expand their colonies across the traverse.

"What the hell are those?" Kaidan motioned toward some strange floating bulbous creatures.

"Gas bags," Jenkins informed him. "They're harmless. Just don't stand too close if they get caught in the crossfire."

The creatures floated carelessly, their strange tentacled limbs dangling from their core body structure. The gas filled membrane that rested atop the more solid flesh appeared delicate and easily punctured. Taking Jenkins words into deep consideration, Shepard was sure to avoid leading the team too close to the interesting creatures.

Shepard could hear Nihlus's voice crackle through the comm. "This place got hit hard Shepard. Keep your guard up."

As they proceeded, something up ahead caught Shepard's attention. Signaling the others to hold position she intently scanned the area. Nothing stirred, however it wouldn't be wise to let their guard down. She signaled to proceed with caution. Kaidan took caution and edged forward carefully, keeping behind cover while Jenkins moved on ahead, following the path. Suddenly a pair of gleaming lights came into view and before Shepard could make a move to take them out, they fired at Jenkins.

"Jenkins!" Shepard shouted as the young Corporal staggered and fell to the ground. Keeping behind the cover of a large boulder, Shepard drew out her sniper. Peering through the scope, she observed the enemy to be some sort of drone. She took the shot and the drone exploded with a _pop _and a crackle of electricity.

Kaidan hit the other drone with a Sabotage. The synthetic's guns backfired and it fell to the ground with the pieces of its companion. When the hostiles were cleared they charged toward Jenkins, only to discover they had already lost a squad mate. Shepard's heart felt heavy as she looked upon the body of the rookie marine. Kaidan bent down beside the young man and moved a hand over his face to lid his lifeless eyes. As he stood he shot Shepard a sorrowful glance.

"Ripped right through his shields. Never stood a chance," Kaidan observed sadly.

"As soon as we complete the mission we'll ensure he receives a proper burial," Shepard assured him.

"Aye aye Commander."

The remaining pair proceeded forward on the path. They encountered slight opposition on the way as more drones appeared, however they were quickly taken out. Nihlus's voice hummed in her ears again.

"I've got some burned out buildings here Shepard, and a lot of bodies," he informed her. "I'm going to check it out, and I'll try to catch up with you at the dig site."

"Okay Nihlus," she replied. "Stay alert."

Pushing on ahead they heard an exchange of gunfire. Signaling Kaidan to keep behind her, she edged up carefully until the scene came into view. She could see a few geth, restraining a human man over a strange contraption. The man appeared dazed as his eyes darted around in confusion. A female soldier ducked behind some metal crates, but the geth paid her no heed as they held onto the man, only releasing him when a spike abruptly shot up from the contraption, piercing him through the torso. Shepard could feel a sickening knot churn in her stomach, and without another thought she charged forward to take cover beside the woman, with Kaidan in tow. The three soldiers quickly took out the synthetics, but they still needed to make it to the beacon, and fast.

Shepard turned to the woman. "What's your name soldier?"

After attempting to catch her breath, the woman turned her eyes toward Shepard in relief. "Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams of the 212. Are you the one in charge here, mam?"

Shepard simply nodded in reply. "Any idea why the geth attacked here?"

"I can't be certain mam, but I think they came for the beacon. The dig site is close. Just over that rise," Ashley said, pointing towards an area ahead.

"We could certainly use your help Williams."

"Aye aye mam. It's time for payback!" Ashley said with venom in her voice.

The reformed team quickly made their way to the dig site. However, to their dismay, the beacon was nowhere to be found. Ashley suggested that it may have been moved at some point, though she couldn't be certain by whom. They decided to press on to the research camp. Following the path that wound up the hill on the other side of the dig site, the camp soon came into view. However they were met by a cluster of spiked contraptions that resembled the one they had seen kill a man.

"Shepard," Nihlus's voice came through the comm, "I see a spaceport up ahead. I'll meet you there. I suspect that's where the beacon will be."

"Okay," Shepard responded. "Just watch your back, there are a lot of geth lurking about."

"Will do Shepard. I'll see you when you get to the spaceport. From there we can secure the beacon and get off this rock." She could make out a bit of longing in his voice and sympathized. She couldn't wait to leave here either. The thought of pulling through this hellhole to finally return to the warmth of his embrace was enticing enough. She had to press on.

When they reached the camp, they had quickly discovered why the geth had been lancing the humans on the stake-like contraptions. They had transformed them into soulless half-human half-synthetic beings. The groans of the undead filled their ears as they charged at the team, existing now only to destroy. They shot them down, one by one, but they continued to come in droves.

* * *

><p>Nihlus made his way to the shipping platform quietly. He could see someone meandering about the area; another turian. The turian's scent was familiar, but Nihlus didn't want to take any chances before he could be certain. He quickly pressed forward, keeping his gun pointed towards the individual. As he moved in closer he could make out the familiar pale barefaced features.<p>

"Saren!" Nihlus uttered the name, surprised to see his former mentor.

Saren turned to the younger turian, his teeth displayed in a grin. "Nihlus," he said pleasantly.

Lowering his weapon Nihlus glared at him. "This isn't your mission Saren. What are you doing here?"

Saren paused as the nostalgic scent of flowers filled his senses. He could feel his body grow calm as he breathed in the sweet scent, _her_ scent. "Where is Shepard?" he purred as a flood of thoughts and emotions flowed through him.

Nihlus growled low in his chest as he heard her name emitted from the mouth of her former lover. "She's not here, Saren," he replied bitingly. There was no way he was about to tell him that she was on her way.

Saren snarled menacingly, stepping toward the other turian in challenge. He took in a deep breath as he stood inches away from Nihlus. Her scent was strong, and fact that it lingered on this other turian filled him with an intense darkness. "Why, Nihlus, do you carry her scent on you?" Saren's eyes were filled with a murderous rage as he accosted his rival.

"Saren, this isn't the time!" Nihlus snapped. He couldn't understand why he was confronting him about this, especially now, surrounded by danger. "You abandoned her Saren. She's moved on."

Saren shot him a grin that was laced with hatred and pity. He considered the younger turian for a moment, his cybernetic eyes burning brightly. "Do truly know what it is to _love_, Nihlus?"

At the mention of the word, an image appeared in his thoughts; an image of the pale-haired human woman for whom he deeply cared. She was his best friend, and his lover. To lose her would mean losing a piece of himself; the piece that made him whole. Shepard, in all of her fierceness and everything that made her who she was, he could no longer imagine life without her. He did _love _her, and he resolved to make that point clear to her as soon as they got off this rock.

Turning from Saren, he looked out over hill from where Shepard would arrive at any moment, guns blazing. In his mind he could see her victorious smile and gentle eyes as she fought her way towards his location. "Yes, Saren. I do know what it is to _love_," Nihlus concluded with a toothy grin.

"Then you'll understand that I cannot let you have her," Saren growled coldly, lifting his gun to aim at the younger turian's back.

Sensing the gun at his back, he knew there was no avoiding this fight with his former friend and mentor. One of them would _not_ be leaving here alive, and he prayed to the spirits it would be Saren. "Forgive me Shepard..." Nihlus whispered, hoping she would somehow hear him, as he readied his gun.

* * *

><p>Shepard could hear a gunshot echo through the air somewhere up ahead. She was suddenly met with a bitter wave of nausea. Swallowing it down she righted herself. <em>Whatever it is, Nihlus can handle it<em>, she chided her worried thoughts.

Moving forward they could see the shipping platform which was crawling with geth. Surrounding the platform stood more of the spikes that produced the human "husks". On the floor of the platform she could make out a dark figure. Squinting against the sunlight she could make out a turian figure lying on the platform. Then it struck her like a knife to the heart.

"Nihlus!" Shepard cried out, paying no heed to the ramifications of her outburst.

The geth on and surrounding the platform turned in their direction and immediately began firing. Kaidan, taking note of his Commander's distraught frame of mind, pulled her behind the large rock that acted as their cover. He could see she was shaking in both shock and fury. Her eyes held a cold dead stare as she tried to comprehend what she had seen.

"Commander, get a hold of yourself!" Kaidan demanded, shaking her shoulders roughly enough to get her attention.

She turned her eyes to her comrade. Those eyes which were just previously filled with horror and shock, quickly turned into a inexpressible rage. Grabbing her assault rifle she jumped to her feet, carelessly out of the cover of the boulder.

"Commander what are you-" Kaidan started, grabbing for her. However, his hand grasped only dead space as she charged toward the synthetic troops.

"Commander!" Ashley shouted. "What is she doing?" She directed her question at the Lieutenant.

Kaidan had no answer. He had never seen her like this. Reaching for his gun, he knew all he could do was cover her. Moving out of the safety of the rock he could see her determinately pressing toward the enemy, an intense blue glow emanating from the hands that gripped her firing gun. The glow coursed over her entire body as it fortified her shields. He had no idea the Commander was a biotic. Never had he seen her use them as she stuck strictly to guns and knives. However, he had no time to think on it further. He pressed forward, Ashley coming up beside him, to take out what enemies they could.

Shepard's mind whirled in a tempest of turmoil. She was unable to think clearly. She only knew she had to get to Nihlus and she was going to kill anything that got in her way. Her veins seared like molten lava as her biotics flared. A husk that had charged her head-on found itself ripped to shreds by a bolt of blue energy and several others found themselves riddled with bullets from her vengeful assault rifle. She made her way to the stairs, bullets beginning to penetrate her fortification. Two remaining geth stood between her and Nihlus. She launched a Throw at one and it slammed into the wall with such a force that pieces had flown in several directions. The second geth continued to shoot at her relentlessly. Several shots rang out behind her and the geth was down, however she was too livid to notice.

Shepard quickly knelt beside Nihlus's unmoving form, tearing off her gloves to touch him. Deep blue blood poured out from under him and he didn't stir when her hands grasped his face.

"Nihlus? Nihlus, wake up." Shepard pleaded to him. She was desperate to see some kind of movement; a flicker of an eyelid, a twitch of his mandibles, anything. She felt a hand touch her shoulder, but she violently shrugged it away. She wanted no pity, no comfort. She only wanted Nihlus, but he refused to open his eyes.

"Give me some medigel!" Shepard shouted as she lifted Nihlus a bit to place a hand on his wounded back.

"Commander, it's not going to help... he's-" Kaidan protested.

"Just do it Lieutenant!" Shepard commanded impatiently and desperately. As she caressed her lover's cheek, her eyes roamed over his almost peaceful face. She took in each white design that made up his clan marking, memorizing it. She could no longer see nor feel the strong spirit that she had held so dearly, and the realization hit her hard. She could feel a stabbing pain in her heart and every breath she drew caused a burning sensation that coursed throughout her body. A combination of nausea and despair shook her as she realized that Nihlus was gone. Taking his insignia from his body, she gripped it tightly and rose to her feet. A wetness stung her eyes, but she didn't weep. That she would save for a time of solitude.

"Commander, I'm sorry..." Kaidan said sincerely, placing a hand on her shoulder again.

Tearing her eyes from her fallen turian lover, she simply nodded at the Lieutenant and Gunnery Chief. "Move out," Shepard ordered firmly, desperately trying to keep her voice from shaking.

"Wait! Who's there?" Ashley demanded, raising her gun to aim at the stacked crates.

"Don't shoot! Please!" cried a male voice from behind the crates. A human man rose up from his cover, hands raised above his head. Shepard resisted every urge to shoot the man on sight. Consumed by her own disdain, she was more than ready to suspect anyone in the vicinity of having involvement in Nihlus's death, and make them pay. "I know who killed your friend," the man told her.

"Start talking!" Shepard said, aiming her assault rifle at the frightened human.

"H-he was another t-turian," he stammered. Your friend called him Saren."

"Saren?" Shepard asked in disbelief.

"Yeah Saren," the man reaffirmed shakily. "I couldn't hear everything they were saying but they seemed to know each other." He paused for a moment, trying to calm his nerves.

"Go on," Shepard urged impatiently.

"They seemed to be having a disagreement and this Saren held a gun to your friend's back. Before he could turn to engage in a fair fight, he shot him!" he exclaimed with a shake of his head.

Shepard couldn't fathom what this could mean. She hadn't heard from Saren for a month and now she'd learned that he ruthlessly killed Nihlus. She needed answers, but she definitely wasn't going to get them standing around here. "We need to find him. Where is he?" she demanded. It was clear to see that her eyes thirsted for blood.

"I-I saw him heading for the spaceport," the man answered nervously.

"Move out!" Shepard shouted as she stormed towards the area leading to the spaceport. She needed to find Saren and find out what was going on, and she had no intention of letting him survive the encounter. He was going to pay.

* * *

><p>They fought their way through hordes of geth as they made route to the spaceport. On the way they found that the geth had been laying armed bombs. Shepard ordered the Gunnery Chief to disarm the bombs while she and Kaidan shot the shit out of the geth that stood in their way. She could have been quicker than Ashley about disarming the bombs, however, she was not the right state of mind and could only concentrate on killing. Right now she was more than happy to blow the heads off of a bunch of geth. She found herself occasionally using her biotics, the pain being a faint deterrent from her sorrow.<p>

Finally, when Ashley has disarmed the last bomb, they found the spaceport, but no Saren. The spaceport was empty aside from a few littered synthetic bodies and the beacon. Shepard felt the rage well up inside her, wanting even more to tear Saren to pieces with her bare hands. He was running like a coward. Swallowing her dark thoughts temporarily, she radioed the Normandy, informing Anderson that they had secured the beacon and were ready for pickup.

While the Commander made her call to the Normandy, Kaidan decided to get a slightly closer look at the beacon. It was awe-inspiring. He hadn't come in contact with many Prothean artifacts before, especially not any in this great of shape. He saw a faint glow being emitted from the object. Taking a few steps closer to get a better look, he felt a sort of magnetic pull grab him, forcing him gradually closer. The force became so strong he was unable to escape it as it drew him in and he became anxious. Suddenly he felt two strong arms hoist him off the ground, tossing him to the side. His head snapped up to see Shepard now caught in the force in his place.

"Shepard!" Kaidan shouted. He tried to bolt to her rescue but Ashley held him back. All he could do was watch as his Commander was lifted off her feet, her body spamming as if met with an electric current. Then, the beacon exploded with a flash of green light, with a force that knocked Shepard to the ground. Kaidan threw himself to her side, checking for her vitals; she was alive but unconscious. He silently prayed for the Normandy to get here soon.

* * *

><p>The asari approached Saren, who sat in deep contemplation as he fingered a metal tag attached to a chain. He studied it intently, seemingly oblivious to the asari's presence. She cleared her throat before she spoke, gently bringing Saren from his thoughts.<p>

"We identified the ship that touched down on Eden Prime," she stated. "The Normandy, a human Alliance vessel. It was under the command of Captain Anderson."

To him the presence of Nihlus _and_ Captain Anderson on Eden Prime could only mean one thing. Shepard _was _there. That bastard turian had lied to him to keep her from him. But he paid for his lies. However, he missed the chance to reunite with his mate, to convince her to join him in his cause. He was certain, with the death of Nihlus, he would have more chances for that later. If Shepard knew of his involvement in her young turian lover's death, she would certainly pursue him for answers. Until then he needed to move on. The tasks Sovereign had entrusted him with were the only things keeping his mind intact. As long as Saren proved useful, Sovereign wouldn't be inclined to break him as he had done countless others.

"What of the beacon?" Saren asked the asari.

"One of the humans may have used it," she answered calmly.

Saren growled, intense feelings of rage sweeping over him. His eyes studied the shiny metal tag one last time before tucking it away. He hoped to the spirits that it wasn't Shepard who had used the beacon. He knew it would either destroy her or warn her of the Reapers. Without him to explain to her the circumstances, she would act brashly, convincing the Council to enact war with the Reapers. He couldn't let that happen. Storming up to the asari he wrapped his clawed hands around her scrawny blue neck and glared at her with deadly ferocity.

"You bring me this human… _alive_." Saren growled, backing away from her gaze. If Shepard was the human in question, he needed more than ever to bring her to his side. He couldn't allow her to find the conduit before him.

* * *

><p>Shepard woke in the med bay. Her head was spinning and her vision was blurry. She could hear footsteps approaching her and it filled her with unexplainable irritation. She just wanted to be left alone.<p>

"You had us worried there Shepard," Doctor Chakwas told her. "How are you feeling?"

"Like shit," Shepard responded flatly.

"You've been out for about fifteen hours," Chakwas said. "Something happened down there, with the beacon I think."

"It's my fault," Kaidan's voice chimed in behind Shepard. "I must've triggered some kind of security field when I approached it. You had to push me out of the way."

"You should have been more careful, Lieutenant," Shepard bit out at him ignoring the hurt expression on his face. She didn't care. She didn't care about anything right now. She hurt, and whoever was around better be prepared to feel her wrath.

"Do you remember anything, Shepard? About the beacon?" Chakwas pressed. "You were experiencing some abnormal brainwaves and an increase in your rapid eye movement, often associated with dreaming."

"I don't want to talk about it," Shepard replied darkly. "I need to speak with Captain Anderson."

The doctor nodded. "Shepard... if you need to talk you know where to find me," she told her before leaving to fetch the Captain.

"I'll be available as well, if you ever need to... you know, talk." Kaidan hesitated for a moment, waiting for a response. When he didn't receive one he left her alone to return to his post.

**This was a tough chapter for obvious reasons. Certain parts were painful to write but I knew it had to be done. Pleanty more angst to come very shortly! I've been thinking about this a lot and need to get my ideas down, so the next few chapters may come out rather quickly.**


	9. Guardian Angel

**Sorry if too many notifications were sent on this chapter upload. I was having issues!  
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**Here's another chapter already. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it! I'll definitely be seeing this story through til the end (and possibly through ME2 as I have some plans there) as if I don't finish I may suffer the wrath of some readers ;)**

**Let me know what you think!**

Since the Normandy's return to the Citadel, Shepard found herself frequenting Chora's Den. Everything since the events at Eden Prime had been complete bullshit. Nihlus was gone and the Council thought she was bat-shit crazy, ranting about their beloved Saren going rogue. Her chances of becoming a Spectre were probably slim as hell now. She hoped to make Nihlus proud by continuing his legacy, but now that was shot to shit. Both Saren and the Council scoffed at her claims making her feel like complete and utter trash. No tears would come since Eden Prime, so she took to distracting herself the only way she knew how. She chose Chora's Den for its harshness and dark atmosphere. She also didn't want to take any chances of running into anyone she knew at Flux. She wasn't ready to face anyone. Shepard felt as if half of her soul had died on Eden Prime, and she wanted nothing more than to drown the remaining half in booze. Gripping Nihlus's insignia in her hand, a part of her wished she could feel him through it. She felt nothing. Downing the rest of her drink, Shepard motioned to the bartender for another.

"Don't you think you've had enough so early in the evening, human?" came a gruff voice to her right.

Shepard turned narrowed eyes to find a scarred, crimson-eyed krogan smirking at her. "Fuck off," she murmured bitterly.

The krogan gave her a hearty laugh, slapping her on the back. "Is that any way to treat someone who's paying your tab?"

She arched her eyebrow at him. "You'll have to get me a lot drunker than this to sleep with _you_," she slurred, pointing at her empty glass.

The krogan laughed again, clearly amused. "Sorry, I don't do humans. Actually, I had something a bit different in mind..."

"Oh really?" She asked, waving impatiently to get the bartender's attention. "Common! I'm not gonna wait here all day! The service here sucks!" she declared looking back at the krogan.

"You're Commander Shepard, aren't you?" the krogan observed.

"Yeah, so? Who the hell are you?"

"Name's Wrex. Urdnot Wrex. I've been hired to take out a rather shady individual who hides behind an assload of bodyguards. I could certainly use some help from someone such as you, and it pays well."

"Why me?" Shepard asked suspiciously.

"I hear you got quads Shepard," Wrex told her with a deep chuckle. "Some people say you shot another human in cold blood, right here in this club. _And_ in front of C-Sec!"

Shepard gave him a dangerous smirk. "Right between the eyes," she said, making gun-trigger finger motions at the krogan.

"Haha! I thought so," Wrex burst out.

"So who is this guy?" Shepard inquired.

"His name's Fist," he responded nonchalantly. "He's a known crime lord and a coward. If you're up for it, you know where to find me."

Shepard nodded in affirmation, watching the krogan strut away with a strong air of confidence. She smiled defiantly as a bit of anticipation welled up inside her. This was just what she needed. The thought of shooting up some cowardly rich fucker and his body guards was enticing as hell. However, her smile instantly faded when she realized her drink hadn't been refilled.

"That bitch is probably ignoring me on purpose," she grumbled to herself. Suddenly she felt a pang of irritation as her omni-tool beeped. Her eyes narrowed at the message. It was from the turian Councilor, requesting a meeting with her right away. "What the fuck does he want?"she wondered aloud, bitterly.

She considered erasing the message and denouncing the Council altogether. What right did _they _have to interrupt _her_ personal time? He probably wanted to brag about her Spectre fuckup and remind her how "humans need to learn their place". Yeah well, she was going to give him a piece of her mind. That turian could shove his Spectres and pet Saren up his ass. Sure, she was drunk, certainly in no position to be paying a visit to her "superiors", but the Councilor could kiss her ass.

"Hey waitress! Can I at least pay my tab?" Shepard shouted to the woman.

"It's already taken care of," the waitress yelled back.

"Looks like the krogan is good on his word," Shepard said aloud with a smirk.

* * *

><p>Shepard left for the turian Councilor's office directly from Chora's Den. She was in no mood to care about what he thought of her. Just one more excuse for the Council to hate humans. She knew she probably looked like hell. She wore a faded black tank top and ragged camo pants and her boots were unlaced due to lack of care. She hadn't gotten much sleep the past few days so she assumed she had dark circles under her eyes and her short blonde hair was in complete disarray.<p>

As she approached the turian Councilor's office door, the two guards regarded her with uncertain glances.

"I'm here to see the Councilor," Shepard spat. "_He _requested my presence."

"Commander Shepard?" the one turian guard asked bewildered.

"Yeah," she replied, crossing her arms impatiently.

"Go right in," he said, opening the door for her to pass through.

As she entered the spotless office she could see the Councilor's head shoot up from the paperwork on his desk. His expression was one of shock as he regarded her with intense green eyes. His eyes were of similar color to Nihlus's and it pissed her off even more. She came to stand before his desk, her arms crossed as cocked her hip in a very un-militaristic stance.

"Commander Shepard," the Councilor greeted her. "Thank you for coming on such short notice." He sniffed the air, the smell of alcohol invading his senses. "I hope I didn't interrupt a party."

"Nope," She said flatly.

"Hmm…" He rose from his chair and began to pace away from his desk. "I just wanted to express to you my condolences regarding Nihlus's death. He was a superb Spectre, and I know you two were close."

"How would you know?" Shepard bit out irritably.

"I'm a turian, Shepard. It's easy to tell," the Councilor responded.

His arrogance enraged her and she shifted to her other leg, regarding him with narrowed eyes. "So why did you really ask me here?" She was becoming extremely impatient.

"Ever the observant one, aren't you Shepard," he said, flashing his teeth in a grin. "However, you are correct. I didn't call you here to talk about Nihlus. I wanted a chance to speak to you in person and request that you cease this ridiculous investigation on Saren. It's becoming a waste of C-Sec's time and money that could be better spent elsewhere."

"Not a chance," Shepard declared, unmoved by his request.

He turned to face her, his green eyes glowering at the smug human. Her expression quickly turned to a mix of hostility and sorrow as she observed his clan markings. They were Nihlus's markings. The two of them must have originated from the same clan as they made them look disturbingly alike. It made her feel unsettled and she averted her eyes. She shouldn't have come here, she knew that. She wasn't in the right state of mind and not to mention, drunk.

Valern could sense a moment of uncertainty within her. He wasn't sure what had caused it, but he wondered if it would give him the chance to get the upper hand. He took a few steps toward her. "You know Shepard, given the circumstances the Council will easily overlook your misunderstandings of what happened on Eden Prime."

"What?" Shepard blinked at him before exploding into unladylike laughter. "You think I'm going to call off any investigations so that your rabid pet can run free? If you think I'm that naive you've got another thing coming, _Councilor_." She spat the word as if it was distasteful.

Valern released an infuriated audible growl and charged at her, forcing her backwards onto his desk, pinning her neck with his forearm. A painful burst of air was forced from her lungs as her back hit the solid surface. He kept her immobilized, snarling furiously above her. She could feel his breath hot against her face as she glared up at him. Her heart wrenched as the features that so closely resembled her dead lover's hovered within inches of her. She knew this wasn't Nihlus, but the similarities were so painfully real and it brought forth a flood of emotions.

"You are insolent," the Councilor snarled dangerously. However, his demeanor softened when he met the look in her eyes. She was regarding him with a longing sadness and a wave of various other emotions he couldn't place. He felt the sudden softness of her hand as it brushed along his face, tracing his clan markings. He contemplated brushing it away, uncertain of her intentions. He wondered if she was trying to bring his guard down, but her expression was telling him otherwise.

As she traced the intricate white markings contrasting against the darkness of his skin and plating, she couldn't help but envision the loving face of her young turian. Her mind whirled and her vision was hazy but the likeness was there and she couldn't shove it out of her mind. It was almost comforting. She couldn't help the reaction her body was having to him. So many emotions stirred within her and she was without closure since the events on Eden Prime. She simply wanted to see Nihlus again; to make love to him one last time before he left her alone in this cruel universe. If she could imagine this turian was Nihlus, perhaps...

Valern could smell her arousal as she lay beneath him, and the affect it had on him was intense. She didn't struggle against him, but lay complaisantly under his gaze. He could feel his plates shift as his member hardened, straining against his fitted clothing. He could feel her hand move to the soft skin under his cowl and it caused him to purr deep within his throat. "What are you after, Shepard?" he asked with a shiver of pleasure.

Shepard didn't respond to his accusation, just simply gazed up at his familiar features with intense desire building inside her. Her heart ached, but she ignored it. She needed this. She needed a way to let go.

Valern's curiosity was beginning to get the better of him. Releasing his arm from her neck, he began moving his hands over her soft body, feeling the taut muscles rippling under smooth skin. It was an odd feeling, so much different from turian women. He looked down at her as his hands moved, searching for some sort of reaction, positive or otherwise. He could make out only yearning in her expression as he touched her. He could feel her legs wrap around his waist and he purred in pleasure at the sensation that coursed through to his loins. Lowering his mouth to her neck, he licked at her hot skin, pressing his body to hers so she could feel his hardness.

"Nihlus…" he heard her moan. He should have been put off by the mention of her dead lover's name, but his desire was too strong. He knew her body wanted him, even if in her mind he was someone else. He pushed her shirt up over head and nuzzled her pale skin, taking in her sweet scent mixed with that of strong alcohol. He stood to quickly rid himself of his clothes before relieving her of her boots and pants. Finally discarded of their barriers, he moved in on her like a predator. He pulled her towards him so her rear was off the edge of the desk, and lifting one of her legs to rest on his cowl, he slid into her with ease. Indescribable pleasure surged through his body as her slick tightness enveloped him. He moved slowly to give each of them time to get use to the other and to enjoy the pleasantly different feel of her. The erotic sighs and moans that escaped her lips as he moved inside her drove him wild, causing him to gradually increase the speed of his thrusts. Her leg felt soft and strong against his face and the image of her under him, as she let him take her, drew pleasured growls from him. The idea of this strong human female surrendering to him brought out his natural feral tendencies. He could feel her hands on him, urging him on and he gladly obliged, pumping into her with increasing ferocity. Her moans and occasional soft utterances of a name that was not his own filled his ears as she came around him. He didn't let her delusion bother him, however as it was _he_ that she was submitting to. The situation was pleasantly sating his desire to dominate this human. He growled gutturally as he reached his peak, his length twitching within her warmth.

As he slid out of her he could feel her movement as she made to rise to her feet, however he wasn't about to let her go. Turians had plenty of stamina and he had every intention of taking advantage of this situation while he could. "I am not finished with you yet," he purred as he turned her, pushing her face-down onto the desk. He was pleased at how easily she complied.

* * *

><p>Shepard left the Councilor's office in what seemed like hours later, ignoring the knowing glances of the guards as she departed. There was no doubt in their minds what had occurred behind that door. Shepard desperately wanted to feel that she could move on after her bout with the Councilor, but she felt like she had cheated herself and Nihlus's memory by what she had done. She felt disgusted with herself and her head spun with confusion and regret. She had to get out of here.<p>

As Shepard walked along the pathway of the Presidium she looked out across the lake. The deep blue of the water rippled with flashes of shimmering white as the false moon reflected off the surface. The brightness of it made her feel dizzy and she cursed herself for not taking allergen meds after the night's events. Shepard dug in her pocket, searching for the pills, drawing out instead the only object she had been keeping in her pocket since Eden Prime. Grasping the cool metal of Nihlus's insignia in her palm, she stared down at it as it glimmered in the artificial light of evening. She was having hard time seeing the symbols that adorned the trinket. As she tried to focus her vision her mind began to whirl and spin until her vision faded to grey, and then to black.

* * *

><p>Every inward breath she took was heavy and painfully lacking in oxygen. Opening her eyes she tried to focus straight ahead. She could make out the moon as it reflected on the water's surface; however it looked off. Her limbs felt as if they were floating but her body was being pulled downward. As her eyes adjusted to her surroundings she realized she was drowning. The water enveloped her in a cold embrace as she sank deeper. She contemplated making her way to the surface toward the synthetic moon above, however, she didn't struggle. She was finally feeling at peace as her body floated downward. Death was imminent, but the idea of it gave her no misgivings. Perhaps she would see Nihlus again, given there was anything beyond this existence.<p>

Shepard could make out a shadow above her. Maybe there was an afterlife after all and Nihlus was here to lead her to it. She could feel his strong hands grip her, drawing her upwards. A serene smile crossed her lips at his touch and she allowed him to be her guide. As her head broke the surface she found her lungs gasping for air. The strength of his grip continued to pull her up out of the water and in a moment she could feel a hard surface come up below her. She hunched over on hands and knees, coughing up liquid and gasping for the oxygen her lungs so desired. Her heart pumped fiercely in her chest. She wasn't dead. She wasn't certain how she felt about it, but she was given another chance. She raised her head to meet the eyes of her guardian angel. Stormy blue eyes stared back at her with concern

"Are you alright?" came a deep voice that sent shivers down her spine.

"Y-yeah," she choked out. "I'll be alright."

"You had me worried, Shepard. You were almost so far down I would've had to jump in and get my nice new armor wet," he mused, mandibles flaring.

"Thank you for saving me," she murmured, though she wasn't sure she meant it. Her eyes searched his features. He was familiar, but she couldn't quite place him. "How do you know my name?"

He chuckled, not at all offended that she hadn't remembered him. "We met briefly at the Citadel Tower, shortly after your return from Eden Prime. You had a lot on your mind so I'm not surprised you don't remember me," he assured her. "I'm Garrus Vakarian, the C-Sec officer who is running the investigation on Saren."

Shepard attempted to stand, but her legs felt like jelly and she stumbled. Officer Vakarian reached forward and gripped her arm to steady her as she caught her footing. She gave him a thankful nod. "I remember now. I uh… apologize. It's been a rough week," she stammered.

This fact was obvious to him by the various scents on her. One scent in particular surprised him, but it wasn't his place to comment on it. "I'll help you make it to your living quarters."

"No, I think I can make it there myself." Though she appreciated his offer to help, she wasn't comfortable relying on others.

"I'm not so sure about that," he professed. "And I won't take 'no' for an answer."

"Fine, if it'll make you feel better you can come along," she muttered reluctantly. Her head hurt and she didn't want to stand around here any longer.

He nodded, gladly accepting her offer and fell into step beside her. Despite being obviously disoriented she was determined to play it tough and press forward as if nothing was wrong. From what he had heard about Commander Shepard, he knew it probably killed her that he had seen any weakness from her. Regardless of what she had just gone through, she held herself with an air of authority. Though he could see her confidence beginning to fade as she fumbled around in her pockets, searchingly. She suddenly stopped dead, looking back worriedly as her hands came up empty.

"I need to go back," Shepard said determinately. "I lost something in the lake." As she started to head back from where they had come, the C-Sec officer grabbed her wrist to stop her.

"It's probably lost," Garrus said regretfully. "The lake is deep."

"I need that insignia," she demanded. _"You _know how valued they are."

"A turian insignia?" Yes, he knew how valuable they were. Initiation into the military signified a turian's coming of age. The day they received their insignia was a prized event. Insignias were the one thing a turian family kept when a loved one died in battle. "Okay, contact me tomorrow and we'll find it. It's too dark right now and you're in no shape to go jumping back into that lake," he chided.

"Fine." She was in no mood to argue, and in her current state she knew she would have no hope of finding it; it was hard enough to walk straight. Though, when she was feeling better, she would search that entire fucking lake until she found it, with or without this officer's help.

* * *

><p>Shepard's head was pounding when she woke. She had been asleep for nearly twelve hours and it was already midday. She immediately made her way to the small kitchen area to make a large pot of coffee. There was no way she was getting through the day without it. As she made her way out of the kitchen with a steaming cup of strong brew, she noticed the bright green light flashing next to her apartment door, above her package container. Shepard wasn't sure when she had received a package, but she was overlooking many things as of late. Opening the container she drew out a neatly wrapped rectangular object. As she opened it, she felt her chest tighten as the realization of what it was, hit her. She held the attractive display case in her hands, her eyes fixated on the metal insignia nestled in velvet, behind a perfect sheet of glass. A smile tugged at the corner of her lips as her mind shifted to the valiant Officer Vakarian and those stormy blue eyes.<p> 


	10. Conviction

**I didn't release this as quickly as I would've liked. It's been a busy week. Much of this chapter is like an alternate reality of familiar gameplay. I found those parts necessary to progress the story and build the team. I greatly value my readers' opinions, so please, if you are bored by parts like this in a story please let me know and I will try to better summarize any parts that are too close to gameplay. It's hard for me to tell as I'm obsessed and can replay and reread the story several times over :)  
><strong>

Shepard stepped into the asari Councilor's office. It was pristine, like most offices in the Presidium, but was adorned with a few feminine touches. And as far as Shepard could tell, the Councilors seemed to have the best views on the Citadel.

"Councilor," Shepard greeted the asari.

"Commander Shepard," she returned with a slight bow of her head. "Please, have a seat." The Councilor motioned towards a small sitting area that sat apart from the main office.

Shepard was hesitant to agree as she didn't intend to stay long. However, for lack of being rude, she seated herself in the indicated chair. She gave the asari an expectant look, waiting for her to inform her of why she had been asked here.

Taking the seat across from her, the asari shot Shepard an assuring smile. "How are you, Shepard?" the Councilor inquired.

"Fine," she replied quickly, unable to hide her impatience. "Is there something you wanted to discuss, Councilor?"

The Councilor studied her with interest, her dark eyes the color of black irises; purple, but deep enough to be mistaken for black. Her white markings were fascinating as they intricately decorated her features and contrasted against the rich cobalt of her complexion. She was obviously attractive, however, Shepard never found herself drawn to their race. Asari seemed to appeal to nearly every other race in the galaxy, but Shepard found them to be a bit overrated. Perhaps there just wasn't enough ferocity or danger surrounding them to peak her interests.

"Commander, I'd like to speak with you about Saren," the Councilor said, breaking her from her thoughts.

"Are you also going to tell me to call off the investigation?" Shepard accused, narrowing her eyes dangerously. "I already told the turian Councilor that I refuse to give up on this. My answer to you will not be any different, I assure you."

The asari Councilor shot her a surprised stare. "That's not it at all, Shepard," she assured. "On the contrary, I wanted to inform you that I am on your side, and I believe what you claim about Saren." She hesitated a moment, as if pondering how to continue. "I don't quite know why I believed these accusations at first, but you have me convinced…" she trailed off as if wanting to say more.

"Go on," Shepard urged.

Folding her hands and resting them on her lap, her purple-black eyes stared at Shepard intently. "I have some contacts, which have recently provided me with extremely valuable information regarding Saren's case."

"What kind of information?" Shepard pressed, her curiosity peaked.

"I can't be certain of all the details, however, I know that you must seek out a quarian. This quarian is said to have solid evidence that will support your accusations against Saren."

"Any ideas on where I should start?"

"There is a turian C-Sec officer who has a lead on the quarian, his name is Garrus Vakarian. If you seek him out he should be able to lead you to her."

An image of those stormy blue eyes shot into her mind, and it brought a small smile to the corners of her lips. "I have met him, though I'm not certain where to find him."

"There is another C-Sec officer, a human named Harkin, who hangs out in Chora's Den. He makes it his business to know other people's business, especially that of other officers. He may be able to help you locate Officer Vakarian," the asari informed her.

"Why are you so eager evidence against your top Spectre?" Shepard asked suspiciously.

"Unlike the other Councilors, I care more about what will happen if we _don't_ prosecute Saren over ignoring the problem. If Saren is killing other Spectres and working with geth, he's becoming much too dangerous to retain the privileges that come with being a Spectre."

"Well I'm glad the Citadel has at least _one_ sensible Councilor," Shepard murmured.

The asari gave her an amused smirk. "Well Commander Shepard, you have a busy day ahead of you."

"I do," Shepard acknowledged as she rose to her feet. "Thank you for your intel Councilor."

"Anytime, Shepard. And please, call me Tevos." Shepard gave her a slight nod in affirmation before exiting the office.

After gathering Kaidan and Ashley, who were patiently waiting outside, she headed for Chora's Den to seek out Harkin.

* * *

><p>Harkin, the C-Sec drunk, was reluctant to divulge much information. He seemed more interested in ogling the snug areas of Shepard's armor and whining about the unfairness of C-Sec's intolerance of his drinking on the job. It was people like him who gave the other galactic races a bad impression of humans, and it infuriated her. However she needed information, so she tolerated his groaning until he finally relented to giving it up, along with some other interesting tidbits she would have to confront Captain Anderson about later. Regarding Garrus, Harkin had told her that the turian had begun some investigation around the med-clinic. So, Shepard figured that's where she may find him.<p>

When the team reached the clinic, they were welcomed by quite the scene. Officer Vakarian was taking cover behind a half-wall while a human female on the other side was being accosted by a group of thugs who didn't seem to appreciate Shepard's intrusion. One of them grabbed the woman to use as a shield against the intruders.

"Who are you?" he shouted, pointing his gun at them.

Suddenly Garrus shot out from his cover and shot the man in the head. Dropping his hold on the woman, the thug fell to the floor in a pool of red. Finally free from her captive, the woman took cover while the remaining thugs and armored soldiers engaged a firefight. Shepard immediately took one down with a headshot.

"Nice shooting!" Garrus shouted over the gunshots. He, in turn, took down another with a bullet between the eyes while Kaidan and Ashley took down the remaining two.

Shepard smirked to herself. This turian was a fantastic shot, perhaps even rivaling herself. She was very impressed. With the opposition defeated it was time to find out exactly what had triggered it. She noticed the gaze of the turian officer as he regarded her with interest, his familiar blue eyes shining brightly.

"Fancy meeting you here, Officer Vakarian," she said with a smile.

The turian chuckled, almost bashfully, in response. "Yeah well, I gotta be where the action is, you know how that is, Shepard. And uh… you can just call me Garrus," he added with a grin. However, his grin faded when he noticed the hostile look he was receiving from the human male that accompanied her.

"So what was all that about?" Shepard inquired to both Garrus and the woman, who appeared to be the clinic's doctor, Chloe Michel.

"Those men work for Fist. They wanted to shut me up and keep me from telling Garrus about the quarian," Doctor Michel informed her.

"She must be able to link Saren to the geth," Garrus chimed in. "There's no way the Council can ignore this!"

"Sounds like we need to find this bastard, Fist," Shepard said with an anxious glint in her eyes. She wondered if they would find Urdnot Wrex there. If not, he was going to miss out on all the upcoming fun.

"Let me join you, Shepard. I want to see Saren taken down as much as you do, and you could use my firepower," Garrus urged.

"I doubt you want him dead nearly as much as I do. Not only is he a traitor, he's a murderer. For me it's personal. But you're right, we could definitely use your skills," Shepard confirmed. "Kaidan, Ashley, could one of you two meet wait for us at the Ambassador's office? I don't want too many of us rushing in to take down Fist. I like to keep my squads small, less chaotic."

"I'll go, Commander," Ashley volunteered. She knew Ashley wasn't comfortable around aliens, so she wasn't surprised by her willingness to stay behind.

"Okay Ash, we're going to go find that quarian. We'll meet you at the Ambassador's office with the evidence," Shepard told her.

"Yes mam," Ashley replied.

Turning to Kaidan and Garrus, a deadly smile crossed her lips. "Now let's get Fist!"

* * *

><p>As the team drew closer to the club they could hear the sound of gunshots echoing through the Wards. Something wasn't right. Shepard knew they had to get there fast, so the team picked up the pace. The sound of a firefight grew significantly louder as they reached the roundabout room that led to Chora's Den. A stray bullet that was shot from inside the club zipped past the team, hitting the wall behind them. From afar, Shepard could make out a krogan taking cover outside the open door of the gentlemen's club. Wrex.<p>

"Cover the krogan," Shepard ordered her squad.

Without questioning her decision, Garrus and Kaidan rushed up to the krogan's side, taking cover where possible. Shepard moved in next to him, giving him a wry smile.

"Shepard!" Wrex exclaimed. "I didn't think you'd ever get here. I was getting bored. Thought I'd stir up the place."

"I can see that. So much for sneaking in," she replied.

"Krogan don't _sneak_," Wrex said with a gruff laugh.

"Well, it most certainly looks like you pissed off everyone here. Fist still cowering in the back?"

"Of course."

"Good. I need information from him, so when we get there, let me talk to him before you blow his brains out."

"He better talk fast," Wrex mused.

As it turns out, Fist had a lot of lackeys, and the club was littered with many bodies by the time they reached the door that led to the back rooms. When they reached Fist office, it was almost amusing to find that he was also hiding behind a pair of turrets. Talk about overkill. There was no end to this man's cowardice. It had taken a few rounds, but they had managed to take them down and, as was almost suspected, Fist was quick to surrender and beg for his life. Shepard took this as a good opportunity to get the information she needed.

"Where is the quarian?" she demanded.

"I don't know where she is, that's the truth!" Fist cried shakily.

"He's no use to you now," Wrex told her. "Let me kill him."

"Wait, wait! I don't know where the quarian is but I know where you can find her," Fist admitted. "She said she would only deal with the Shadowbroker himself."

"Face-to-face? Impossible! Even I was hired through an agent," Wrex chimed in.

"Nobody meets the Shadowbroker… ever. But she didn't know that," Fist told them as he scrambled to his feet. I told her I'd set a meeting up. But when she shows up, it'll be Saren's men waiting for her."

Unsheathing her knife, Shepard grabbed Fist by the neck and waved the sharp tip before his face. "Tell me where that meeting is or I'll cut out your eyes and feed them to the krogan," she warned.

"Here in the Wards, the back alley by the markets. She's suppose t meet them right now. You can make it if you hurry-" Fist barely uttered the last word before Wrex drew his gun and shot him dead.

"What are you doing!" Garrus shouted.

"The Shadowbroker paid me to kill him. I don't leave jobs half-done," Wrex replied.

"He had it coming," Shepard said with a shrug. "Now let's move, we have to get to that quarian." Garrus and Kaidan both nodded in affirmation. Wrex, on the other hand, met Shepard with an uncertain scowl. "Are you coming, Wrex?"

"Krogan _don't_ eat eyes," Wrex stated gruffly. "At least not humans'. Turians' maybe." He gave Garrus a sideways glance.

"_He_ didn't know that," she said motioning towards Fist's body.

Wrex gave her an understanding nod. "I get you Shepard," he said with an amused grunt. "Well, what are we waiting for!"

* * *

><p>The alley Fist had mentioned was not at all far from the club and they were able to reach it within minutes. When they got there, the quarian was already involved in a gun battle with three of Saren's men. When Shepard's squad joined the fight, the men were easily taken down, and Shepard noted that the quarian impressively held her own during the battle.<p>

"Fist set me up! I knew I couldn't trust him!" the quarian shouted, more to herself than anyone else. She gave an exasperated sigh, knowing she'd been fooled. "I appreciate the help, but who are you?"

"My name is Shepard and I'm looking for the evidence that proves Saren's a traitor and a murderer. If I can get my hands on that evidence I'll make sure the Council puts an end to his privileges. Also, Wrex here killed Fist, so you don't have to concern yourself with payback," Shepard said motioning towards her krogan squad mate.

"Well, then this is my chance to repay you for saving my life, and taking care of Fist," the quarian said in a more cheerful tone. "I have the evidence you need against Saren, however, we should go somewhere safe…"

"How about the Ambassador's office? He'll want to see this anyway," Kaidan recommended.

"Good idea Kaidan, let's get this evidence there quick," Shepard said, not noticing the man's pleased smile as he absorbed her praise.

* * *

><p>Apparently Udina had already been informed of the events in the Ward, and he was not pleased. As usual, Shepard was completely prepared for a scolding from the uptight Ambassador.<p>

"Shepard! What do you think you are doing? Firefights in the Wards and an all-out assault on Chora's Den; what were you thinking?" Udina demanded irritably with a wave of his hand. "And who are these people?"

Ashley moved in next to Kaidan with a grimace on her face. "What's with all the aliens?" she whispered. Kaidan didn't respond, deciding to let Shepard do the talking.

This," she continued motioning towards quarian, "is your evidence against Saren. "And these," she said motioning toward Garrus and Wrex, "are the people who helped me track her down."

The quarian spoke up, "my name is Tali'Zorah nar Rayya, and I was on my Pilgrimage when I came across the evidence. I had tracked a patrol of geth to an uncharted world. While there, I waited for one to become separated from its unit. From it, I was able to salvage some of the memory core. And this is what I found in its audio banks." After pressing a few controls on her omni-tool, the sound of Saren's unmistakable voice rang clear through the room.

"_Eden Prime was a major victory. The beacon has brought us one step closer to locating the Conduit."_

"That's Saren's voice!" Anderson exclaimed. "This proves he was involved in the attack! The Council _can't_ ignore this."

"What is this 'Conduit' that he mentions?" Shepard inquired. "Know anything about it?"

Anderson shook his head to the negative. "It could be another type of Prothean technology."

"Wait there's more," Tali broke in. "Saren wasn't working alone." She replayed the video, Saren's voice once again resonating through the office regarding Eden Prime and the Conduit, then, another voice came through the recording.

"_And one step closer to the return of the Reapers," _said a rough female voice.

"I don't recognize that other voice," Udina said, "the one talking about the 'Reapers'."

"Reapers? I've heard that somewhere…" Shepard trailed off in deep thought.

"According to the geth the Reapers are a race of machines that existed fifty-million years ago. They were the cause of the extinction of the Protheans, and then, they disappeared," Tali explained.

"Sounds a bit far-fetched," Udina mumbled doubtfully.

Shepard's eyes widened as she remembered the vision she had after being drawn into the beacon. Flashes of images she couldn't quite comprehend of their meaning. Death, organic flesh meshed with synthetics, and an unfamiliar alien race, the Protheans; it all came flooding back. "The vision I had on Eden Prime! I understand it now," Shepard announced. "I saw the Protheans being wiped out by the Reapers."

"The geth revere the Reapers as gods, and it seems they believe Saren can bring them back," Tali surmised.

"The Council is going to love this…" Udina grumbled.

"If the Reapers are a threat to Citadel space, the Council needs to know of it," Shepard told him. She doubted they would believe her, but she had to try.

"We have all the evidence we need in those audio files," Anderson said. "They can't deny that Saren is a traitor now."

"The Captain is right. We need to present this to the Council at once," Udina agreed.

"What about _her_, the quarian?" Ashley asked, a touch of scorn present in her voice.

"My _name _is Tali," she corrected irritably. "Shepard, you've seen what I can do. Please let me come with you."

"I don't see why not. I'll take all the help I can get," Shepard told her.

"Thank you Shepard, you won't regret this!" Tali said excitedly joining Shepard at her side.

"We're going to request an audience with the Council. Shepard, meet us in the Council Chambers as soon as you are ready," Udina told her.

"Right," Shepard replied.

* * *

><p>Shepard arrived at the Council Chambers alone, after requesting that the rest of the team stay behind. She wasn't certain how this meeting with the Councilors was going to go. At least one, the asari Councilor, Tevos, was on her side. She wasn't certain about the salarian, as he seemed to go strictly for the facts without bias. The evidence was definitely strong enough to convict Saren, however, the mention of the Reapers was not solid enough proof that they were a threat. She was also very unsure about the turian, Valern as well. He seemed to have an extreme dislike of the human race, however, after the events of the other night, she wasn't sure what to think. Perhaps there was still room for him to learn to accept humans as more than second-class citizens. And perhaps, with this evidence, he'll finally acknowledge that he no longer has any control over Saren.<p>

Reaching the second flight of stairs that led up to the Council, she found Anderson waiting for her. "Let's head up, Udina is presenting the quarian's evidence to the Council."

As Shepard and Anderson made their way up the final flight of stairs, they could hear the recording of Saren's voice echoing over the vast space of the stage. As they came up to stand beside Udina the recording ended with the woman's voice.

"You wanted proof? There it is!" Udina declared.

The turian Councilor was the first to speak up. "This evidence is irrefutable Ambassador. Saren will be stripped of his Spectre status and all efforts will be made to bring him in to answer for his crimes." It surprised Shepard that the turian seemed to change his tune so drastically.

The asari Councilor was next to speak. "I recognize the other voice. It's Matriarch Benezia."

"Who is she?" Shepard inquired.

"Benezia is a powerful biotic who has reached the final stage of her life to become known as a respectful Matriarch. She has many followers and will make a formidable ally for Saren," Tevos explained.

"I'm more interested in the Reapers," the salarian Councilor spoke up. "What do you know about them?"

"Only what was extracted from the geth's memory core," Anderson admitted. "The Reapers were an ancient race of machines that wiped out the Protheans, then vanished."

"The geth believe the Reapers are gods, and they believe Saren is the answer to their return," Shepard continued.

"We believe the Conduit is the key to bringing them back," Anderson added. "Saren attacked Eden Prime so that he could locate the Conduit through the beacon."

"I'm not so sure about these 'Reapers'," Valern said, air quoting the word.

"Yes, unfortunately there isn't enough proof that they exist. The Reapers could just be a convenient lie to cover Saren's true purpose and to bend the geth to his will," the salarian Councilor surmised.

"Fifty-thousand years ago the Reapers destroyed all galactic life! If Saren finds the Conduit it could happen again!" Shepard argued. Part of her could understand their doubt, however, it was never wise to ignore a possible threat, no matter no impossible it seemed.

"Saren is a rogue agent who's on the run for his life. He no longer has access to any Spectre resources. The Council has stripped him of his position," Valern assured them.

"That is not good enough!" Udina shouted, his frustration obviously building. "You know Saren is out there! Send your fleet in!"

"A fleet cannot track down one man," the salarian stated.

"This is crap!" Shepard bit out angrily. "Every time humanity asks for help, you snub us. We're tired of being treated like second class citizens!"

"Shepard's right!" Udina agreed. "I'm sick of this Council and its anti-human bull!"

"Ambassador, there is another solution…" Tevos interrupted. "A way to stop Saren that does not require fleets or armies." She gave Valern a knowing look, preparing herself for his opposition.

"While I would normally disagree, I find myself unable to do so. Humanity is _not _ready to face the responsibilities that come with joining the Spectres, however… I see something different in Commander Shepard. Perhaps, if given this responsibility, the rest of humanity can learn from her example," Valern said, ignoring the surprised glances he was receiving.

"I agree," said the salarian Councilor. "Then it is decided."

"Commander Shepard," Tevos addressed. "Step forward."

With a supportive nod from Anderson, Shepard stepped to the edge of the dais, regarding the Councilors respectfully. She could see small crowds, comprised of all races, forming on the surrounding balconies to witness the event. Shepard could feel excitement welling up inside her. This is exactly what she wanted; a way to make a difference with no restrictions. She wished Nihlus could be here to witness it.

"It is the decision of the Council that you be granted all the powers and privileges of the Special Tactics and Reconnaissance branch of the Citadel," the asari Councilor announced.

The salarian straightened, regarding the human standing before him with a newfound sense of respect. "Spectres are not trained, but chosen. Individuals forged in the fire of service and battle. Those whose actions elevate them above the rank and file."

"Spectres are an ideal, a symbol. The embodiment of courage, determination, and self-reliance. They are the right hand of the Council, instruments of our will," the asari Councilor continued.

"Spectres bear a great burden. They are protectors of galactic peace, both our first and last line of defense. The safety of the galaxy is theirs to uphold." The turian Councilor finished the speech with a grin.

"You are the first human Spectre, Commander. This is a great accomplishment for you and all of humanity," the asari commemorated.

"I'm honored, Councilors," Shepard said with a respectful bow of her head.

"Your first and primary mission is to seek out and either apprehend or eliminate the fugitive of justice, Saren," the salarian instructed.

"I'll find him," Shepard replied determinately. There was no doubt about that. By any means necessary, he will answer for his crimes.

"This meeting is adjourned," Tevos concluded.

"We have lots to prepare," Udina stated excitedly when the Council finally made their leave. "You're going to need a ship, a crew, supplies… Anderson, come with me, I'll need your help to set all this up!" The Ambassador could barely contain his enthusiasm.

"Shepard, prepare your team and meet us at the spaceport and we can discuss how to proceed," Anderson instructed her.

Shepard nodded before heading back to rejoin her team. Now that the search for Saren has become a reality, it was the time for them to decide if they were going to remain under her lead, or back out. She hoped they would all decide to remain with her as she had a good feeling about each one of their skills. Their presence would definitely make for a more successful, and interesting, mission. As she made her way out of the Citadel Tower, her omni-tool notified her that she had received a message.

"_Shepard, I'd like you to meet me in my office before you depart the Citadel." -Councilor Valern_

Shepard frowned at the message, pondering whether or not to respond. She didn't feel comfortable meeting with him so soon after their rather inappropriate episode and she couldn't imagine what he would possibly want to speak to her about. She didn't need, nor have time for his congratulations, if there were any. There were many things to do before their departure. However, since he did support her initiation into the Spectres, she decided it best to respectfully decline. No sense in making enemies out of supporters. Besides, she was going to need the continuing support of the Council. Quickly sending a response to the Councilor, she proceeded to the location of her team.


	11. The Matriarch's Daughter

The Normandy was now Shepard's, handed over to her command by Udina and Captain Anderson. Having the Normandy and her crew was more than the Commander could ask for. Not only that, but the people she had picked up on the Citadel all chose to remain a part of her team, and they all seemed eager to lend their skills to the cause. After settling her new team into the Normandy, Shepard immediately went to work. Slouched over the desk of her new quarters, she poured over reports and clues as to where they should continue their search after Artemis Tau, which had been chosen as their first destination. There, they were to seek out an asari named Liara T'Soni, who was Matriarch Benezia's daughter. Just so happens she also specialized in Prothean artifacts, which might come in handy if she proved to be an ally. It was unknown if this Liara had any involvement with her mother's and Saren's scheme, but she was going to find out.

Shepard decided that Feros may be the following destination; however that was always subject to change, especially depending on what information she could divulge from this asari. Right now, she didn't have much information at her disposal, so there was a definite lack of things to keep her busy. For now, she decided it best to make some rounds and see how everything was coming along.

* * *

><p>Making her way around the Normandy, she began to see it in a new light. It was easy to see the vessel was near perfect; definitely top of the line. But now it belonged to her and her crew. She also began to see the slight things that were missing from its design. She noted that it could have used a training area, especially for long missions. If the team was going to be spending a great deal of time on the ship, they would probably do well to have a way to remain in top shape. Perhaps she could at least get some strength equipment down here. It wouldn't be much, but any little bit would help. Soldiers couldn't afford to get soft, especially not with what they were up against. Her eyes were drawn to where the Normandy Requisitions Officer stood. Perhaps if she moved him down the wall a bit... that would make for a perfect spot to set down some equipment... maybe even a sparing mat. Her diverse team could most certainly learn a lot from each other if they could experience where each had their strengths and weaknesses. Lost in her thoughts, she failed to notice the nervous look she was attracting from the Requisitions Officer. He wasn't sure what the Commander was considering, but it was making him nervous.<p>

"Hey Shepard!" she heard a deep voice call out to her. She turned to see Wrex regarding her with amusement from the opposite wall he chose as his "post".

"How's it going, Wrex?" Shepard asked the krogan as she moved toward him.

"It's going," Wrex grunted. "You thinking about mating with that human?"

Shepard wrinkled her nose at his assumption. "No, I was actually thinking about what I could do with that space. It's a nice amount of room to set up a small training area."

Wrex's eyes lit up and he pounded his fist into his other palm. "Shepard, that's brilliant! I'd like a chance to _spar_ with the turian."

Shepard scowled. "That wasn't the intention. We all need to be at our best and strongest to take down Saren. I'd prefer it if you didn't kill off our team."

"Haha! Don't worry Shepard, I won't harm your precious turian," Wrex teased.

She arched her eyebrow at him curiously. "_Precious_?"

Wrex gave her a wry grin. "Don't think I don't notice the way you've been glancing at the turian, Shepard. You humans are easy to read."

Shepard simply groaned in response before changing the subject. "I think I'm done here. I'm going to go grab some food..."

"You do that," Wrex said with a grin. "Say 'hello' to Garrus for me. I think I saw him head up there not long ago."

She shook her head as she headed toward the elevator. That's all she needed, an observant krogan who didn't mind his own business. Sure, she tossed Garrus a few glances every now and then. She'd been waiting for the right moment to thank him for retrieving Nihlus's insignia. It also may not have helped that he was a very good-looking turian. That in itself deserved a few stolen glances… nothing more. Right now, however, she wasn't looking for any type of relationship beyond friendship. Her wounds were still fresh and thoughts of her dead lover still invaded her mind.

As she entered the mess hall, she could see Garrus sitting at the table with some rather disgusting looking nutrient paste. Most ship reserves were rather unappetizing, but this was especially so. Grabbing a nutrition shake from the cabinet area, she sat down across from the turian.

"Shepard!" Garrus greeted her with a grin. "I'm glad you're here. I wanted to thank you for bringing me along to track down Saren. I'm glad to know that justice will be served without worrying about all the red tape."

"I've actually been wanting to thank you too, Garrus..." She trailed off, not knowing how to express her gratitude. "Not only did you pull my ass out of the water a few nights ago, but you were somehow able to find that insignia I lost." She gave him an appreciative smile. "I don't know how you did it."

Garrus chuckled in slight embarrassment. "Well, I'm always ready to help a lady in distress," he joked. His demeanor suddenly faded into seriousness and his blue eyes searched hers. "What happened that night, Shepard? From what I've heard about you, that was completely out of character."

Her expression hardened as if trying to suppress emotions she refused to put on display. "It was a rough night. I was drunk, as well as disoriented from an allergic reaction."

"An allergic reaction?" Garrus alluded for her to explain further.

"Yes, I may have consumed something that didn't agree with my system," she explained vaguely. "However, if you don't mind, I'd prefer not to discuss it further."

Garrus gave her an understanding nod, though he couldn't keep his mind from considering it further. He could remember the scent that covered her that night. The scent of turian male pheromones. He could remember the slight reaction he had to it. Females that were scented like that often evoked reactions from other turian males. It typically triggered a need to challenge or dominate over the other male if they were indeed attracted to the female. What confused him was that he had such a reaction to a _human_ female, something that he had previously never considered. But even now, he couldn't keep his thoughts from wandering. He couldn't help but consider the possibilities of what she had "consumed", while in the company of this turian, to trigger such an allergic reaction. His eyes grazed over her mouth. He caught a brief glimpse of her shiny wet tongue as it darted out to run along her lips, leaving behind a damp sheen as she grew nervous under his gaze; however she didn't break the uncomfortable silence or try to avert his attention elsewhere. Turian females were without the proper mechanics to engage in such acts. Even attempting it would be extremely dangerous for the male. Though, for humans it was a common sexual activity. The thought was enticing, yet Garrus felt ashamed considering his _human_ Commander in such a way. Deciding his mind had gone far enough, he cleared his throat and turned his eyes to the metal can that sat on the table before her.

"Is that as nasty as what I'm eating?" he asked her, motioning from the can to his paste. He knew it was lame, but he had to say something to divert his mind.

Shepard laughed audibly in response. "Maybe, but it certainly doesn't look as bad!"

"Ugh, you're right. At least yours doesn't looks like it came out of an elcor," Garrus grumbled. At this, they both simultaneously burst out into laughter. However, his amusement faded slightly when he felt another set of eyes on him as if they were burning a hole through his skull. He glanced to his right to see Kaidan at his post, regarding the two of them with a look of discontent.

* * *

><p>When Kaidan had seen Shepard enter the mess hall area, his heart leapt. He had allowed his eyes to wander over her body as she walked, her clothes hugging all the right places. She was gorgeous and even made tactical clothing look enticing. He was pleased when she acknowledged him with a little wave after selecting a nutrition shake from the mess hall cabinets. However, his pleasantness dulled when she turned to the turian, Garrus, and sat across from him. What irritated Kaidan even more was how quickly the two of them got on with one another.<p>

_Fucking turian, _Kaidan thought bitterly. He had truly hoped that since Nihlus was no longer in the picture, he'd finally have a chance with her. He wasn't certain how close the two of them were before his death, but he could tell she had been pretty broken up about his loss. He figured though, in time, she would warm up to his affections. However, he didn't want to be too pushy, too soon. Now he realized that may have been a mistake. He had seen the way her and Garrus gazed at each other in uncomfortable silence only moments ago, and it infuriated him, and now they were laughing like they were old friends. After deciding he'd had enough of seeing them together, he made his way past them and up the stairs to the CIC. He wasn't sure talking to Joker was the best option, but he had to confide in _someone_.

Joker was in his usual spot in the cockpit, reading some kind of magazine, which Kaidan doubted was remotely work-related. Plopping down in the co-pilot's seat, he nodded to the other man, "What's up, Joker?"

"Eh, not much," the pilot replied. "How's the Commander? Haven't seen her much since we departed the Citadel."

"She _seems_ alright I guess," Kaidan replied dejectedly.

Joker gave him a cock-eyed look. "Don't tell me you didn't try work your charm on her yet."

Kaidan glowered. "I think our resident turian is taking care of that."

"Garrus? With the stick up his ass?" Joker considered this for a moment. "Hmm… she's got a thing for turians doesn't she?"

Kaidan surrendered a hopeless sigh. "I don't get it. A beautiful woman like that… it's just not right."

Joker shrugged. "I donno. Maybe she likes their big—"

"Joker!" Kaidan interrupted.

"_Claws_! I was going to say _claws_!" Joker assured him. "Maybe you should get a pair. It might turn her on, you know."

Ignoring the pilot's last statement, Kaidan sighed again. "I don't know what to do, Joker. I was going to try taking it slow with her. You know, give her time to warm up to the idea of moving on..."

"Dude, that's your problem! You're too passive." Joker told him. "You gotta remember, the Commander isn't like other women. She's not going to want some guy pining over her and treating her like a delicate flower. Maybe she's into turians because they're aggressive and assertive."

Kaidan considered this a moment. "Maybe you're right."

"Damn right I'm right!" Joker declared. "If you want to woo the Commander you have to make her _know _it. Be forceful."

"Yeah, you're right," Kaidan concluded, pounding his fist into his palm determinately. "Next time I get a moment with her, I'll act on it. Be assertive."

"Just make sure she's not armed," the pilot said with a chuckle. However, his amusement was cut short when Kaidan shot him a deadly glare. "I'm kidding! You'll be fine!"

"Right…" Kaidan said doubtfully.

"I still say go for the claws."

"No claws."

"Fine fine, but if I start sporting a pair and the Commander's all over me, don't say I didn't warn you." Joker shrugged, turning his attentions back to his magazine.

* * *

><p>"Commander," Joker's voice rang over the comm system. "I ran a scan of the planets in this system. It looks like there are several mining sites Therum. Could be a good place to look."<p>

"Thanks Joker," Shepard responded. "Take us in. Also, tell Kaidan and Garrus to suit up and meet me at the mako."

"Will do, Commander," Joker responded.

She was going to take Wrex instead of Kaidan on this mission, however, she didn't want her human team members to feel that they were being left out. She wasn't so sure about bringing Ashley though, as she had a dislike for aliens. She didn't want there to be any problems when they met the asari. Garrus, she didn't want to leave out just yet as she felt comfortable having him on her six. He already saved her ass once. Given these factors, the choice was simple.

* * *

><p>Garrus could almost see his life flash before his eyes as the mako jolted to and fro over the rough terrain of Therum. There were a couple of times when he swore Shepard was going to tip the vehicle backward by braving too-steep slopes. Shepard's driving had proved to be more threatening than the combination of the dropship that had been laying down geth and the facility they had found, that was overrun with the synthetics. The mako's guns had proved to be very impressive, taking down every geth that stood in their path.<p>

"Looks like we'll have to take it on foot from here," Shepard stated, bringing the vehicle to a halt.

Garrus glanced at Kaidan, who appeared slightly relieved. Sure, Shepard's driving was frightening; however Garrus knew they would be out in the open with geth at every turn. He was right. As the squad stormed up the rock-filled path, they were met with much opposition as geth seemed to pour from the cover of the rocky terrain. They fought their way forward with ease, however, as the geth's numbers were no match for their skills. When they reached the end of the path they were met by large structures left behind from a mining excursion. There were no geth in sight, which was a relief. However, Shepard never dropped her guard. She scanned the area, keeping the squad behind efficient cover. Garrus could see her tense up indicating that something wasn't right.

Shepard motioned toward a beam high above them. Looking up, the squad could see synthetic being with four legs, clinging to the beam and watching them. Shepard raised her sniper slowly, as not to spook the "creature". When she had it in her sights, she took the shot, causing the thing to lose its grip on the beam. It felt to the ground in a heap.

"Ready your weapons," she told them as the sound of a dropship roared overhead. Almost all too quickly a small troop of geth and two armatures were dropped around them. The troopers went down easy, however the armatures were another matter, their solid armor deflecting normal firepower. Shepard decided it was time to pull out the big guns. She reached for her rocket launcher, excited at finally having a good reason to use it since purchasing it from the C-Sec Requisitions Officer. Taking aim at one of the armatures, she let loose a rocket that spiraled its way toward the geth. It was enough to take the geth's shields down, so she shot another not wanting to give it time to regenerate. This one took the armature down completely and it crumbled to the ground in a mess of wires and metal. Using the same tactic, she took down the one that was remaining.

"All clear," Kaidan said after rescanning the area.

"Commander, we may have a good chance of finding Dr. T'Soni in there," Garrus pointed out, motioning to an entrance that led underground.

"Good thinking. That's why I keep you around, Vakarian," Shepard said, patting him on the arm.

"That and because I'm so damn handsome," Garrus teased.

"Isn't that the truth!" she replied with a wink.

"We better move, Commander," Kaidan said, trying to hide his irritation at their flirting.

"Right! Let's find T'Soni!" Shepard declared, making a dash for the mine entrance.

* * *

><p>They had run into very little geth within the mines; a few drones here and there but nothing they couldn't handle. As they made their way further in, they could see a glowing barrier up ahead. They pressed forward quickly, coming across a lift which they then took to the lower level. Moving toward the blue glow, they heard a female voice call out to them.<p>

"Hello? Can you get me out of here?" The voice was emanating from inside the barrier. As Shepard's squad carefully moved to stand before the blue transparent wall, an asari came into view. She was suspended in mid air, seemingly trapped within the illumination.

"Please help me," she pleaded. "I'm trapped."

"Are you Doctor T'Soni?" Shepard questioned the asari.

"I am. Please, you must find a way to get me out of here," the asari begged.

"What is this thing and how do I get you out?" Shepard pressed for more answers.

"It's a Prothean barrier curtain. I knew it would keep me safe from the geth, however when I activated it I must've hit something I wasn't supposed to. I'm not sure how to deactivate it but it cannot be done from the outside," T'Soni explained.

"Before I make an effort to get you out, I need to know whose side you're on. Your mother is working with Saren and the geth. So you're either with them, or with us."

"I'm not sure what you're talking about. I'm not on anybody's side, but I can assure you I'm nothing like Matriarch Benezia."

"Okay, we'll look for a way to get you out of there," Shepard assured her.

"Thank you. And please be careful. There's a krogan with the geth, and they've been trying to find a way around the barrier," the doctor warned.

"Hey Commander," Kaidan said. "I remember seeing some type of device when we were coming down the lift. It looked like it could be a mining laser. Perhaps we should check it out."

"Great idea, Kaidan." She patted him on the shoulder and gave him an encouraging smile.

Heading back in the direction of the lift, they quickly came across the device that Kaidan had seen. It was indeed a mining laser as he had suspected. If they used it they could blast their way to the other side. Shepard immediately began inspecting the controls.

"Commander, perhaps we should try to aim it—" Kaidan's suggestion was cut off by an explosion as a beam shot out from the device and struck the rock below the barrier.

The strike caused an opening which seemed to conveniently lead to a lit passageway constructed of metal plating. From here, they encountered another lift, which took them to a space behind the barrier that had entrapped the doctor.

"You got in!" the asari exclaimed with relief. "Now hit that button over there," she instructed, turning her head to motion toward a console on her left. As soon as Shepard touched the console, it flipped over to reveal the deactivation key. As soon as she pressed the button, the asari was released from the barrier's hold.

"Thank you for rescuing me," T'Soni said with relief evident in her voice. "My name is Liara, as you probably know. And you are?"

"I'm Shepard, and these are my squad mates, Kaidan and Garrus." She motioned to the human and turian who both flanked her protectively. They obviously didn't quite trust this asari as of yet.

Suddenly, they heard a crackling from above and rumbling that surrounded the room. A moment later, the sound of crumbling rock echoed around them. "I think we better get out of here. There will be time to talk more when we get you on the Normandy," Shepard told her.

"There's another elevator over here," Liara said. "It should take us to the exit."

The elevator revealed itself to be a large round platform. When they had activated the console the platform rose smoothly upward, which was surprising for how old the Prothean device was. After finally reaching the top, the squad felt a great sense of relief as the opening to the upper mines came into view. However, that relief was quickly washed away as they were approached by a krogan battlemaster, followed by a troop of geth.

"Surrender, or don't, that would be more fun." the krogan sneered.

Shepard scowled at the krogan. She didn't have time for this. This place could come down on them at any moment, and this bastard was going to give her a hard time? She impatiently drew out her sniper rifle, lifting it to peer through the scope at the battlemaster.

"Thank you for getting past that barrier for us. Now drop your weapons hand over the doctor," the krogan demanded.

"Like hell." Shepard pulled the trigger, releasing a perfectly aimed bullet that hit its target just below his crest. The krogan collapsed to the ground, triggering an aggressive response from the surrounding geth. With their combined firepower and biotics, they were able to bring down the synthetics with ease while the asari doctor nervously took cover behind them. With the final geth destroyed it was time to move out. The crumbling of the mines as the rock roared and crackled grew increasingly loud.

"Let's move!" Shepard yelled, shoving the asari forward to make sure she wasn't left behind. They charged through the opening, entering into the upper reaches of the mines. Large rocks were falling from above, crashing down on the metal rise that was their way out. "Go, go!" Shepard shouted over the noise.

The squad stormed over the rise, using their arms to cover themselves from the falling debris. The metal below their feet creaked and shook from the heavy blows it was taking from above; the clanking of armored boots on metal barely audible over the destruction. Shepard paused as they hit the end of the rise, directing her team members and the asari to push on ahead of her so she could watch their backs as she followed behind. As her team went on ahead, Shepard felt a heavy force fall upon her. The air pushed from her lungs as her chest hit the solid rock surface of the gound. Trying to shake off the daze that clouded her vision, she glanced back to see a large rock pinning her left leg. She strained to move the leg, attempting to shift the rock from it. A sharp stabbing pain shot up from it to her thigh and she had to clench her teeth to keep from crying out.

Garrus came to a halt as a dreadful feeling came over him; something was wrong. Kaidan stopped almost immediately after, and the two of them looked back to see the Commander trapped, her leg crushed under a heavy boulder.

"Commander!" Kaidan shouted over the echoing roar. He could see her look up at them and she raised her hand, waving them forward, ordering them to keep going. "I have to help her!" he exclaimed frantically.

"Kaidan, I need you to make sure the doctor gets out of here safely. I'll get Shepard," Garrus stated determinately.

Kaidan scowled at the turian, his expression threatening. However, he knew they didn't have the time to argue. "If you let her die you'll regret it, turian."

Without responding to his threat, Garrus turned and darted to the Commander's side while Kaidan guided Liara to the exit. Garrus felt his heart racing in his chest as he his eyes loomed over the boulder that had her pinned. He hoped he had the strength to move it quickly before the whole place came crashing down on them.

"Garrus! What are you doing? Get out of here!" Shepard shouted.

"I'm going to help you," Garrus replied, getting on his knees to push the boulder from the bottom.

"Go! That's an order!" Shepard growled.

"I'm not leaving without you!" Garrus shouted back between gritted teeth as he pushed all his strength against the boulder. Debris continued to fall around them and he could feel the giant rock beginning to give. Lending one more burst of strength to his force he could feel the boulder shift and roll forward, finally releasing her from its weight.

Feeling the burden suddenly lifted from her leg, Shepard raised herself up to her feet, though nearly collapsing as her injured leg gave out. She could feel secure arms grab her, helping her to keep her footing. When she started to limp forward she felt herself yanked back. She cried out in surprise as she felt herself being swept off her feet and into strong arms.

Garrus quickly lifted her, giving her no time to protest; which he was happy when she didn't. He noticed how surprisingly light she felt in his arms. Pressing forward he was relieved when the exit came into view. He surged forth with a new-found burst of strength with Shepard tightly cradled against him. He could hear her strong commanding voice echo in his ears as she radioed the Normandy. "Normandy, this is Shepard. We need a pick-up immediately."

* * *

><p>Shepard sat in the med bay, her ankle wrapped tightly. Doctor Chakwas was amazed at how little damage her bone had suffered. The armor around her leg had apparently broken and pierced her skin. The gouges looked nasty and required stitches, but they would heal with time. The bone had escaped with only a hairline fracture, which was surprising given the size of the boulder. Despite Chakwas "words of wisdom" she knew she wasn't going to stay off her feet; not a chance. There was still too much to do.<p>

Her head shot up as she heard someone enter the room. It was Garrus. She could make out a slight blush redden over his neck when he saw her, clothed only in underwear. She wasn't sure what he'd expected to see being that she had just been examined by the doctor. Though, he seemed to relax a bit when she shot him an assuring smile, letting him know that she wasn't angry or embarrassed of his unexpected entrance.

"Uh… hey," Garrus started. "Just wanted to… see how you were doing."

Shepard thought to herself how cute Garrus was when he acted all bashful and aloof; which was rather uncharacteristic of their species. "I'm feeling pretty good actually. It'll take more than that to keep me out of the game. Looks like you saved my ass _again_…" She glance down at the floor in front of her. She was never good at these things, and it seemed like she'd been thanking him a lot lately. Relying on others was something she going to have to get use to.

"Happy to help," he replied with a grin.

"Though you did disobey my _order_," she retorted, meeting his eyes with a hardened expression.

"I'm not going to apologize, Shepard. I did what I thought was right. I won't obey bad orders. That's why I left the turian military and C-Sec." He chuckled. "I never considered myself a good turian."

Shepard's eyes widened at this. It was something she had often heard Nihlus say; something about "good turians will follow bad orders". Nihlus had often referred to himself as a bad turian because he would refuse to follow orders he didn't agree with. This had often cause conflicts between him and others in the turian military, and he was never truly accepted. Now here was Garrus, telling her the same thing. It struck something in her heart, something she couldn't seem to shake off.

"Thank you, Garrus," she said with a bittersweet smile, her words holding more than one meaning.


	12. Situational Avoidance

**First of all I just wanted to say _thank you thank you thank you_ for all the awesome reviews! I really have no words for how much they really motivate me. Second of all, enjoy the chapter. It's _slightly_ smaller but the next is already in the works!**

Saren sat alone in the gloom of the ship, turning the small metal tag between the pads of his fingers. The metal shone brightly each time he turned it, reflecting off of the few light sources that adorned Sovereign's interior. Each time it caught the light, he could make out the name that had been etched into its flat surface. _Shepard_. Sometimes when he thought about the human who owned that name, he felt free; free from Sovereign's voice and influence.

"I'm not sure why you obsess over the human," a deep feminine voice came from the darkness. "Commander Shepard is a threat to your cause. She hunts you down to kill you, yet you brood over her, hoping that she'll soon catch up to you." Benezia emerged from the shadows behind him. She moved in close, her hand floating down to lightly caress from his fringe to his mandible. "The human is of no use to you," she said softly.

This woman's interruption and unwanted closeness caused rage to well up inside him. She was a pawn to his plan. That she had the audacity to presume anything more was infuriating. He grabbed her arm in his claws; giving no care as to if he drew blood from her flesh. He pulled her down to face him, and she smiled, her eyes filled with unfulfilled desire. She was captivated by him, that much was obvious. However, he wanted nothing from her except her raw biotic power and influence as a Matriarch. He also wanted the knowledge her daughter possessed of the Protheans, but she was now in the hands of Shepard.

"I have no need for your advice, asari," he snarled. "You just do your job, and _maybe_ I can convince Sovereign to make a place for you when this is over." He released the hold on her arm, pushing her backward forcefully. Scowling, she stormed from the room, leaving Saren to his own thoughts once again.

Turning the piece of metal between his fingers once more, his whispered voice echoed softly in the vast dimness of the room. "Shepard…"

* * *

><p>Shepard shot a right hook at her assailant but his biotic barrier had absorbed the damage. He backed away, but she persisted, coming at him with consistent blows to whittle down the barrier. Hitting her with a Push, he knocked her back but she remained on her feet. "Come on Kaidan, I know your biotics are stronger than that."<p>

Indeed they were, but he couldn't help but hold back despite her instructing him not to. He couldn't bring himself to hit her with any full-force biotics, even if she kicked his ass for it, which he knew she would. She wasn't at her full potential as her foot was still a bit injured from the mission on Therum; however, she was still not to be taken lightly.

She charged at him, throwing another punch that finally broke through his biotic barrier, however, he had managed to block it with his forearm. She shot him a challenging smile. "Your hand-to-hand has improved."

"I learned from the best," he stated with a smirk. However, his expression suddenly changed to shock when he felt a strong blow to his face and, almost simultaneously, his feet kicked out from under him, causing him to land on his back. As his vision attempted to correct itself, he could feel a pressure on his chest and two slender but strong hands gripping his arms to pin them above his head. When the grey haze finally dissipated he could see an amused Shepard staring down at him. She was straddling him high on his chest with his arms immobilized; a perfect pinning move. "Looks like you need more training, Lieutenant," she teased.

He glanced down at her positioning on his chest, her strong lean legs restricting him from any upper body movement. He could glimpse her breasts rise and fall with each breath, perfectly outlined by her fitted tank top. The way she had him restrained caused his mind to swim with stimulating thoughts. "If you don't get off of me, I may need more than just _training_, Commander," he said huskily. His words seemed to take Shepard off guard, because her pale green eyes widened as she considered him.

She couldn't help but chuckle at this rather uncharacteristic declaration. Kaidan was the least of all people she had ever expected to make such a teasing statement. She released his arms and raised herself up to her feet. Extending her arm down to him, she helped him up as well. "Seems like a cold shower is in order, Lieutenant," she said, more for herself as she was now a bit flustered.

"Hey Shepard! How about you spar the turian?" Wrex called out to her. Turing to Garrus who was at his usual post at the mako, the krogan shouted. "Hey Garrus! Shepard needs a sparring partner!"

"Wrex…" Shepard warned with a glare. She knew what the krogan was up to and she didn't approve.

Garrus stepped up to the makeshift sparring ring, his expression inquisitive. Over the past few weeks Shepard had been trickling small amounts of strength equipment into this area, much to the dissatisfaction of the Requisitions Officer. In response to this, the rest of the crew had been gathering bits and pieces of gym equipment, one of which, had been the infamous sparring mat. Shepard regularly encouraged her team to make use of it, to keep their skills sharp. As her leg began to heal, she had been finding herself down here more often, to engage in training and sparring sessions. It had been a great motivator for the rest of the team.

Garrus gave Shepard a questioning look. "You challenging me, Shepard?"

Shepard crossed her arms over her chest, and considered him with an unreadable expression. "I suppose I'm up for kicking some turian ass," she said with a friendly smirk.

"Well… I don't know about _that_," Garrus replied in a suave tone. Already she and Garrus were becoming good friends, often getting their kicks off of teasing one another. It seemed to be becoming their favorite pastime as of late.

Garrus stepped onto the mat and Kaidan took this as his queue to find his way off, which he reluctantly did. Moving to the sidelines, he was soon joined by an interested Ashley, and soon Wrex, who decided to move in closer for a better view of the event.

"I won't take it easy on you, Shepard," Garrus told her. He had no intention of_ letting _her win. To do so would be an insult to her skills. She was strong and an impressive fighter. He respected her too much to not give her a real challenge.

"Good," she said with an imposing grin. She hunched down before him, her stance predatory, like that of a wild creature. Her eyes were filled with anticipation and determination, regarding him much like a potential tasty meal.

They began to circle one another, each one waiting for an opening. Without warning, she lunged forth, rushing past him so she could come around from behind. Agile, like a wild cat, she leapt onto his back. Wrapping her arms around his throat in a choke hold, she encircled his waist with her legs. The sensation around his waist caught him by surprise and, for a brief moment, he questioned if he should fight back. The smooth skin on her legs brushed against the sensitive area, sending shockwaves through his body, and he wondered if she was familiar with this part of turian anatomy enough to use it to her advantage.

She leaned in close to whisper in his ear tauntingly, "What's wrong Vakarian? Did I touch a sweet spot?"

At that moment, he realized she knew perfectly well. He clenched his teeth, forcing his mind back to the fight at hand. Gripping her arms, he managed to pry them free of his neck. He hunched down slightly and pulled her arms forward, flipping her down onto the mat on her back. He could hear a burst of air being forced from her lungs when she hit. It only stunned her for a fraction of a second before he could see the fire flare up in her eyes.

Rolling to the side before Garrus could commence another attack, she made it back onto her feet and into a fighting stance. Garrus immediately charged at her, throwing a punch that made contact with her stomach, and countered it with another to her face. The blows landed hard and she knew that her stomach would suffer a hefty bruise and that her nose would probably start bleeding shortly. Despite the pain that coursed through her body she managed to take advantage of his close proximity and thrust her elbow into him, making contact with his cheek plating and knocking him a few inches backward. She used this opportunity to land a kick to his waist, being careful to use her good leg. He growled as her leg made contact with his sensitive area, but didn't move in for another attack just yet; instead he seemed to be waiting for her to make the next move. She threw a fake punch at his side with the back of one hand, and when he went to block it tossed another at his face, which he successfully blocked as well. His hand clasped around the arm that missed his face, and he yanked her toward him, her back against his chest plating. He held her tightly in a choke hold, one of her arms pinned in front of her.

"Come on, Skipper!" Ashley cheered her on from the sidelines.

She attempted to struggle, however the only thing this accomplished was to grind his hard plates into her back. He was decidedly strong and was able to restrain her securely with seemingly little effort. She still had one arm free, however, which she was quick to use to her advantage. Jabbing her elbow back with all her strength, she could feel it dig into the unplated area of his stomach. This blow caught him off guard and he loosened his grip enough for her to slip from his hold. She used her good foot again to land a kick to his chest.

"Good move Commander!" Kaidan shouted in approval.

"Yeah! Kick that turian's ass!" she heard Ashley cheer again.

The forceful contact her foot had with his chest plating had jarred her a bit, but it had enough impact on Garrus to cause him to stumble back. It gave her the advantage to overpower the turian and she charged, knocking him to the mat, on his back. She made a dive onto him, pinning him to the mat with her body, her feral green eyes regarding him like captured prey. She held her index and middle fingers to his throat menacingly. Blood poured from her nose and the cut on her lip stung like a bitch, but a victorious smile still managed to spread over her lips. He was skilled, but she had still bested him this time. She knew, that in future sparring sessions, they could learn much from one another. They were so evenly matched that she would expect to lose some of the time, but for now, she would allow her competitiveness to take over and enjoy her victory. She applied pressure to his vulnerable neck, digging her fingers into the soft leathery skin there. "If this was a knife, Vakarian, you'd be a goner."

He grinned up at her, his blue eyes filled with mischief. She could feel his hands move to her waist. His fingers dug into her toned sides, drawing a hitched inward breath from her. He chuckled softly at her reaction. "And if not for these gloves, Shepard, _you'd_ be a goner," he said, referring to the ones he often wore to pad his claws.

Her smug smile faded to one of amused surprise. She hadn't won; it was a tie. This turian had skills, perhaps enough to be considered for the Spectres. Maybe, when this was all over, she'd put his name forward to the Council. "So I guess it's a draw then?" she asked with a smirk.

"Seems so," he replied in his deep enticing tone. "You know Shepard… the last time I had a draw with a female, we held the tiebreaker in her quarters." He chuckled.

She arched her eyebrow and grinned at him wickedly. "Is that so?" His flirty tone was getting the better of her, especially in her current position. She could still feel his hands at her waist, gripping onto her tightly. She stared into his stormy blue eyes, searching for any signs of genuine interest. In those few moments the thought of inviting him to _her_ quarters for a "tiebreaker" had crossed her mind more than once.

"_Commander_," Kaidan's angry voiced called out, breaking her from her wayward thoughts. She realized then, that they still had an audience. She quickly pushed herself off of Garrus and onto to her feet. Reaching down, she helped the turian up as well, and they both stood side-by-side grinning sheepishly.

"I guess I should get some work done," Shepard said before sprinting to the elevator.

Wrex threw his elbow out sideways, making a brutal connection with Kaidan's side. The Lieutenant let out a pained grunt and scowled at the krogan. "What was that for?"

"Interrupting," Wrex grunted.

* * *

><p>He pushed her up against the wall with a needy force. Her hand found the soft skin under his fringe and dug her nails in, bringing a purr from him. He nuzzled her neck, letting his sharp teeth brush over her teasingly. Gripping her rear tightly, he thrust himself against her, grinding his arousal into her forcefully. A pleasured cry escaped her as she hooked her legs over his hips and felt his rock-hard member brush against her nether regions.<p>

He looked into her eyes as he entered her, the deep blue and grey of his seemed to pierce her soul. She couldn't tear her eyes away from those blue orbs. The deep blue markings that contrasted his metallic grey plating matched those eyes beautifully. He began moving within her roughly, his desire and need made obvious. She wrapped her arms around his cowl, holding onto him tightly as he pumped his hard cock into her. She could feel herself being pinned between he and the wall forcefully as if he had no intention of letting her take any sort of control over the situation. He wanted to ensure his dominance over her, and win this "tiebreaker". The way he aggressively thrust into her made her head spin. His pleasured growl echoed through her ears as he tightened his grip on her rear, causing an erotic pain to course through her. He moved his head forward and she could feel his teeth clamp down tightly onto her shoulder, holding her in place as he took her aggressively.

"Garrus," she whimpered his name as she felt her peak come extremely close. Her breath suddenly caught in her throat as his grip on her loosened and she felt herself fall unexpectedly. Rather than hitting the floor, as she expected, she almost seemed to not land at all but rather jerk herself into steadiness. Breathing heavily, she glanced around in an almost panic, searching for her lover. Her panic turned to disappointment as she realized that she had been alone in the darkness of her quarters. "A dream..." she sighed.

After a while of tossing and turning, Shepard was finding herself unable to get back to sleep, so she decided to trek over to the mess hall for some coffee or tea. As she stepped into the area she saw Ashley sifting around through the cabinets until she pulled out what she was searching for.

"Hey Skipper, want some tea?" she asked her, shaking a box that she held in her hand. "I was hoping to have some coffee but looks like there's only the instant crap."

"Sure, I'll have some," Shepard replied.

Ashley nabbed a second cup and pulled out two teabags from the box. After tossing them in the cups and filling them with hot water, she set one down in front of each of them.

"Thanks," Shepard said.

The other woman studied her curiously. "What's wrong Skipper? Can't sleep?"  
>"Not really," she replied.<p>

"Hey, if you're worried about the people back on Feros, don't. We did all we could. Some may have died, but more lived, thanks to us," Ashley assured her.

That did, of course, bother her even though it wasn't the reason she couldn't sleep tonight. "I know Ash."

Ashley thought for a moment, remembering the other planet they had hit up in Artemis Tau. She knew that must've hit close to home for Shepard after what had happened to her unit on Akuze. Both events were disturbingly similar. Beacons set up to lure marines into the clutches of thresher maws, the reasons unknown. Out of fifty marines, Shepard was miraculously the only survivor. Seeing Rear Admiral Kahoku's men lured to the same fate would have been hard on the Commander. "Is it what happened to those men on Edolus?"

"No Ash, I'm fine really," Shepard reassured her. "I just have a lot on my mind."

"Okay Skipper," Ashley replied, taking a gulp of her tea.

Shepard, in turn, took a sip from her cup, the taste of the beverage filling her to her core with a satisfied sensation. Earl Grey, it had been a while since she had it but she remembered it well. She looked up at the other woman with a raised brow. "So you can't sleep either?"

"I just got off a call with my sister," she said with a large smile. "She had just seen a news feed about us and had to tell me about it. She also seems to think LT is hot." She chuckled, giving Shepard a mischievous grin.

"Oh yeah?" Shepard looked at her thoughtfully. "And what do _you_ think?"

"Doesn't matter what I think, Skipper," she replied. "Scuttlebutt says he's already sweet on someone."

This peaked Shepard's curiosity. She normally wasn't one for gossip, however, she had always found the Lieutenant difficult to read. "Who?" Shepard pressed.

Ashley smirked devilishly. "You mean you don't know?" Taking a hint from the blank stare she was receiving from the other woman, she continued. "The man's got the hots for _you_, Skipper."

Shepard simply continued to stare at her blankly, unsure of how to respond to her accusations. Kaidan had never seemed to show any interest in her other than a friend and colleague. IF she had a habit of reading too far into things, perhaps there could have been some small indications, but not enough for her to believe he had the "hots" for her.

"I'm not too sure about that, Ash," she said doubtfully.

"Come on! Have you _seen_ the way he looks at you? The whole crew's been talking!" Ashley shot her a wicked grin. "So I'm guessing the part about him sneaking into your cabin at night is false?"

"Of course it's false!" Shepard raised her voice defensively.

"I think you should go for it, Skipper," Ashley urged.

"Go for what?" another female voice chimed in. Tali appeared from around the corner, behind Shepard, having just exited the elevator.

"Oh, we were just having a discussion about Shepard's sex life," Ashley informed the quarian.

"Shepard!" Tali exclaimed excitedly. "Are you sleeping with Garrus?"

Shepard's breath caught in her throat and her eyes widened in surprise at that question. Images from her erotic dream suddenly flashed into her mind and she quickly dismissed them as they came.

"_No_," Ashley snapped irritably. "We were talking about _Alenko_."

Tali glanced at the Commander questionably. "But Shepard, I thought you liked Garrus."

Ashley's mouth dropped open. "Garrus?" She turned her gaze to the woman seated across from her. "No way… right?"

"Uhh…" was the only response Shepard could utter at the moment, her usual tact having unexplainably dissipated. She could feel two sets of questionable eyes scrutinizing her, waiting for an answer.

"Commander." Joker's voice was a sweet interruption as it sounded over the mess hall comm system.

"Yes Joker?" Shepard responded almost too enthusiastically.

"Commander, you're needed in the cockpit," Joker informed her.

"Sorry, gotta go ladies," Shepard chirped. She quickly downed the rest of her cooling beverage before making her escape to the stairs. She was so glad to get away from that uncomfortable conversation and inquisitive stares that she nearly skipped to the cockpit.

Joker seemed to sense her presence almost immediately as she entered. "Hey Commander. Just wanted to let you know we'll be arriving at the Citadel in approximately two hours," he told her as he plugged away at his consol.

She waited for him to say something more, however, he did not. "Is that all you wanted me for?"

"Well that and I figured you needed rescuing," he replied with a shrug.

For once she wasn't going to scold him for his eavesdropping as it just saved her from extreme unpleasantness. "Thanks Joker," she murmured.

"Anytime Commander," the pilot said with a grin.


	13. Among Friends

**The next chapter is finally out! I'm a few days later than my usual, but I'm making up for it with an extra long chapter. I was thinking about splitting into two, but couldn't find a good leave-off for the first part, so I just kept it together. As usual, thank you for the great reviews! I love when I see them in my inbox! :)**

The Normandy's crew had been given a couple of days shore leave while docked at the Citadel. Shepard's work was, of course, never finished. First and foremost she wanted to report to Rear Admiral Kahoku to give him the dire news about his missing marines. Shepard was prepared to do whatever she could to further aid the Admiral in finding the culprit behind the beacons. After that she wanted to make sure they stocked up on gear and any available upgrades to what they already had. Everyone else was free to go about their business until departure. However, those who wanted were also invited to Flux later for free drinks, compliments of the Commander. She figured it would be a great morale booster and an opportunity for the crew to relax a bit. The plans were set and the crew relieved of their duties.

When most of the team had departed, Garrus stayed behind. Shepard gave him and inquisitive glance. "No business to take care of, Garrus?"

"Not really. I'm done with C-Sec so there's really nothing else for me here," he pointed out. "If you wouldn't mind I'd rather tag along with you."

Shepard nodded her approval. She felt unusually comfortable with the turian since he'd joined her team. So much so that she rarely kept him out of her squad. Not only was he a fantastic marksman, but the two of them got along extremely well, like old friends. It was a bit different than it had been with Nihlus. While she and Nihlus were close, it had taken them some time to get to that point. With Garrus, it felt almost instinctual. They just clicked.

The pair swiftly made their way to the Citadel Tower to find the Rear Admiral. He was, of course, in his usual location, still attempting to get an audience with the Council, and to no avail. When Shepard informed him of the fate of his marines, he seemed quite distressed. He had seemingly found out some additional information, which he was reluctant to divulge in public. He was also fairly certain that a secret terrorist organization was hunting him down in an attempt to silence him. He told Shepard that he would send her the information and details of the organization through a secure channel, as it had eyes everywhere. After being awarded with a few credits for her continued aid, she and Garrus began making their way out of the Tower. Just as they were about to exit to the Presidium, Shepard pass a familiar face that turned back to them in near shock.

"Shepard, I wasn't aware you were visiting the Citadel," Valern said somewhat irritably.

After cursing inwardly at the fact she had been spotted, she turned to the Councilor and forced a smile. "I figured I'd drop in to take care of some business and restock, Councilor. I wasn't aware that I needed to inform the Council of each time I did so."

"I see…" he glanced from her to the turian that was standing next to her. "And who is your _friend_?" he inquired snidely.

It had taken him a moment, but Garrus was finally able to place the other turian's scent. It was the one he had sensed on Shepard that night he pulled her from the Presidium lake. He never would have guessed it had belonged to the Councilor. Valern had been known for his great dislike for humanity. Granted, Shepard wasn't just _any_ human, however the Councilor didn't seem the type to easily dismiss his prejudices.

She glared at the Councilor, disapproving of the lack of respect he was showing to his fellow turian. "This is Garrus Vakarian, my team mate and good friend," she replied bitingly.

"Ah yes… the ex-officer who quit C-Sec to chase after the 'Reapers'." He made certain to air quote the name of the alien race, ostensibly because it irritated Shepard and typically roused a reaction from her. "I believe your father is most displeased with your choice, young Vakarian."

Garrus crossed his arms over his chest. "I don't see how that is anyone's business but my own."

Ignoring his response, Valern switched his attention back to Shepard, his demeanor softening slightly as he regarded her. "Shepard, it would be most appreciated if you could stop by my office before you depart. I have some matters I would like to discuss with you."

"I will make an attempt to do so," she muttered.

"See that you do…" He shot a challenging glance at Garrus before striding off.

"I know it's probably none of my business, Shepard," Garrus told her. "But, I don't believe his intentions are as innocent as he claims."

"I know what his intentions are." She turned on her heels and peered at him. "Walk with me?"

"Certainly," he responded, falling into step beside her as they left for the Presidium.

* * *

><p>They walked the clean pathways of the Presidium for a time. The brightness of the artificial sunlight shined down on the lakes, creating a sparkle effect in the ripples. For a while they tread in silence before Shepard decided to speak.<p>

"You know, I never really told anyone the real reason I'm hunting down Saren," she stated.

Garrus stared straight ahead as they continued to follow the path before them. "You did say it was personal. I never thought it was my place to question it."

A pensive smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. "Saren was my mentor, and before that, my lover."

Garrus stared at her in shock. For one, it amazed him how much he had been finding out, as of late, about her interest in turians. For another, he couldn't believe that she had found herself mixed up with two human-hating members of the race, one of them being the esteemed Councilor, and the other being the rogue Spectre. "So what happened?"

"I'm not sure," she admitted. "He changed somehow."

"Changed?" Garrus sneered. "From what I've heard about Saren, he'd always been quite ruthless."

"As a Spectre, yes... but as a man, a turian, he had a soft side that he preferred not to show," she interjected. "I believe that Councilor Valern found out about our relationship and ordered that another Spectre, my good friend Nihlus, take over my evaluation."

"Nihlus?" Garrus gasped. "The one Saren had murdered on Eden Prime?"

Shepard stared blankly ahead, fighting back the tears she feared might come. "It was right before that, that Saren changed," she continued. "I really can't explain how or why, but the warmth that had been there was gone. And that was the last I saw of him. Afterwards, I came to recognize my feelings I had been harboring for Nihlus." She smiled wistfully, remembering the short time they shared. "Being good friends-turned-lovers I think it had taken us longer than it should have to realize our deeper feelings. By that time, it was too late, and Saren took his life."

He could see her expression harden as she tried to suppress the other emotions that threatened to flow forth; emotions that Commander Shepard preferred not to show. But for a brief moment, he could see the woman hidden under the Commander's mask, and she was beautiful.

"The insignia you retrieved for me... that was Nihlus's," she informed him.

"I'm surprised his family didn't demand that it be returned to them," Garrus added curiously.

"He didn't have much family. His mother sent him away to the turian military at a very young age so that she wouldn't have to deal with him," she pointed out. "And he never knew his father."

As they continued to walk side-by-side she glanced up at him. "What about you Garrus? You never speak of your family."

Garrus chuckled. "Not really much to say there. I have a sister, Sol, who currently lives with my mother on Palaven. My father… is a revered C-Sec officer whose plans for me were to follow in his footsteps."

"Ah... so that's why your father is unhappy about you leaving C-Sec," she surmised.

Garrus nodded. "He's a very by-the-book type of guy. He strongly opposes of the Spectres and was sure to block my candidacy."

Shepard gazed at him in shock. "You were going to join the Spectres?" This was a bit of information she wasn't aware of.

"Well, I was going to apply after taking a special training course to prepare. However, my father kept me from doing so. He doesn't trust them, and doesn't believe that _anyone_ should be able to operate outside the law."

"That's a bit unfair of him to hold _you_ back because of a predefined judgment. Not all Spectres are like Saren."

Garrus stopped suddenly and placed a hand on her shoulder, turning her to look at him. His eyes burned brightly, overflowing with youthful zeal. "That's exactly my thought, Shepard!" he declared. "If only he could meet_ you_. You're the perfect example of what a Spectre should be."

She blushed slightly. "Well I don't know about _that_."

"It's true," Garrus gushed. "You're quite the inspiration. I'd follow you into hell, Shepard."

Regarding him with unabashed pride, she said determinately, "Garrus, when this is over I'm going to put your name forward for Spectre consideration."

Garrus shot her a surprised expression. "Well I can't say I wouldn't be honored, but do you really think I'm Spectre material?"

"I know so," she assured him. "You're very skilled Garrus. And I know there's a great leader hiding under those plates. You just need to build up your confidence."

He grinned, puffing his chest out at the compliments. "Thanks Shepard."

* * *

><p>That night, Flux was a lively place, with the Normandy's whole crew, with the exception of Joker, having shown up for what may be their last bit of shore leave for some time. Shepard made good on her word, covering the tab for everyone. She knew it would be hefty, but well worth it. And of course, she intended to drink her fair share. Looking about the club, it appeared that everyone was having a good time. It warmed her heart to see the human crew taking so well to her alien squad members. Even Ashley appeared to be making her best attempt at keeping Liara, who was hesitant to come at all, engaged in conversation. The Gunnery Chief, who had initially been quick to tease the awkward asari, was now seemingly fond of her. It was fantastic to see everyone putting aside their discriminations to engage in some fun. Everyone, except Wrex who chose to remain in full armor, donned their civilian clothes and prepared for a night of reverie.<p>

"Hey T'Soni," Ashley grinned at Liara. "Asari dance right?"

Liara stiffened nervously in her chair, glancing up at the lighted dance floor. "W-we do but..."

Before she could finish, Ashley jumped from her chair and grabbed the asari by the sleeve. "Great! Let's see your moves!" She glanced at the rest of the squad with a grin. "Anyone else up for some fun? Tali?"

"Uh... well sure..." Tali responded hesitantly.

"Skipper?"

Shepard shook her head and raised her glass. "I'm gonna need a few more of these first." Watching the other women head off to the dance floor, Shepard smiled to herself. Downing the rest of her drink, she glanced around the table at her remaining team and saw their glasses had been emptied as well.

"Another round for you guys?" she offered. After receiving a collective agreement, she sauntered up to the bar and placed the drink order to the volus bartender.

"Commander Shepard!" exclaimed a man who had just received his round of drinks from the volus.

She turned to see a young human civilian regarding her with bright brown eyes. "And you are?"

"I knew it was you!" he exclaimed. "M'name's Curt and I'm a _huge_ fan of yours!"

"Is that so?" she beamed.

"Definitely! You're a hero!" Curt blushed slightly, a sheepish smile creeping over his face. "Commander, please join me in a shot. I got some extra Viper Rounds," he said referring to the drink.

"Anything for a fan," she said with a smile, taking the green-hued drink he was offering her.

Curt, after downing his drink, gave her a look of admiration. "Thank you Commander! My buddies will be impressed!"

"Anytime, kid," she said with a smile. Turning back to the bar, she saw that the bartender had the drinks waiting for her. Grabbing up the tray she quickly returned to the table to rejoin Garrus, Wrex, and Kaidan.

* * *

><p>After a few more rounds, Shepard was beginning to feel wired. Alcohol usually affected her as such, however this time something felt off. She felt... energized. The electronica music played in her ears, making her feel extremely good. It was so tantalizing that she was having a difficult time concentrating on the discussions around the table. She suddenly felt rather compelled to dance, the music reverberating through her whole body deliciously. Rising up from her chair, she tugged on Garrus's arm.<p>

"Come dance with me." It came out more as an order than a request.

Garrus looked around hesitantly. "Uh… sorry Shepard, I don't dance." The pouty look she gave him made him feel a bit guilty, however, he wasn't lying. He hated dancing, as most turians did.

She shot a glare at the other two men at the table, daring them to reject her as well. Wrex shifted uncomfortably in his seat, trying his best to avoid her stare.

Kaidan took this as his chance and, rising from his chair, he grabbed her arm. "Come on, Shepard. I'll dance with you."

Before following after the Lieutenant, she glanced at Garrus, hoping to see a hint of jealousy in his eyes, however, her heart fell when she had seen none present.

_Fine_, she fumed as she let Kaidan lead her to the dance floor. She wasn't going to allow his disinterest ruin her night. She apparently had a very interested party here, already and that was fine with her.

The music rumbled soothingly in her ears as she moved, like the alluring hum of a lover. The movement of her body and the sweet rhythm of the trance music strongly reminded her of sex. It was becoming tormenting. She could feel Kaidan brush up against her slightly, the sensation causing shockwaves to surge through her. Something didn't feel right while at the same time, everything felt right. She wondered if the Lieutenant would be offended if she danced a bit closer to him. When she moved up against him, Kaidan seemed to be anything but offended as his hands encircled her hips.

_Wow I must be drunk_, she thought as her head fogged up with a sexual haze. Right now, she was ultimately enjoying every sensation, every sound. So much so that it was hard to concentrate on anything else that was going on around her. She teasingly tugged at the rim of his pants, using it as leverage to keep his warm body against her hypersensitive one. She couldn't help but glance over at their table to observe Garrus's stunned reaction.

Kaidan's lips brushed against her ear and he could feel her shudder in response. He wasn't sure what had come over the Commander, but he wasn't complaining. She was certainly making his advances much easier at the moment.

"I think I may need a cold shower after _this_," he whispered teasingly.

A wicked grin spread over her lips. "Hmm... sounds fun" she purred.

* * *

><p>Ashley, Liara, and Tali strolled out of the women's restroom, engaged in a heated conversation about the Commander's love life and potential suitors. Ashley was dead-set on Kaidan being the best choice for Shepard, while on the other hand, Liara and Tali both had their votes on Garrus. They each had good reasons to back their choices, which they were more than happy to voice. However, their discussion was soon cut short when Ashley paused, and raised her hand, begging for silence.<p>

"You sure took care of that Shepard bitch," said a scornful voice from a nearby table.

Another man laughed in response. "Party's just started, boys. With that double dose of Hallex I slipped her, she'll be easy. Alliance won't recognize her when we're done with her."

"She never saw it coming."

"That's what the whore gets for murdering Finch."

Ashley looked at the other two women fearfully. "You hear that?"

"A bit hard not to," Liara commented.

"We have to warn Shepard," Tali chimed in.

As they made their way through the dancing crowd of people, they were able to spot Shepard and Kaidan, who were dancing almost too inappropriately for any club other than Chora's Den or Afterlife. When Kaidan caught sight of the female swarm closing in on them, he immediately released his hold on her. For a moment he thought he was going to be flogged by a mob of angry women due to his indecent behavior. Shepard, on the other hand, was all smiles as they approached.

"Are you guys gonna dance with us?" she yelled over the music.

"Come on Skipper, I think you've had enough fun," Ashley said as she took her by the shoulders and led her away from the dance floor with Kaidan, Liara, and Tali in tow.

"What's wrong with Shepard?" Garrus demanded when they reached the table.

"Some bastard slipped her Hallex," Ashley said angrily, her expression overlaid with contempt. "Two doses from the sound of it."

Shepard's eyes widened. "Oh my, is that why I feel tingly? I thought it was the shots." She picked up and empty glass from the table and inspected it curiously. She shoved the glass into one of Kaidan's hands. "Maybe I need more of those to counteract the effects," she suggested with an intoxicated grin.

"Who did this?" Garrus growled furiously.

Liara motioned to a table that sat near the restrooms where a group of men were now glaring in their direction, seemingly irritated at the interference. Garrus growled low and guttural, staring at them with his predatory avian eyes. He was about to pull off his padded gloves when he felt a small warm body shoved up against him.

"Garrus, now isn't the time to fight," Ashley told him as she pushed Shepard into him. "We need you to get Shepard out of here and back to the Normandy before anything goes wrong."

"I'm going too," Kaidan demanded. He didn't trust Garrus alone with her, especially not with her in this state.

"What are you guys talking about? I'm not going anywhere." Shepard scowled, moving away from Garrus.

"Commander, you can't stay here, it's not safe," Kaidan told her. "I doubt those guys drugged you just for laughs."

"Kaidan's right," Ashley agreed. "I overheard their conversation."

"What about the crew?" Shepard asked, raising her concern.

"We'll keep an eye on everyone. Nobody will even know you're gone," Tali assured her.

Shepard stood unmoving, trying to rationalize with herself. Something was telling her that she _should_ go back to the Normandy, however the hazy, drugged part of her brain desired otherwise. After some inner conflict, she decided to go with the rational decision. "Okay, fine."

Shepard allowed herself to be led by Garrus and Kaidan out of the club. Her mind felt foggy, which made it hard to walk without stumbling, the mix of alcohol and the drug doing a number on her senses. They had almost made it to the Lower Wards when they heard a shout behind them.

"Hey _Commander_! We got some unfinished business."

They turned to see three rather hostile humans, one she recognized as being Curt, her "fan" from Flux. He grinned scornfully, taking pleasure in her expression as she came to the realization that it was him who had drugged her. "What's wrong _Commander_? Not feeling too well?"

"Fuck you," she hissed.

"There will be time for that. Though I doubt you'll live through it."

"Why are you doing this?" Kaidan demanded.

"Your little whore killed Finch," one of Curt's men cried angrily.

"Finch?" Shepard growled. "What does that have to do with _you_?"

"He went to you to get me out of trouble with the damn turians. And _you _shot him." Hatred was thoroughly present in his gaze as he regarded her and her companions.

"Curt…" she thought out loud. "Curt Weisman?" Shepard's eyes narrowed threateningly. "_You_ poisoned medical cargo that was meant for a turian colony! There was no way I would help _you_."

"Finch was your _friend_. But I guess you figured you were too good for him; too good for the Reds."

"Finch was never my _friend_," she spat.

"That's not what everyone else will think when they see this," he said tossing a plastic card at her.

She picked it up and studied it glaringly. It was a printed picture, one that had been taken of her and some of the 10th Street Reds gang back on Earth; one of them being Finch. She didn't know much about Finch back then, other than the fact he was a show-off and a braggart. For the most part, she avoided him, but this picture might suggest otherwise to anyone who didn't know better.

"There are more where that came from," he sneered. "Will anyone trust you when they learned you belonged to an alien hate-group?"

"Hmm… this is becoming rather reminiscent of the discussion I had with Finch before I blew his brains out," she scoffed.

Curt was visibly clenching his jaw, rage darkening his features. A knife instantly became visible in his hand as the mechanical blade shot forth. "Let's teach this bitch a lesson," he said to the two men that flanked him.

Garrus and Kaidan both grabbed Shepard and pulled her back behind them, protectively. They readied themselves, both prepared for a head-on charge from the gang members. The lack of weapons and armor was going to make this and interesting fight. However, the charge never came… at least not at them. From behind the men they could hear a threatening roar. Almost as instantly, an armored krogan charged through them, scattering them to the floor like a wrecking ball through a knick knack shelf.

"Wrex!" Kaidan exclaimed.

Wrex gave a hearty krogan laugh. "Saw these guys leaving right after you. Figured they were up to no good." His eyes met Garrus and Kaidan. "You guys get out of here, I'll finish cleaning up the trash."

"No way!" Shepard growled, pushing through her two guards. "I want this one," she demanded, glaring down at Curt, who was lying on his stomach.

"You gonna kill me, like you did to Finch?" he spat.

"No, but I'll teach you a nice lesson you won't forget…" she said dangerously. "Anyone got any rope?"

* * *

><p>As the group made their way to the Alliance spaceport elevator, Shepard began to feel overly hot and dizzy. Stumbling, she was caught by two strong arms that held her upright. "I'm thirsty," she murmured.<p>

"We should get her to the Normandy, fast," she heard Kaidan say. "Wrex can you go back to the club and get Chakwas?" Wrex grunted in affirmation before heading back in the direction of Flux, while the rest of them continued on to the docking bay.

* * *

><p>Joker leaned back in his chair, watching the arrivals board the Normandy. "Hey guys! How was the party?" He saw Garrus and Kaidan boarding together, with Garrus carrying a lucid Shepard in his arms. "The Commander have too much to drink?"<p>

"You could say that," Kaidan told him. Joker just shook his head and turned back around to his consol, grumbling about why he doesn't attend such events, while they headed towards the back of the ship.

"Kaidan, you go get her water and some ice while I take her to her quarters," Garrus ordered.

Kaidan hesitated, not trusting the turian enough to leave them alone. _It'll only be for a few minutes, _he figured. _What could happen?_

Garrus immediately headed for her quarters. He could tell she was much more conscious because her fingers were currently working magic under his fringe. Though difficult, he tried to ignore it for now. At the moment he was too concerned about her health to think about... She grinned up at him seductively, her eyes burning with desire and lust. He could feel his plates beginning to shift, despite his best attempts to stay in control. Prying his eyes away from her, he charged full-speed into her quarters and plopped her down onto the bed.

"What are you going to do with me now, officer?" she purred.

Ignoring her tantalizing voice, he looked about her quarters searchingly. He spotted a small sink in the corner. Managing to find a small towel, he immediately doused it in cool water. Turning back to her, he hesitated, staring open-mouthed. She sat upon the bed, mostly unclothed except for the nearly pointless undergarments that humans seemed to wear.

"S-Shepard, don't you think you should leave your clothes on?" he stammered nervously.

"I was hot. Besides, not like you've never seen me in my underwear."

_Your other "underwear" covered more_, he groaned to himself.

"Here, put this on your head. This normally helps humans cool off, right?" Forcing all erotic thoughts to the back of his mind, he pushed her down onto her back and placed the folded wet towel over her head. However, he suddenly felt himself being drug down on top of her, and despite her drugged state, she was still very strong. He could feel her hands slip down to his waist where her fingers lightly caressed along the dip above his hips.

"I want you, Garrus," she hummed, leaning up to lick his mandible.

Even though he knew it was only the Hallex talking, those words from her mouth struck a chord in him. No matter how successful he had been at keeping his plates from completely shifting, it was all lost now. He could feel his arousal straining against his thin civilian clothes, the tight fabric proving itself to be quite unforgiving. He peered down at her, so ready and willing beneath him. The scent of her arousal was strong in his nostrils and he wanted nothing more than to take her; to feel her soft warm body as he moved inside her. He growled low and lustfully, just loud enough for her to hear. The honorable part of him was the only thing that was keeping him from ripping off their remaining clothes and entering her violently.

"Garrus!" he heard voice shout. The voice struck him as a challenge from another male, and he roared territorially, glaring at the intruder. "Get off her Vakarian," Kaidan demanded angrily, grabbing the turian by the cloth on his back and forcing him off of her.

Gradually regaining his composure, he glared down at the human, trying to suppress his instinctual rage. "It's not what you think, Kaidan," Garrus assured him defensively.

"I'm sure it's _exactly_ as I think," Kaidan spat. He turned his attention to Shepard, who stared at them disappointedly. His expression softened when he regarded her. "Are you alright Shepard?"

"I _was _fine_…" _she muttered.

Oblivious to the meaning behind her words he turned to Garrus with a scowl. "I can take over from here." He picked up the glass of water and the bag of ice he had left on the desk when he entered, and brought them over to her. She took them from him, gulping the water down quickly. Kaidan felt a blush warm over his face as he noticed her current lack of attire. He felt slightly ashamed, but he couldn't resist admiring the view.

"I'm not leaving," Garrus growled, noticing the other man's wandering eyes.

"Neither am I. Especially not with what you just tried to pull."

Garrus opened his mouth to protest, but no words came out. He knew what the situation had looked like, and any objection just wouldn't be believed, understandably of course. Really, if the Lieutenant hadn't have interrupted, he was certain he wouldn't have backed down. Rather than try to argue, he grabbed a light blanket that lay neatly folded at the end of her bed and placed it around her.

The feeling of it against her skin caused her to shudder. She couldn't believe how sensitive her skin was and how easily her mind was drifting into perversion. It was exciting and frightening all at the same time; though mainly frightening because she wasn't sure how she was going to rid herself of these feelings. She needed a way to clear her mind, and the only way she could probably accomplish that would be to find release. Either that, or wait it out, which would likely result in her insanity. Forcing herself to focus for a few moments, she decided to consider her options. She was more than eager to find that release with Garrus, however she was still unsure of his feelings toward her in that manner. From what it seemed, he cared for her as a friend, but any more was uncertain. He may be willing to indulge her for the sake of friendship and loyalty, but there was no telling what the repercussions would be... even though that was far from her mind when she was about to molest him a few moments ago. Kaidan, on the other hand, seemed very interested. That much was clear by his actions on the dance floor and according to the rumors among the crew. However, Kaidan was also a friend; one of whom her feelings weren't certain beyond that point. She was attracted to him, sure. What woman in her right mind wouldn't be? However, _if_ there was nothing else behind it, she would be damned before she'd use him for her own satisfaction. All this rationalizing was making her already befuddled brain hurt.

"Hey uh… guys," Joker's voice sounded over the comm. "Wrex is here with Chakwas. They're heading your way now."

"Thanks Joker," Kaidan responded.

"What did you call Chakwas here for?" Shepard questioned them.

"We weren't sure what else we could do for you." Garrus's voice was filled with concern.

"I'm fine, really. The water and ice is helping."

"Well keep that blanket on for now, else Alenko won't be able to contain himself." He glanced at Kaidan's pants and chuckled sarcastically at the man's obvious arousal.

"I'm apparently not the one we should be worried about!" Kaidan warned, nodding towards Garrus's similar state. "You're the one who tried to take advantage of her."

Garrus was going to reply, but his counterattack was interrupted by a loud voice entering the room. "I got the doctor, where do you want her?" Wrex asked. The two men turned to see the krogan standing in the doorway, with Doctor Chakwas draped over his arms.

"By the spirits, Wrex!" Garrus shouted. "What did you do to her?"

"Bah! She was like this when I found her. Old girl can't hold her liquor, I suppose. Out like a light." Wrex shrugged. "So where should I toss her? She's no good to you right now."

"Put her in the med bay," Garrus instructed. "Gently."

As the krogan sauntered off, Shepard stood up from the bed. "I have to go," she stated.

"You're not going anywhere in your condition," Garrus ordered.

Kaidan placed his hands on her shoulders in an attempt to coax her into sitting back down. The feeling shot bolts of pleasure through her body and she couldn't suppress the whimpered moan that escaped her lips. It was getting worse. It probably wouldn't have been so bad if she had consumed a single dose, but with two surging through her system, any little thing was going to set her off at this rate.

"Sorry Shepard," Kaidan said apologetically, a slight blush coloring his face.

Shepard's mind felt as if it was a tempest of desire and need. If these two men in her room weren't her friends and crew, she'd take them both in an instant. Unfortunately, even given the fact that they were, the thought lingered.

"Shepard, please lie down and try to sleep it off," Kaidan urged softly.

_Sleep it off, my ass_, she scoffed. There was no way she could sleep with so much energy coursing through her and hormones raging like a krogan in a breeding camp. _I have to get out of here!_ Her body screamed, fighting against the logical part of her brain that was being painfully oppressed. She was out of control, and not being in control terrified her. She needed to release the tension and frustration that was eating away at her and keeping her mind clouded in a perpetual fog.

Garrus flicked his head towards the door, indicating to Kaidan that they should leave before any more uncomfortable situations arose. "I'll be outside your door if you need anything, Shepard," he assured her.

"_Both_ of us," Kaidan corrected him with venomous eyes.

The two of them left, leaving Shepard sitting on her bed, alone and confused. As she contemplated in the solitary darkness of her quarters, her mind was in turmoil, a battlefield of conflict. She had made her decision, but pushing herself to carry out her plan was becoming rather difficult. Moments ago she had used her omni-tool to send a message and had promptly received a reply. There was no turning back.

* * *

><p>Shepard was able to sneak out of her room through the vents. At least she had enough of her mind left to find the front of the ship. She had made Joker promise he wouldn't tell anyone she had left, specifically Garrus and Kaidan. She couldn't face their scrutiny, nor could she allow them the knowledge of how weak she really was at this point. She found herself half-stumbling through the Presidium streets. It was relatively dark at this time of night, the synthetic "sun" having been dimmed for its six hours of downtime. There were no signs of the denizens that had often made the Presidium their place of idling during the day. It was peaceful, yet she felt unsettled. Even as she reached the door at the address she had received on her omni-tool, she contemplated turning back.<p>

A familiar turian with intricate markings answered the door, the look on his face filled with pride and desire. "Shepard," he purred. "I knew you would come see me eventually, but why now?" He could smell the strong scent of pheromones emanating from her, making her reason for being here quite obvious. That scent alone was enough to cause his plates to shift instantaneously.

"Does it matter? I'm here. That's what you wanted wasn't it, Valern?" Her eyes met his, burning with a mix of distaste and lust. She pressed her hand against his chest, pushing him into the lavish apartment and letting the door slide close behind her.

"What about your young boyfriend? What was his name… _Vakarian_?"

She narrowed her eyes at him. "He's not my _boyfriend_."

"Hmm… good to know that I won't have to kill him if he comes searching for you." He leaned into her, breathing in her familiar womanly scent. Much like the last time, it mingled with the aroma of alcohol and it caused him to chuckle slightly.

"_What?_" she asked irritably.

"I am just wondering if you will ever be visiting me when you are sober."

"Not likely," she responded breathlessly as his hot breath fluttered over her neck. She gripped the cloth at his waist in her fingers, drawing him closer. Her tongue shot out, flicking against his throat and he groaned in approval. Her hands immediately began working at the fastenings of his clothes, removing them quickly and, in turn, he assisted her in the removal of her own. Shoving him towards a nearby couch, she pressed down on him, forcing him to sit. She leapt onto his lap and straddled him, her eyes alight with a burning lust.

"Not wasting any time are you, Shepard?"

"Shut up," she ordered, shoving her tongue into his mouth. His rough tongue tangled with hers hungrily, lapping up the sweet wet taste of her. Her head spun, passion and desire overtaking what little control she had remaining over her body. She could feel his hardened member brushing against her stomach as it stood at attention, waiting to penetrate. The feeling of it caused her to moan into his mouth, and in response, he lifted her rear and impaled her swiftly with his length. He slid in easily, her tightness welcoming him with burning need. They groaned lustily in unison as she moved on his cock with a driving force. She had so much pent up energy and desire that needed to be released that she couldn't slow her movements if she wanted to. Tearing her mouth from his she moved to his neck, licking and sucking frantically. His growls and grunts of pleasure echoed through her ears and she bit down him hard, provoking an aroused a roar from deep within his chest. She could taste his blood on her tongue, slightly tangy and more metallic than that of a human.

This act of aggression from her drove him into a feral frenzy. Picking her up, he flipped their positions and lifted her legs onto his cowl, driving into her once again. In this position, she was much tighter around him. Her erotic cries and whimpers heightened his enticement as he took her. As he pumped his cock into her in quick but steady movements he could feel her tremble around him as she reached her peak, only barely chipping away at her libido.

* * *

><p>Valern could hear the sound of rustling close by. He raised himself up to find the pale-haired soldier dressing at the edge of his bed. He wasn't entirely sure at what point they had made it to the bedroom, however he was fairly certain that they hadn't ceased their coupling to do so. After several hours of continuous lovemaking she was finally spent. He had never seen a human with so much stamina. Not that he had ever slept with another human, however, he doubted many of them had as much endurance as this woman. He watched as she slipped her shirt over her head and stood to pull her pants over slender hips. An unintentional purr escaped him and she turned at the sound.<p>

"Thank you for your hospitality, Councilor. However, I must return to my ship. We'll be departing the Citadel today," she said, her voice sounding much more controlled than it had hours ago. As he searched her green eyes he could no longer see the undeniable lust that had existed during their hours-long union.

"When can I anticipate your return?" he purred.

"Don't," she said flatly. "This won't occur again."

He growled deep in his throat, his eyes narrowing ferociously. So that's how it was? She was just going to use and discard him at her will? Not a chance. He rose up and charged at her before she could react, pinning her against the opposite wall. There was no fear in her eyes, nothing except collective calm could he see there. Her lack of intimidation angered him even more and he roared, baring his teeth. "You will return to me, Shepard. I guarantee it," he snarled before releasing her and turning away. Without saying anything more, she gathered her remaining belongings and headed to the door, barely turning to glance at him before she left. As the door closed behind her Valern's fist met the door hard, a growl rumbling deep in his throat.


	14. Of Bugs and Their Song

**As usual, thank you for the fantastic reviews! I am obsessively chugging along with my weekly releases. :)**

Garrus and Kaidan sat together at the mess table, their worry and anxiety heightening with every moment. It was very early in the morning at 0400 hours, and there was no sign of Shepard. The two of them had both fallen asleep outside her cabin to ensure nobody goes in and _she_ doesn't come out. Apparently the second part of that plan hadn't worked out so well. Garrus, who had awoken first, decided to check on her, only to find that she had disappeared without a trace. The only means of escape she could have used were the ducts, and after many threats they had finally gotten Joker to admit she had left late last night. Garrus desperately wanted to search for her but had no real clues on where to begin. Instead, they decided to wait it out a few more hours. And that's when they heard Joker.

"Hey guys, the Commander is on her way down."

"Thanks Joker," Kaidan replied. He released a discontented sigh. He wasn't prepared for how this was going to play out. Kaidan knew well enough not to question Shepard's personal decisions. Sure, he didn't agree with her leaving, and it most certainly worried him. But he wasn't at the liberty to tell her what to do. Garrus, on the other hand, had a different opinion. The turian was clearly both troubled and irate. He could tell Garrus had no intention of holding back. He also knew Shepard would not simply stand around and take a reprimand.

When Shepard reached the floor, her initial intention was to sneak by and into her quarters, avoiding confrontation. However, she was quickly spotted as if her arrival was expected. _Damn Joker!_ She turned to find Garrus staring at her, his expression quickly turning from relief to rage. Growling low in his throat, he stalked up to her and grabbed her roughly by the shoulders. Staring into her eyes he could see an unreadable emotion hidden behind her cool exterior.

"I can smell his taint all over you," he snarled. "Why?"

She narrowed her eyes in challenge. She didn't have to ask how he knew it was the Councilor she had been with. Turians could easily identify people by scent. But the fact that he would be so bothered by her actions left her livid. "What do you care?" she spat, wrenching herself from his strong grip.

His mouth opened to respond but no sound came out. He could see shame in her eyes as she stared back at him, but the stony expression on her face didn't falter. Despite the effects of the Hallex, he couldn't believe she would go to the Councilor. In a way, he had hoped that last night's encounter in her quarters, may have meant something. That she wanted him wasn't just due to the drug. He knew of her attraction to turians, but whether or not she wanted _him_ was still a mystery. And the idea of her sleeping with Valern filled him with an unexplainable rage.

Kaidan finally regained his composure enough to step forward, concern present in his eyes. "What's going on Commander? What's Garrus talking about?"

Shepard felt the fury building up inside her. Who did they think they were to challenge her personal decisions? She was single. It was nobody's business but her own who she slept with. "Apparently Garrus disapproves of my sex life." When he continued to stare at her blankly, the conversation still lost on him, she reiterated, "I fucked the turian Councilor, Kaidan."

Kaidan peered back at her, slack-jawed. He wasn't sure what to think, let alone how to respond, so he chose to remain silent.

"I shouldn't have to explain myself, but I didn't have too many other choices," she continued. "The effects of the drug were too much to handle and I was losing it. In the state I was in, there was no knowing what I would do, maybe to one of you."

"So you chose the Councilor…" Garrus growled. He had to force himself from adding _"over me" _to the end of that statement. He wasn't certain why a part of him may have thought she might have wanted him. He was merely a young and inexperienced ex-C-Sec officer, not a Councilor, or a Spectre. If she wanted experience and power, she wasn't going to find it in him. The realization stung, and it struck him to the point of where he wasn't sure what else to say. He knew he was overreacting but he couldn't help it. So many emotions stirred within him that he needed time to sort them out.

"Well, I'm glad you made it back safely," he said through clenched teeth before walking away from her.

* * *

><p>Shepard spent the rest of the day making preparations for departure and ensuring that every crew member was safely aboard. It provided to be a decent distraction from the many other concerns that were weighing down on her. Those concerns were mainly pertaining to Garrus, whom she hadn't seen since that morning. As the day wore on, it was looking as if she may be required to swallow her pride and seek him out for a talk. She still didn't understand why he reacted the way he did. She did understand that he was concerned for her safety, but he seemed more angered by the fact that she had slept with the Councilor. Sure, Valern was a conceited ass, but that's why she chose him. He would accept her sexual advances, give her the release she needed with no strings attached; or so she had originally thought. His reaction had been a bit different from what she had anticipated, but it wasn't anything she couldn't handle.<p>

She pored over the reports that the asari Councilor had forwarded her, regarding Noveria. According to the reports, Matriarch Benezia had been spotted in the area. As that's where there next destination was projected, this came as quite the pleasant surprise. Suddenly, she heard a knock at her door. "Come in," she announced.

The door slid open, revealing a rather disgruntled-looking turian. "Shepard…" he started hesitantly. "Sorry to bother you, but I wanted to apologize for the way I acted earlier." He stepped in further, allowing the door to slide shut behind him.

Shepard rose from her datapad, standing face-to-face with him. "Garrus, you don't have to apologize. Wrex told me you and Kaidan spent the night standing guard outside my cabin. You were trying to keep me safe and I snuck out, without any regard for you. I betrayed your trust, Garrus, and I'm sorry."

Garrus moved forward until he was only inches away. He took in her scent. It smelled of earth flowers mixed with a scent that was just… her. The Councilor's scent still lingered, but hers overpowered it, distracting him from its presence. Her scent calmed him. It made him feel safe and secure. He wanted to embrace her; wanted to bathe in that scent. But he held back.

She looked away, distraught. "It's a scary feeling you know… not being in control. You do things that shame you. That night, on the Presidium, I wasn't in control." She paused, thinking of how to continue without sounding overly sappy. She looked up at him, her eyes expressing an overwhelming sense of gratitude. "Two random acts of kindness from a stranger brought me back to myself. And for that I'm grateful to you."

"Shepard…" At this point, he could no longer hold back his need, if not for himself, then for her. Right now she needed comfort, to know that someone was here for her. She needed someone to see her as a woman, not as a Commander. And he wanted to be the one to do that for her. Enveloping her in his arms, he pulled her close into a secure embrace. At first she was stiff and ridged as he held her, but she quickly relaxed into him, laying her head against his chest.

"Thank you, Garrus," she murmured.

"Anytime Shepard." She could feel his deep voice vibrate in his chest when he spoke, comforting against the side of her face.

* * *

><p>"In the door! Move, move, move!" The squad sprinted into the next room, the door sliding shut behind them. One of the creatures took a leap, wedging itself in the door before it could completely close behind them. A shot rang out behind Shepard and her squad, blasting the beast directly in the head, its blood splattering over the metal door. Shepard wasted no time and kicked the thing with all the force she could muster until its body fell back into the previous room. The door finally shut.<p>

"Boy, am I glad to see _people_ in this hellhole… kinda."

"If those damn things keep sneaking in here, we're gonna run out of ammo," the defending squad leader said. "Who are you people anyway?"

"I'm a Spectre, and I'm here to help."

"Well I'm not usually one to look an armed horse in the mouth," he said. "I'm Captain Ventralis."

"Any more survivors?"

"Some of the science team. Most are sick, injured, or dead."

"Where did those things come from?" she asked, referring to the alien creatures.

The Captain shrugged. "They overran the hot labs last week. The board sent in an asari to clean up the mess. She hasn't returned since."

"Benezia," Liara murmured.

"We're going to the hot labs then," Shepard stated.

"Good luck with that. I wouldn't be sending _my_ team down there. It's dangerous enough up here," Ventralis commented.

"Yeah well, some of us have to do our jobs," Shepard stabbed. "Let's move out!" She turned, completely ignoring the scowl she was now receiving from the Captain.

* * *

><p>Hours later, they had finally escaped the issues surrounding the survivors. As usual, Shepard's team played the heroes; killing the asari infiltrator who was actually Benezia's follower, finding cures for the ill… all in a good day's work. As a reward for their effort, the doctor was compliant enough to provide them with his access card so they could bypass the main route to the labs by exiting through maintenance. The back route from maintenance to the labs, was bitter cold, the tunnel walls being thoroughly encased in ice. She was glad she had decided against bringing Garrus on this mission. Turians were much less resilient against the cold than krograns, so Wrex proved the better choice. Plus, this way, she wouldn't have to listen to his whining about how she handled the Mako as they traveled through the rough, icy terrain of Noveria.<p>

Finally, after working their way through the winding tunnels, they had reached the labs, however nothing would prepare them for what they would find within. As they entered, they were met with the hateful gaze of the asari Matriarch, Benezia. Looking to the middle of the room's expanse, they could make out a rather large glass containment unit. Within it was a colossal version of the aliens that had been overrunning the station.

"Commander Shepard," Benezia's deep, calm voice echoed through the open area. "I knew you would come."

Shepard scoffed. "Did you see that in your crystal ball, or do you always dress like that?" she mocked, referring to the asari's rather dark taste in garb and the dreadful headpiece she wore upon her head.

Benezia regarded the Commander with distaste. "Saren failed to mention your wit, _human_."

Shepard shrugged. "It's hit or miss. And that was just too easy." When the asari's eyes narrowed dangerously, she continued. "By the way, I don't know what kind of voodoo you're playing in here, but there's a bunch of miniature versions of that thing killing everyone on the station. Just sayin'."

"_You _do not know the privilege of being a mother," the Matriarch hissed, turning to gaze thoughtfully at the encased creature.

"This coming from the paragon of _all _mothers," Shepard remarked.

"There is _power_ in creation. To shape a life; turn it toward happiness or despair. Her children were to be ours, raised to hunt and slay Saren's enemies."

"You were raised by this?" she asked Liara. The young asari, not knowing how to respond, facepalmed in embarrassment. Wrex could barely stifle a deep laugh.

Benezia raised her chin in the air and narrowed her cold dark eyes as she turned to regard her daughter. "I will not be moved by sympathy, no matter who you bring into this confrontation," she stated, her voice undeniably lacking in emotion.

"Obviously…" Something about this woman irked her and it caused the Shepard Troll to arise from within.

"Have you ever faced an asari commando unit before? Few humans have."

"Quite often actually. But only after breakfast."

"_I_ didn't get breakfast," Wrex grunted from behind Shepard. "Does that mean I can sit this one out?"

Liara shrugged.

"Silence!" Benezia shouted furiously, a purple-blue glow beginning to wash over her body.

"Now you did it, Shepard," Wrex commented.

Liara gasped. Groups of asari commandos and geth began to trickle into the room from side entrances, surrounding them on both sides. "Hostiles incoming!"

Ducking behind the crates that were stacked near the entryway, Shepard ordered Liara and Wrex to fire upon the incoming wave while she would take the occasional shot at Benezia, who strategically positioned herself on a platform, only accessible from the other side of the room. The wave of geth and asari commandos proved to be difficult to whittle down, and the Matriarch's barrier held strong. Shepard used her sniper to pick off the last of the commandos before directing her squad to press forth to the next corner of the room. As they reached the next pile of crates, another wave, even larger than the last, poured into the area.

"Looks like we may be here a while," Shepard commented grimly.

* * *

><p>After defeating several waves of asari and geth, the team finally made it to the platform where Benezia held ground. She appeared much weaker than she had in the beginning of the fight. She was losing power. This was their shot.<p>

"Quick! Her power level is down!" Liara shouted.

"Got it!" The painful blue glow that Shepard dreaded, shot forth from her hand, consuming the asari Matriarch in its brilliance. She was lifted nearly twenty feet into the air weightlessly and then dropped as if all the gravity that had released her came barreling back tenfold. Still alive, however, she crawled to the containment unit's console and leaned her back against it wearily.

"You will never stop Saren," she declared weakly. "You…" the Matriarch trailed off, hesitantly. The coldness of her dark eyes seemed to warm over as if the life was forcing its way back into them. She seemed different somehow, almost as if she was more at peace.

"Tell us where Saren is headed next," Shepard demanded.

"Saren…" Benezia's eyes filled with distress and then hope. "He sent me here to gather information on the Mu Relay. He feels it will lead him to the Conduit."

"Someone here knows about it?" Shepard pressed for more information.

"In a way… yes." Benezia admitted. "Two-thousand years ago the rachni discovered the location of the Relay. The rachni can share memories across generations. Queens inherit the knowledge of their mothers. I took the location of the Relay from the queen's mind." She bowed her head regretfully. "I was not gentle…"

"You must listen," she continued, raising her head. "Saren is not the real threat. He is being manipulated by the Reaper, Sovereign, just as I had been. It captivates you, bends you to its will. It cannot be escaped… Even now I feel it fighting to regain control."

"Mother, please fight it!" Liara pleaded.

"I would little wing, but the indoctrination is too strong. The only escape for me is death." Liara lowered her head in defeat, and the Matriarch turned her gaze to Shepard. "Saren still loves you, Shepard. Perhaps there is still a chance for you to save him from this madness."

Wrex and Liara were without words at the unfolding of this new piece of information. They glanced at one another knowingly. Out of respect they wouldn't push for more… yet.

Shepard didn't respond to the Matriarch's words. She didn't know how to. Whether Saren had done it entirely against his own will or not, he murdered Nihlus, and right now forgiveness was the last thing on her mind. She wasn't sure she _wanted_ to save him if she could. She wanted the part of him that had torn her life asunder, to suffer by her hand. If he wasn't guilty, there would be no revenge, and that currently wasn't something she could fathom.

Benezia groaned in pain. "I cannot hold it back any longer. Please, you must destroy me before I regenerate power."

Shepard hesitated, unsure of how Liara would react if she were to end her mother's life right now. Before she could sort out the options, a purple-blue glow waved over the Matriarch's body as she was lifted, Liara's Singularity holding her in midair.

"Do it now!" the Benezia urged. As if on command, Liara shot a Warp through the other asari's body, damaging the last of her reserves. She was lowered to the floor gently, the final bit of life fading from her spent shell.

"No light… they always said there would be…" the Matriarch trailed off as she passed on into darkness.

"I'm sorry mother…" Liara whispered.

Leaving Liara to mourn her mother's death, Shepard stepped up to the containment unit's console. She stared intently at the magnificent creature whose life she was about to destroy. This creature, from what she had deduced from the Matriarch's words, was the Rachni Queen. Its thick, heavy body swayed behind the glass, almost forlornly. Wrex came up to stand beside her.

"Just kill it so we can get out of here. I'm freezing my quads off," he urged.

Just as she raised her hand to the dial that would deoxygenate the unit, she heard Liara gasp from behind them. She spun, weapon raised in preparation. An asari commando, one of whom had clearly been dead a moment ago, made her way up the stairs to the platform. She moved slowly and her steps were rigid and strained as if an invisible force was puppeteering her body. Her eyes were rolled back in her skull, the whites clearly visible. Shepard raised her hand in an order to hold fire, however she kept the crosshairs of her scope between the asari's eyes. Only feet away now, the woman stopped, and her mouth began to move like that of a marionette.

* * *

><p>"So what did the Council have to say about the last mission?" Kaidan asked breathlessly as he dodged a kick to the face.<p>

"They were pissed off as usual." Shepard threw a stray punch, landing the Lieutenant in the cheek. He barely flinched.

"About the Rachni Queen? I can understand that." Kaidan managed to land a fist in her stomach, but she jumped back slightly to soften the blow.

They circled around one another on the mat, waiting to spot another opening in the other's defenses. "I believe she was telling the truth about their ancestors being indoctrinated, and causing the Rachni Wars. I already saw its effects on Liara's mother." She had no doubt that the Rachni Queen was being truthful, else she would have destroyed her. As the queen spoke through the dead asari, there was understanding and sincerity in her words. She wouldn't have blamed Shepard if she chose to end her life, however she was eternally grateful that she had been spared. She even declared that her kind would sing of the kindness Shepard had bestowed upon her. Perhaps someday, the race would prove to be a formidable ally. Wrex, on the other hand, didn't see it that way. He was certain to congratulate her sarcastically, commenting that generations of bugs will be writing songs in her honor. And when you put it that way...

"Skipper," Ashley's voice emanated from the sidelines as she approached the sparring mat.

The Commander's gaze moved from Kaidan to Ashley. The Gunnery Chief looked concerned and she wondered what could have possibly been bothering her. Suddenly her eyes widened and she raised her finger to redirect Shepard's attention. "Shep-" Before Ashley could finish her warning, Shepard felt a sweeping force from behind, throwing off her footing. She landed hard on her back with a huff. Through dazed vision she focused on her attacker to find Kaidan peering down at her, his hand extended to help her back to her feet.

"You taught me to never be distracted during a fight, Commander," he said, justifying his actions.

A bright smile spread across her lips. "I taught you well," she declared, grabbing his hand. Once back on her feet she turned to him with a teasing smirk. "You were too lenient though, I would've kicked your ass harder."

"I'll remember that next time, Commander," Kaidan said with a grin.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, Commander…" Ashley trailed off.

"No problem, Ash. Excuse me Kaidan," she pardoned herself before stepping away with the Gunnery Chief. "What's bothering you Williams?"

"It's Liara," she started. "She seems totally unaffected by what happened with her mother. I tried to speak with her about it, but she shrugs it off like it was nothing." Ashley cast her eyes to the floor. "Is that what happens when you live for so long? Do you become so unaffected by the deaths of those you love?" The sorrowful tone in her voice made Shepard wonder if there was more personal concern behind her question.

"You want _me_ to talk to her?"

"If you could, mam. You were there. Maybe she needs to confide in someone who was."

"I'll try," Shepard assured her.

"Thanks, Skipper," Ashley said with a smile before returning to her post.

* * *

><p>Shepard stepped into the back room of the med bay. A small smile curved her lips as she remembered her last intimate moments with Nihlus that had been spent in this room. She could make out some shallow scratch marks that had been left in the wall by his claws as they lost themselves in the heat of passion.<p>

"Shepard!" Liara greeted her with surprise. "What can I do for you?"

Turning her attention to the asari, a veneer of friendly concern masked the appearance of wistful contemplation that had been present in her expression moments earlier. "How are you feeling, Liara?"

"I'm fine, Shepard, why do you ask?"

"Losing a parent can be hard on anyone. I wanted to see how you were coping."

Liara bowed her head. "Of course I mourn my mother. I loved her." She raised her head, her large pale blue eyes shimmering with a hint of dampness. "Asari have long lifespans. After a time, you come to accept death and losing those you love becomes a part of life. It doesn't make it any less distressing, but it becomes easier to deal with those emotions."

"I see," Shepard responded. "That's quite a disadvantage of having an extended lifetime."

"It is," Liara affirmed despondently.

"Well, I'd better get back to work. If you ever need to talk, about _anything_, you're welcome to visit at any time," Shepard offered sincerely.

"I will, Shepard. Thank you."

Before turning to leave, she decided to add one more thing. "And Liara, make sure you speak with Ash, she was worried about you."

"Ashley?" Liara asked, her eyes widening in surprise. Shepard nodded and turned to leave, but not before she took note of the pleased smile plastered on the asari's face.

* * *

><p>Shepard opened the door to her quarters, a sigh of relief escaping her lips. She was happy with how well that went. Liara proved to be genuinely accepting of her mother's death. Despite her timid nature, the asari was much stronger than anyone gave her credit for. Every day she seemed to be learning more about the people on her team, and it left her feeling content.<p>

"Shepard…" Garrus's voice rumbled through the silence of the room.

Her eyes shot up to meet his, the expression on his face filled with his usual youthful zeal. His unexpected presence made her heart jump in anticipation. She wasn't sure why he was here, waiting for her to return to her quarters, but her mind was sure to form its own hopeful answers. "Garrus, what are you doing here?"

"Sorry Shepard, but I needed to talk to you. It's important," he said determinately, stepping closer to her.

"Oh?" She felt her stomach flutter with excitement at his close proximity. Her lips parted slightly, anticipating, almost begging him, to make a move. He just stood before her, as if contemplating. If he continued to hesitate much longer, her heart was going to burst in her chest.

Then, he finally spoke. "Remember what I told you about the case I had, regarding Dr. Saleon?"

Her heart fell. "Oh…" _You're an idiot, Shepard_, she scolded.

"I was finally able to acquire the transponder frequency for his new ship. Apparently the bastard is now going by the name of Dr. Heart… his idea of a sick joke I guess," Garrus said with distaste.

She looked into his hopeful blue eyes, understanding what he was about to ask. "Send Joker the coordinates and we'll go after him."

He displayed his pointed feral teeth in a grin and grabbed her shoulders with unabashed enthusiasm. "I was hoping you'd say that! Thank you, Shepard."


	15. The Duel

**Just as a side note, for those of you who may have missed it, I intentionally skipped the Feros mission because I didn't have much to add to that one. It was briefly mentioned in Chapter 12, in Shepard's discussion with Ashley. Sorry to disappoint anyone who may have been looking forward to that mission!**

**Also, I'm really catching myself by surprise with what occurs in some chapters (especially this one). Sometimes I plan for one thing and something completely different happens. Keeps me guessing at least :)**

Garrus burst ahead through the airlock door, fuming. His teeth were bared threateningly and low throaty growls could be heard between angered breaths. Joker leaned back in his seat so he could see the boarding party. "So, how'd it go?" he asked cheerfully.

"Fuck off Joker!" Garrus roared, flashing his sharp teeth at the pilot.

Joker raised his hands in surrender. "Not good then. I get it."

Shepard stepped in from the airlock, glaring at the infuriated turian with disdain. "What's your problem, Garrus?" she demanded heatedly.

"Hi Commander!" Joker sang out.

"Fuck off Joker!" Shepard snarled, his obvious good mood clashing with her bad one. Her glare never left the turian.

"What! What did I do?" Joker whined.

Tali, who had entered soon after the Commander, stepped over to the pilot and warned in a whispered voice, "it's best not to get in the middle…"

"Why, Shepard?" Garrus growled. "Why didn't you let _me_ take the shot? Why didn't you let _me_ kill Saleon?"

Shepard's hands balled into tight fists at her sides. "I couldn't let you do it. You're not a murderer, Garrus. And I made a judgment call."

"Oh and I suppose you are?" he shot back.

"Yes, Garrus, I am," she replied levelly. "I've killed more people than you could fathom, sometimes for good reasons, and others because I felt like it. Even the _good_ reasons don't make you feel any better about it."

"I would've felt better!" he snarled. "Besides, I kill people all the time on your squad. What would make this any different?"

"We kill _mercs_ in self defense. You're not ready to kill someone who can't defend themselves. You can't live with the guilt."

Garrus charged at her quickly, stopping abruptly only inches away. She didn't flinch. "I had my chance to finally make it right, and you stole it from me!"

She could feel his breath, hot on her face. Even though she trusted Garrus, there was enough sharp teeth and claws present to feel a bit of anxiety. However, she wouldn't show him the fear he wanted to provoke. A deep growl rumbled in his throat as they stared each other down. Garrus was the first to look away as he spun from her angrily and trudged to the back of the ship in a fury.

"Well, that went well," Joker commented. As the Commander turned to shoot him a warning glare, he raised his hands defensively. "I know… I know… 'Fuck you Joker!' Jeeze." Shaking his head he turned back to his console.

Shepard couldn't help but doubt her decision on being the one to take the shot on Saleon. But killing people was nothing to her. After a while, you become desensitized. Sometimes you can look back and feel some semblance of regret, but your actions become easily justified. She didn't want that to happen to Garrus. He was still too innocent to be numbed by taking the life of another. And she didn't want her influence to turn him into something he would regret. The confrontation with him had left her irritable. Now she needed to take it out on something...

* * *

><p>Her right fist jabbed, slamming Kaidan in the face with a force that must have jarred him. He staggered back, stunned for a moment. She took that moment to tackle him, slamming her shoulder into his abdomen. Forearm locked against his neck, she had him pinned. She had obviously taken him off guard with the ferocity in which she fought. She should have taken it easier on him, but not holding back felt so good right now. It was a way to whittle away her building tension.<p>

When Shepard didn't move from her hold on him, he looked up at her with concern. "Are you alright, Commander?"

"I'm fine," she replied, quickly releasing him and rolling onto her feet.

Moving up to stand in front of her, Kaidan placed a hand on her arm. "Are you sure? You seem bothered." When she diverted her attention to her hand bindings, rather than responding, he narrowed his eyes. "Is it Garrus? Cause if it is I'll-"

"You'll _what, _Kaidan?" came a rumbling voice from behind him.

Both humans turned their attentions to the turian towering over the Lieutenant. Kaidan shot Garrus a scowl. "Nevermind," he mumbled irritably.

Shepard crossed her arms over her chest and cocked her hip to the side, impatiently waiting for Garrus to say what he wanted.

Garrus studied her for a few moments before taking the deepening crease between her brows as an indication that he had better speak, and soon. "Shepard, I have a proposition."

"Go on."

"Since neither of us have any intentions of apologizing for our earlier actions, I propose that we have a duel."

She raised her brows at him curiously and shifted to her other leg. "Oh? And what do I get if I win? A forced apology?"

"I'm not suggesting that the winner gets _anything_, Shepard. Just think of it as a way to blow off steam."

"That is the typical turian solution, isn't it?"

"More or less," he replied with a flair of his mandibles.

Shepard wasn't about to give him the satisfaction of asking what the "more" meant, but she'd be lying if she said she wasn't damn curious, even though she already had a good idea. "Okay Garrus, a duel it is then."

"You sure you want to do this, Commander?" Kaidan asked.

"It's better than me kicking _your_ ass, isn't it?" she quipped, giving him a pat on the shoulder.

"You've got a point," he snickered. Taking his leave to the sidelines, he glanced at Wrex who was already meandering his way up to join him.

As the two combatants began to prepare for, what one would think was a serious fight, Ashley came jogging over. "What's going on?" she pressed.

"Shepard is going to kick Vakarian's ass," Kaidan said with a grin.

"Oh?" Ashley's eyes widened in curiosity. "Like for real, or just training?"

"For real, it seems."

Ashley's eyes widened in excitement. "I'll have to go get the girls! Don't let them start until I get back!"

"I don't think I could stop them," Kaidan commented, more to himself because Ashley had already sprinted away.

"I wouldn't want to stop them. This is too much fun," Wrex grunted. "Did you know sparring is practically foreplay for turians?"

"What!" Kaidan exclaimed. He immediately turned his attention to the couple on the mat, missing the krogan's mischievous grin.

As the human Commander stretched in preparation, Garrus couldn't help but admire her considerable flexibility; the way she folded in half at the waist to extend her arms behind her legs and how she bent her back at an unimaginable angle. She concentrated her efforts on every muscle and every ligament. Every movement was like an elegant dance in preparation for an asskicking.

She caught his stare and met it with a wicked smirk. "Already warmed up?"

"Like you wouldn't believe," he rumbled, mandibles flaring suggestively.

_Why does he have to do that?_ she groaned, as she finished her final set of stretches. "Ready?" she asked.

"As ready as I'll ever be," he growled, lowering into a defensive stance.

She began to circle him slowly, a slight smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. She didn't give any indication that she was going to make the first rush. The way she stalked around him was more like a wild creature examining its next meal. Her expression was unreadable but he knew she was expecting him to make the first move. If he was going to oblige, he would have to be careful about it. Slowly, he prowled toward her, remaining defensive and alert to her every movement. She ceased her circling as he cautiously approached. He was about a foot away from her now, close enough to see her muscles tense readily. She remained statue-still. Wanting to provoke some type of reaction, he threw a jab at her face, but before he could blink she dodged it effortlessly.

Preceding the action of his extending arm, she had already seen the move coming. She dodged the blow, moving sideways. As his body came forward, she lifted her knee to meet squarely with his stomach. He buckled over just enough for her to get another attack in, and her elbow shot downward to impact with his spine. The move sent him hurdling face-first into the mat. With the advantage of his armor, she was forced to use biotics behind her attacks. But the little bit of discomfort it caused was well worth the result.

Ashley, whom had finally arrived with Liara and Tali at her heals, glanced at the scene on the mat with disappointment.

"Don't tell me we missed it already," Tali groaned.

Wrex grinned at them with bared teeth. "Not quite," he assured before returning his attention to the fight.

Garrus, whom had already risen back to his feet, began circling around Shepard before the two of them started to close in the distance once again. This time, she took the first swing, which Garrus blocked with an armored arm. At that moment, he took advantage of a brief opening in her defenses and thrust his gloved fist outward, striking her in the face. A small hint of blood seeped from her lip, but her fierce stare never left him. She brought her leg up and around, slamming a glowing knee into his side. She grinned when he winced. In response he tossed another blow to her face, leaving behind a scowl and a drop of blood trickling from her nose. She promptly countered this with a strong right hook that made impact with his left cheek.

Her eyes shone brightly behind defensively posed arms. Her jaw was clenched tightly and her soft lips were drawn into a sneer. To Garrus, it seemed like she was almost enjoying this. He certainly was. Usually sparring was meant to ease tensions, however, there were times when it only proved to work one up even more, especially when it was with an attractive female who was getting equal enjoyment from it. Unfortunately, he had allowed his mind to slip for a moment, his punishment being a powerful biotic-fueled punch to the stomach coupled with another to the side of his already throbbing face.

She lifted her hand to brush her knuckles against her mouth, smearing his blue blood with her red. Her pink tongue jutted out to rake across her blood covered lips, licking at their combined fluids. Seeing her smudge his blood on her face awakened something savage within him and his mandibles flared in appreciation. Her smile grew wider and her gaze more intense as she watched his reaction. _Spirits she is enjoying this_, he thought. _Good, because I have no intentions of giving up… especially now_.

He wasn't certain how much longer they fought, but he could certainly feel his desire rising every moment; each time contact was made, each time blood was met with blood, and each time she grinned at him with that little mouth that was filled with so much violence and need. Spirits he wanted her. And there was nothing like a little friendly violence to enhance the need for sex. He was certain she knew that about turians, especially considering the way she sometimes gave in, just enough to tease. The few times he had managed to get her in a hold of sorts, her body would lax slightly and she would brush against him in ways that were anything but hostile. And each time, just as he felt his body beginning to react, she slipped away easily, and landed him with a jarring attack.

After what may have been over an hour, they were beginning to wear down, dragging themselves around the mat and throwing sloppy punches. The majority impacted with the intended target, mainly because they were too weary to block them and also because they were no longer hitting with enough force to do any real damage. Most of the spectators had enough and already returned to their posts. Only Wrex and Kaidan remained and the krogan was basically asleep on his feet. However, the Commander and the turian paid no heed to anyone who watched, as their keen eyes never left one another. Not even when Shepard threw her body into a strained punch, her illuminated fist meeting securely with Garrus's stomach did they tear away from the visual connection. Without thinking, Garrus gripped her shoulders in his padded talons and growled low and lustfully. He drew her upright, his blue eyes peering at her searchingly. When he was certain he had seen what he wanted in her expression, he moved his head forward to brush his mandible against her neck. He could feel her shudder against his hands and her breath quicken at the action.

Wrex chuckled and turned to Kaidan. "Looks like that's all to see here," he grunted before returning to his post.

Kaidan glared at the couple who still stood on the mat, oblivious to anyone else but each other. Having seen enough and choosing to be ignorant to anything that may occur further, he stormed out of the area.

"Want to finish this duel in my quarters?" she suggested breathily against his neck.

"_Definitely_," he responded needily.

* * *

><p>They didn't give the door time to close behind them before they were all over one another. Shepard pressed her sore lips against his mouth, urging with her tongue for him to let her in. He was obviously unsure of this practice, but finally his mouth opened and she slipped her tongue in, searching for his. She began frantically unclasping his upper armor, tossing each piece to the floor as it became unhooked. When she reached for his gloves he pulled his mouth from hers and looked at her hesitantly.<p>

"I don't want any barriers," she said, not letting go of them.

"And I don't want to hurt you," he responded.

"But that's all a part of it," she murmured, pressing her lips against his throat and suckling seductively.

Just as she wanted, he gave in, letting her slip off his gloves. "Now it's your turn," he purred, reaching for the zips of her tactical uniform. He fumbled with it, the much too human closure proving to be a bit problematic for his taloned fingers. He felt the fabric tear as his claws struggled against the zipper, and hesitated, unsure of how she would react. When he felt her nibble at the sensitive skin on his neck, it was obvious she didn't disapprove. So he continued to tear his claws through the length of the rather thick fabric until the back was left completely open.

"That's one way to do it," she said with a seductive laugh. As she pulled off the remaining pieces of her top, she made to grab for the bottom half of his armor and was abruptly stopped. She gave him a look which could easily be deciphered as a pout.

"I'm not done," he growled. As this was a new experience for him, a part of him wanted to take his time and explore everything there was about her. He wanted to see and feel every inch of her soft alien body. But he knew if she pushed for it he wouldn't be able to stop himself from taking her quickly and violently.

She ran her soft wet tongue along his neck, nipping at his skin with her flat human teeth. "We can take our time later," she said huskily. "I want you. Now."

And that was all it took. Those words threw his mind into a whirlwind of desire and insatiable need. He tore his claws at the thin fabric covering her breasts, allowing himself only a moment to graze his palms over them. As she said, there would be more time later… right now they needed one another, desperately. He needed to be inside her, to feel her warmth envelop him. As her fingers worked at the clasps of his lower armor, he ripped at the waistband of her pants and they quickly fell to the floor, shortly followed by the scrap of cloth that blocked his access to her. When he was finally released from his armor, waves of pleasure swept over him as she took him into her soft hands. Sweeping up and down his length, she applied pressure in all the right places while her teeth remained nibbling at his neck. The sensations were far too much for him to take at once. Though, no matter how good it felt, he couldn't shake from his mind the thought of how it would feel to bury himself within her. Finally, he couldn't take anymore. Grabbing her rear, he lifted her up and could feel her legs encircle his waist securely. Moving to her desk he swept off the datapads that littered the surface and set her upon it. As he positioned the tip of his member at her entrance, their eyes met. He held her gaze for a few moments before plunging into her, her warm tightness welcoming his every inch. She felt so soft, yet strong as her inner walls gripped his rock-hard organ. The sensation was so intense he almost feared he would release himself into her right then and there, however, he had managed to regain his composure enough to begin moving inside her. Her skilled hands found the sensitive area under his fringe. As she rubbed him in a circular motion that sent chills down his spine, Garrus slipped his tongue from his mouth and trailed it up and down the length of her neck as he moved within her vigorously. Her breath quickened and he could feel her fingers dig into his skin appreciatively. The taste of her salty sweet skin was intoxicating. He wrapped his mouth around her neck and drug his teeth along her soft flesh teasingly, enjoying the way she reacted.

His thrusts became more vigorous and his growls deeper as he neared release. He could feel her hands move over him, urging him on. He obliged, pumping into her hard enough to rock the desk against the wall. Her cries of pleasure grew more desperate and her hands clenched onto him firmly as she reached her peak. He could feel her contract around him tightly, increasing his sensitivity. Lowering his head, he lightly touched his forehead to hers. He could feel waves of extreme pleasure surge over him as he spilled his release into her.

They held onto each other tightly, their foreheads still pressed together. Her body felt hot and damp against his, a result from the exertion of their lovemaking. "That was…" he trailed off not having the words to describe what had just occurred.

"We should duel more often," she hummed. She moved her forehead from his and regarded him with longing eyes. "Another round?"

"_Definitely_," he replied with enthusiasm.

* * *

><p>That night was the best Garrus had ever slept. After their rather intense lovemaking session, he had passed out in her quarters. That morning he had awoken with a very naked Shepard curled against him, with her head on his chest and fast asleep. He really didn't want to leave, but it was nearing 0500 hour, which meant most of the crew would soon be rising to begin their shifts. That's all they needed was for him to be caught leaving her quarters in the early morning. Deciding it was best to leave now while he would be less likely to be seen, he gave her a gentle nudge. She groaned softly and rolled over. As the warmth of her body left him, he couldn't help but feel a bit disappointed. She didn't stir as he slipped from the bed. He stole a few moments to admire her sleeping form. She looked so different when she slept. She appeared peaceful and innocent, not at all like the strong and passionate soldier he had come to know.<p>

Reaching down, he chased away a stray lock of pale hair that was apparently tickling her twitching human nose. After giving her one last glance, he re-equipped his gear and left her quarters. As he exited, he noticed a couple of crew member seated in the mess. _Great_, he thought. _This won't be easy._

His plan was to stick to the shadows and sneak by, hoping they would be too engaged in conversation to notice him. However, he stopped when he overheard bits of their conversation.

"I heard the Commander had the turian in her quarters last night," one of the human crew members said, a trace of irritation laced in his voice.

"What? I thought she and the Lieutenant—" the other man cut off suggestively.

"Guess not. Maybe her own race isn't good enough for her. There was some talk about her and that turian Spectre that died on Eden Prime."

"You can't believe everything you hear."

"Maybe not. I can't see the crew putting their lives on the line for an alien lover. This is an _Alliance_ ship," he said with scorn.

"She's _still_ our Commander," the other man reminded him.

"What's going on here?" asked a new voice irritably. It was Kaidan.

"L-Lieutenant Alenko," the first man greeted as they both turned to the Lieutenant.

Kaidan gave the two men a disapproving glare. "I hope you aren't badmouthing the Commander."

"No, of course not Lieutenant!"

While their attentions were turned in the opposite direction, Garrus took this opportunity to scoot against the wall, toward the elevator. His movement seemed to catch the attention of Kaidan, who looked up in Garrus's direction, a glare still present on his face. His breath caught in his throat, and he hoped that Kaidan wouldn't allude the others to his presence. He released his breath in relief as the Lieutenant turned his attention back to the two men, as if he hadn't seen the turian. Garrus continued along the wall until he was out of sight and then sprinted to the elevator.

"I also hope you won't be involved in spreading vicious rumors about the Commander. She's under enough strain tracking down Saren without having to worry about her crew stabbing her in the back." He crossed his arms over his chest and peered down at them authoritatively.

"O-of course Lieutenant."

* * *

><p>Garrus leaned against the Mako, trying to wrap his head around what he had heard in the mess. He didn't think discriminations on the Normandy could be so strong that it would affect the loyalty of Shepard's crew. Was he too selfish to think he may have deserved her affections? Her crew seemed to think so. Putting aside what had happened between them last night, he wondered what <em>she<em> thought about him. Did it even matter at this point? If she thought about him as a potential mate, and the crew found out, would they hold it against her? Would they even remain dedicated to her cause? So many negative thoughts clouded his mind, and he wasn't sure what to do. He cared for Shepard and she seemed to always be on his mind as of late. But would it be too selfish of him to want anything more than friendship at this point? He was a nobody. Alenko had the respect from the crew, not him. To them, he was just an outsider… an alien.

He looked up from the scuffed metal floor to see Kaidan walking toward him. He nodded at the Lieutenant in greeting. "Kaidan."

"Garrus," Kaidan greeted in return. "You have time to talk?"

"Sure," he replied plainly.

"I heard what those men were saying in the mess, before they saw me," he told him. "I don't know how many of them feel the same way, but ideas like that can cause problems among crew members, especially when spread."

"What are you suggesting?" Garrus questioned him.

Kaidan lifted his chin to address the question with the least amount of accusation as possible. "I don't know what is going on between you and the Commander, if anything, but I wouldn't want to see her get hurt. Not by you and not by her own crew. She is still gaining their trust and loyalty, and I wouldn't want to see anything hinder that."

"I see…" Garrus regarded the Lieutenant suspiciously. "You know, everyone knows about your feelings for the Commander."

Kaidan scowled at the turian. "That's not why I'm here Garrus," he spat. "If she were to choose you without it jeopardizing her role as the Commander of this ship, I would accept that. But I won't be able to accept it if it turns her crew against her. If you care about her _at all_ you would do well to place her before your own selfish needs."

Standing erect, Garrus closed in the distance between him and the Lieutenant and towered over the human. He growled a warning low in his throat and stared him down with cold darkened eyes. He wanted to rip his claws through the Lieutenant's body for suggesting what he didn't want to even think about. The thought of dropping this now, after what happened between them, was painful. It filled him with an unexplainable rage. He could see a hint of fear in the Lieutenant's eyes, but he stood firm. Garrus spun away in an attempt to harness his anger. _Don't kill the messenger_, he reminded himself.

"Leave," he demanded, his voice coming out as a roar. When he turned a few moments later, he saw the elevator door close.


	16. Virmire

**I started this off as being one chapter, but it turned into two. So I'm releasing 16 and 17 together. Enjoy!**

For the entire day, Shepard felt wonderfully content. She just couldn't seem to get her mind off of a certain turian. As she tended to her daily routines she would occasionally lose herself in thoughts of the previous night and the heated passion they had shared. Later, she would make time to go visit him at his usual post at the Mako. Her stomach fluttered at the thought and she silently cursed herself for getting all wound up like a teenager with a crush.

Right now she had to force herself to concentrate on the information she had received from the Council. According to the reports, a salarian reconnaissance team on the planet Virmire had valuable information on Saren. However, the information that the Council was able to acquire was unclear and the Council warned that the team may be in danger and that Shepard should heed caution. _Of course they were in danger_, she thought. _There's no way this would be that easy._

She sighed and put down the datapad she had been reading. Rising from her chair, she pinched the bridge of her nose as she began to pace around her room. She still wasn't certain about what she would do about Saren if she were to find him. Part of her wanted to put a bullet through his head. The other part of her, remembered the turian she knew and loved. Slipping a hand into the collar of her shirt, she lightly caressed over the mark on her shoulder. The puncture wounds from Saren's bite had shallowed over time, but the scar remained, adding another page to the book of her life. The more she thought about what Benezia had said, the more she wanted to believe that Saren was acting against his will. If the Reaper ship was indeed the cause of all this, she could seek her revenge there and possibly save Saren.

She could hear a low growl break through the silence and her thoughts. It took her a moment to realize that it was her tummy, reminding her that she hadn't yet eaten. She had a bad habit of forgetting to eat… at least when she wasn't on shore leave. Ship rations were just so unpalatable. Leaving her quarters, she quickly headed for the mess that was conveniently located just a few feet away. Here she found Ashley preparing two steaming cups of tea.

"Where you expecting me?" Shepard asked with a smirk, crossing her arms over her chest.

The Chief jumped slightly, being obviously taken by surprise. "Oh Skipper! I uh… of course not. Why do you ask?"

The Commander's nod motioned toward the two cups of tea Ashley had in her possession.

"Actually, uh… one's for Li," she admitted, a blush flushing over her cheeks.

"I see," Shepard said, her grin widening as she observed Ashley's embarrassment. Since Noveria, it seemed like Ashley and Liara were inseparable. Nobody expected it was anything more than a budding friendship, except Shepard… and most likely Joker. She noticed the smiles they shot one another when they thought nobody was looking and how Ashley was spending more time in the back room of the med bay. The way they touched one another as they conversed was much more sensual than that of friendly contact. It was wonderful to see how one of the biggest offenders of xenophobia could put discriminations aside to indulge in something more tender and pure. "So you and Liara…?"

The blush on Ashley's face flashed a deep red and she averted her eyes. After a brief pause she looked back up at the Commander and grinned sheepishly. "Just don't say anything. Most of the crew still isn't use to having aliens aboard and I don't want to freak anyone out, you know?"

Shepard shrugged questioningly. "Why would anyone be freaked out?"

"Discrimination is a hard kill, Skipper. I should know."

"You apparently got over it, Chief."

Ashley smiled sheepishly. "Thanks to Liara… and you, Shepard."

Shepard smiled at this. It made her happy to know that some of her actions succeeded in uniting some of the most unlikely people during the most difficult of times.

"Um… Commander?" Joker gently interrupted.

"Joker!" Ashley shouted, jumping at the sound of his voice. "What did you hear?"

"Nothing that will be repeated," he assured her. Before she could say anything else, the pilot continued, "Commander, you have a call in the comm room."

"Be right there, Joker." Shepard turned her attention back to Ashley. "Go enjoy your tea before it gets cold," she said with a little wink.

"Yes, mam!" Ashley quickly grabbed the cups from the table and scurried away.

Shepard left the mess and immediately made her way up to the comm room. "Joker, patch it through," she ordered upon entering.

"Patching it through," Joker responded.

Shepard's eyes narrowed as the holo image of the turian Councilor appeared before her, illuminating the dimness of the room. She didn't see any other Council members. And when Valern acted alone, it made her suspicious. "Councilor," she greeted through gritted teeth.

"Shepard." His mandibles flared as he regarded her. "I assume you received our report on the reconnaissance team on Virmire."

"I have," she stated. "Did you have something to add?"

The Councilor shifted, his avian eyes peering at her with an expression unreadable through the graininess of the holo. "Shepard, we currently have no knowledge of what will be awaiting you there. For all we know it could be a trap. I ask that you reconsider taking the mission to Virmire."

"Not a chance," she said levelly.

Valern straightened, folding his hands behind his back. "Is finding Saren really worth risking your life and the lives of your team?"

"They knew what they signed up for."

"Don't be unreasonable, Shepard."

She cocked her hip and folded her arms over her chest. "What? Afraid I'll become a liability?"

"You are already a liability."

A cocky smirk spread over her lips. "I can't argue with that." Then the smile faded and her expression became stern and filled with determination. "We'll be arriving at Virmire in a few days." She moved to switch off the link before he could argue with her any further.

"Shepard…" he growled.

She stopped and raised a brow at him. "What?"

Valern shook his head in defeat. "Be careful," he said before switching off the holo, himself.

Frowning, Shepard left the comm room. It didn't make sense to her why Valern had voiced concern about the mission, especially without the presence of the other Council members. Unless… he actually had a personal concern for her safety, which would be totally off the wall. Right…? Shepard pinched the bridge of her nose as she walked the flight of stairs to the mid level. Diverting her mind from the complications of her meeting with the Councilor, she realized she hadn't yet visited Garrus today. Hopefully he didn't think she had been avoiding him because of what happened between them the night before. Doubtfully, he knew she was busy. Perhaps that was why he didn't seek her out himself.

As she quickly made her way down the elevator and to the lower level, she passed Wrex who nodded in acknowledgement. "Shepard."

"Hey Wrex, how's it going?" she greeted in return.

"If you're looking for the turian, he's not here," he told her.

"Oh? Where'd he go?"

Wrex shrugged. "Maybe he went to the crapper." When she scrunched up her nose at him he continued with a shrug. "Or maybe he went to go find you."

"Hmm… well thanks for the heads-up Wrex."

"Anytime, Shepard."

* * *

><p>She decided against searching the entire ship for him and figured he would either be waiting for her in her cabin or that he would come find her later. Luckily, she was correct on her first presumption. She found the turian sitting in the dimness of her quarters, on the edge of her bed. His head shot up as the soon as the door whisked open. The corners of her mouth turned up in a little smile as she saw him rise to his feet and move in towards her. She felt her heart begin to pound hard against her chest at his nearness. She looked up at his face, his expression unreadable. He made a slight forward movement, as if to touch her, and recoiled as if deciding against it.<p>

"I was hoping you'd be here," she said smoothly, running a hand down the length of his torso.

"Shepard…" he trailed off, glancing down at the small human hand that caressed him. "We need to talk."

"I can think about things we need to do that don't involve _talking_," she commented coyly.

Garrus looked away for a moment, as if fighting an internal battle. His avoidance of her gaze made her stomach churn and she was afraid that maybe she had jumped the gun when believing he would want to continue what they had… _whatever_ they had. Then the words came that she dreaded but loathed to consider.

"Shepard, we can't do this. Not now," he told her in a voice not lacking in regret. Whether that regret was for the current situation or for their previous actions, she could not tell.

The crease in her brow that signified her frustration appeared and she removed her hand, taking a defensive step back. "I see…" she said evenly. "Any particular reason I should know about?"

Garrus shook his head and downcast his gaze. If he had a reason, he was either too sensitive to her feelings to give it, or too worried about the repercussions. That he wouldn't admit to any particular reason left her shaken. Usually open with one another, the issue that ensued between them seemed to be the one thing he was reluctant to discuss.

She was trying her best to remain calm, but she felt her composure being chipped away by every agonizing moment. This was what she feared that night she had been drugged. Even then, she had enough sense to avoid such a consequence. And yesterday, despite being in her right mind if you discount the sexual high from the duel, she had made the mistake she had then avoided. She was angry with herself and equally as furious with him for allowing her to think that there existed anything more between them. She trusted him and enjoyed his company more than any other member of her squad, which was why she always kept him at her six. She had wanted there to be more between them, more than just the loyalty of friendship. But here he was, rejecting her and with no reason to give that may ease her mind. Her hands balled into fists at her sides and her jaw clenched in a mix of rage and hurt.

"Please leave." The suggestion came out more as a command than a suggestion, and she quickly shoved past him to seat herself at her desk. When the door had closed behind him and she was certain she was now alone, her fist slammed into the wide video screen at her desk and her growl of frustration echoed through the empty room. When she removed her hand, speckles of blood remained on the spider web-cracked glass, but the minuscule pain of it was dulled by the aching in her gut.

* * *

><p>Garrus winced when he heard a loud thump. The angry female growl that followed shook him to his core. Regret and sorrow twisted his stomach into a knot. He hurt her, though he wished he didn't have to. But he had done it for her own good, though she couldn't know that, not yet. Knowing Shepard, if he were to tell her the reason, she would have dismissed it and confronted the crew. They might take such a scolding as a personal affront and a display of favoritism toward her alien teammates. No matter how much he wanted to deny it, Kaidan was right. He had to do this for her, putting aside his own selfish needs. And spirits he <em>needed<em> her. It was agonizing to not reach out and touch her, to resist taking her the moment she walked through the door. His heart wrenched. But he held out the hope that someday it would be different. Someday he would be a Spectre, like her, and maybe then they would both hold the respect and loyalty they both deserved.

* * *

><p>Shepard and her squad had taken the Mako through the tropical terrain of Virmire. They had fought through a shocking amount of geth resistance in an attempt to disable the defense towers so the Normandy could make its landing. After they had shut down the towers, the Normandy was able to successfully locate the salarians' camp and land. They were not greeted with as much enthusiasm as one would have thought. Captain Kirrahe was quite dismayed that his transmission was unclear and Shepard's crew was all that had been sent. He had already lost half of his team investigating the geth-infested planet and the facility that was apparently being operated by Saren. From what Kirrahe was able to discern from the investigation of the facility, Saren had been successful in finding a cure for the genophage and was breeding an army of krogan. Kirrahe was in the middle of iterating the dire importance of destroying the facility when Wrex, having overheard the conversation, stormed over.<p>

"Destroyed? I don't think so…" Wrex said levelly. "Our people are dying. If Saren has found a cure, this cure can save them."

"If that cure leaves this planet, the krogan will become unstoppable. We can make the same mistake again," Kirrahe stated.

Wrex closed in on the salarian, deadly intent darkening his glare. "We are not a mistake!" he shouted, waving his finger in front of the Captain's face to express his dire seriousness. Deciding it best to walk away before anything more was said, Wrex stalked off, the salarian glowering after him.

"Is he going to be a problem?" Kirrahe asked with concern.

"I'll talk to him," Shepard assured him.

As she approached the krogan, she could see him raise his pistol and take aim towards the water's edge as it lapped against the beach. He fired off a few shots in an obvious attempt to quell his rage. Noticing her looming presence he turned with a look of determination and fury on his scarred face.

"This isn't right Shepard!" he exclaimed, his red eyes dark and foreboding. "If there is a cure for the genophage, we can't destroy it."

"I understand how you must feel about this, Wrex. But you have to remember who the enemy here is. It's Saren, not us."

"Really? Saren created a cure for my people. _You_ want to destroy it." Wrex's eyes narrowed and his teeth were bared threateningly. "Help me out here, Shepard. The lines between friend and foe are getting a little blurry from where I stand." He raised his pistol, red eyes flashing with intensity as he peered at her through the sights.

"Wake up, Wrex!" Shepard shouted, her voice ringing with an authoritative edge. "This isn't a cure, it's a weapon! Saren doesn't give a _damn_ about curing your people." Her arms motioned in emphasis as she spoke. "He's only planning to use them as glorified meat shields. And once he's done with them he won't think _twice _about wiping your race out thoroughly. Is _that _the future you want for your people?"

Wrex considered her a moment, still glaring through the sights as he considered her words and his options. "No," he said finally. "We deserve better than that." Lowering his gun, he observed the Commander with a renewed sense of respect. "Alright, Shepard, you made your point. I don't like this, but I trust you enough to follow your lead." He gave her one last glance before turning back to the clear expanse of water that dove over the horizon.

* * *

><p>"So have you come up with a plan?" she asked the salarian Captain when she made her way back to the camp.<p>

"As a matter of fact I have," he replied, his obsidian eyes regarding her proudly. "We can convert our ship's drive system into a twenty kiloton ordnance. Crude, but effective."

"Nice," Ashley chimed in with awe. "Drop that nuke from orbit, and Saren can kiss his turian ass goodbye."

Kirrahe shook his head in disagreement. "Unfortunately the facility is much too fortified for that. We'll need to place the bomb at the far side of the facility." He motioned at Shepard. "Your ship can drop it off, but we'll need to infiltrate the base, disable the AA guns, and pacify any ground forces first. I will divide my men up into three teams and hit the front of the facility. While we're providing a distraction, you'll lead a shadow team in through the back."

"It's a good idea," Shepard affirmed. "But your team will be slaughtered."

"We're tougher than we look, Commander. But it's true, I don't expect many of us will make it out alive. And that makes what I'm going to ask even more difficult. I'll need one of your men to accompany me and to help coordinate the teams."

"He's right, Commander," Kaidan agreed. "We need the cooperation of both teams to accomplish this. I volunteer."

"And you can count on me to set the detonator, Commander," Ashley chimed in. "But it's your decision, of course…"

Being a soldier, Ashley was much more adept at holding her own and more familiar with weaponry. As a biotic, there was a high chance Kaidan would be easily overwhelmed by the enemy and never get the bomb off. Kaidan worked better in groups where his biotics were much more efficient. It was already decided. "Ashley will set the detonator. Kaidan, you'll be with Captain Kirrahe."

Kaidan nodded. "Aye aye, Commander."

Ashley smiled broadly. "Thank you, Skipper. I can't wait to nuke those bastards!" she declared, slamming her fist into her open palm with unabashed enthusiasm.

Shepard grinned, impressed with the Chief's zeal. Now that she and Kaidan had their roles, she needed to decide on the squad that would be accompanying her through the facility. Liara's Singularity would most certainly come in handy for every situation, so she was in. Shepard could easily take care of the decryptions on her own. Bypassing security was nothing to a skilled Infiltrator, otherwise she would have taken Tali. Unfortunately short range attacks wouldn't be ideal in this situation, as they would not likely be in closed spaces too often, so Wrex and Tali may not be the best choices for combat. She needed a sniper's eyes to keep a lookout while she bypassed the security. Besides, despite convincing Wrex that blowing the place was for the best, she didn't want to risk him having a change of heart if he were to happen across any other krogan. Though she hated to admit it, she would obviously need Garrus at her six.

_It always comes down to that doesn't it_? she sighed silently hating that she had to constantly rely on the turian. She hadn't spoken a word to him since his rejection of her days earlier. She wasn't certain if she was really that angry with him or if her avoidance of him was just a way for her to save face. She still considered him a friend, however, it would be a while before she would be able to forget the amazing night they had shared and remember that he was only ever just that… a friend.

After her decision had been made, she promptly informed Garrus and Liara of their roles. Garrus, feeling undoubtedly put out by her recent cold shoulder, gave her a look that bordered on perplexity.

"Are you sure you want me with you on this, Shepard?" he questioned her, a sparkle of hope in his eyes. He didn't want her to lose her trust in him. Nor did he want her to scorn him. He needed time and a chance to improve himself, and with that, he needed her.

She gazed back at him, her eyes as cold as stone. "I need someone with the vision to watch my back. You're my most skilled sniper, besides me of course," she added with a smirk. Her expression hardened again before he could respond. "No matter what, I still need you at my six." She knew that adding the words "no matter what" and "still" to that statement was an unnecessary jab, but she didn't care. Her current state of mind didn't allow her the luxury of considering his feelings on the situation.

"Be ready to move out in fifteen," she told him.

Even in her bitter mood, her heart warmed as she watched the interaction between Liara and Ashley. Watching them smile at one another and the way the asari gently touched the Chief's arm, it was clear to see that had advanced past the status of friendship. Shepard couldn't help but wonder what the future held for them. What would happen when the Reaper threat was over and most were forced to part ways? Would they find a way to remain together? Would they want to? She glanced at Garrus who began thoroughly inspecting his weapons and her heart clenched in her chest. What would happen with the young turian? Would he give the Spectres another shot? Would he want her to be his mentor? All were questions that would only be answered by time. Unfortunately though, time was short.


	17. My Sacrifice

Shepard led her squad from the asari scientist's office and across the metal rise to Saren's personal lab. The scientist, Rana Thanoptis was truly fortunate that the Commander was feeling benevolent. The asari had been working for Saren, conducting experiments on several beings, to study the effects of indoctrination. To Shepard, this was a crime worthy of death. She was certain Liara had felt the same way, seeing as how the indoctrination had killed her mother. However, Rana assured them that she wasn't aware of the consequences of the indoctrination until it was too late and Shepard generously gave her a second chance. She hoped she would use it wisely, if she escaped alive, because there would not be a third.

As the squad made their way down a metal ramp in the next building, the atmosphere became illuminated by an eerie green glow. Reaching the next level, they could make out the source of the light, which grew increasingly intense as Shepard approached. It was a beacon, much like the one they had encountered on Eden Prime. The Commander held up her hand in an order to hold position. Cautiously she approached the object, its glow nearly blinding now. Just as she had anticipated, the force of the beacon drew her in, lifting her off her feet. She hovered for a moment, feeling her body constricted by an invisible energy. The same familiar scenes that she had been envisioning since Eden Prime, flashed through her mind. Visions of war, suffering, and death scoured her mind. Machine and organic life fused as one. Agonizing screams. Images of the past, foretelling of their future. A destroyed planet… Then nothing. Dizziness swept over her as she was pulled to her feet. Shaking away the haze she turned to see Garrus and Liara holding her upright, concern evident on their faces.

"I'm fine," she said, gently prying herself from their grips. She glared at the beacon, wondering if Saren had seen the same visions. If so, why continue helping the Reapers? Why lead the miracles of the galaxy to a path of destruction? The idea that Sovereign had more of an influence on Saren, than she had, was a painful one. But now was not the time to dwell. They had to continue on. "Let's keep moving," she said finally.

Without waiting for their affirmations, she led them back up the ramp from which they had come. There was something different now, a red hologram located above the beacon. Its crimson glow was foreboding as they advanced upon it, the image representing of an ancient race of being, not quite organic and not entirely machine. A Reaper. It spoke, voice deep and full of malice, identifying itself as Sovereign. Its words, reminiscent of Shepard's visions, told of the end of all the galactic races. It also spoke of the Citadel and the Mass Relays. What the present galactic races believed to be artifacts of the Protheans, were nothing but the legacy of this terrifying race of machines. The Reapers were coming. They would harvest the life forms they had "allowed" to advance, just as they had the Protheans. The cycle would continue, and the ancient race of machines, the Reapers, would remain.

Shepard smirked, hoping the Reaper was familiar enough with human expression to recognize the ridicule she displayed. "You're not even alive, not really. You're just a machine, and machines can be broken."

"Your words are as empty as your future. I am the vanguard of your destruction. This exchange is over." Seemingly satisfied that its messaged had been delivered, and that it had the last word, Sovereign cut the communication, and the holo faded. Almost as instantly as the illumination vanished to black, the crash of shattered glass echoed through the dim corridor. The windows behind them had burst, sending broken shards of glass flying through the space.

"Commander, we've got trouble," Joker's voice broke through her communicator.

"What is it, Joker?"

"That ship, Sovereign, it's moving. I don't know what you did down there but that thing just pulled a turn that would shear any of our ships in half!" Joker paused a moment as he observed the ship's movements. "It's coming your way and it's coming hard," he said in an urgent voice.

"Got it. We're moving out. Time to blow this place to hell…" she said dangerously.

"Aye aye, Commander. I'll meet you there."

* * *

><p>They cleared the area of lingering geth, providing a safe landing for the Normandy. When the ship had finally landed, they promptly unloaded the nuke, securing its detonation site in the center of the facility grounds.<p>

"Bomb is in position," Ashley announced over the comm. "We're all set here."

"Commander, do you read me?" Kaidan's panicked voice interrupted through the other end of the link.

She grimaced. Whatever it was, it didn't sound good. Of course, when did anything ever go smoothly? "Alenko, get your ass to the rendezvous point, now!" Shepard ordered.

"No can do, Commander. The geth have us pinned down at the AA tower. We've taken some heavy hits. No casualties yet, but we'll never meet the rendezvous in time."

"Hang tight Lieutenant, we're on our way!"

"Negative, Commander. Just make sure that nuke is set. We can handle –" Kaidan demanded before the communication was cut off by a rough bout of static.

A worried expression crossed Ashley's face, obviously concerned for the Lieutenant's safety. At this point, there was no way they would get past the geth without reinforcements. "It's okay, Commander. I'm going to need a few minutes to finish arming the bomb. Go get LT and meet me back here."

She nodded in confirmation at the Gunnery Chief. "Let's move!"

* * *

><p>The passageways to the AA tower were filled with both raging krogan and cunning geth; a very deadly combination of fighting styles. Shepard quickly swallowed a pang of guilt that dared to arise. These krogan didn't know why they were fighting. They were just doing as they were controlled to do. But there was no saving them and Shepard was running out of time, she had to get to Kaidan and Captain Kirrahe immediately. They pushed through the waves of geth and krogan, leaving blood and metal debris in their wake. As soon as they pushed through to the roof, a geth ship loomed overhead heading toward the bomb site.<p>

"Chief," Kaidan's voice cut through the comm. "We just spotted a troop ship inbound to your location."

"It's already here. Geth are swarming the bomb site," Ashley responded, her voice unnerved.

"Can you hold them off?"

"There's too many. I don't think we can hold them. I'm activating the nuke!"

"What the hell are you doing, Williams?" Shepard ordered.

"Making sure this bomb goes off, no matter what!" After a brief pause she continued. "It's done, Commander. Go get LT and get the hell out of here!"

"Delay that. We can handle ourselves. Go back and get Williams," Kaidan demanded.

"Williams, we're coming back. I _won't_ leave you behind."

"No, Commander, it's too late," Ashley informed her, voice calm and collected.

"What do you mean? There's still time!"

"Commander, everyone here is dead. You won't make it back here in time before the geth overwhelm me. I can protect the nuke until it detonates. Even if not, they won't be able to deactivate it in time."

"Ash…"

"It's okay, Commander. I don't regret a thing." The brief silence that spread through the comm was deafening. "Thank you, Shepard. For everything. And take care of Li for me."

A few shots rang out before Ashley's voice could be heard again. This time it was directed towards Liara. "You know I'm not good with words, Li…"

A bittersweet smile crossed Liara's lips, the shimmer of tears present in her pale blue eyes. "Let me hear a poem then."

Ashley had taken barely a moment to find the words that would best express how she felt. "Dear friend, whoever you are, take this kiss, I give it especially to you-Do not forget me; I feel like one who has done work for the day, to retire awhile; I receive now again of my many translations-from my avataras ascending-while others doubtless await me." She paused as the echo of several gunshots sounded over the comm. When they had silenced, she continued. "An unknown sphere, more real than I dream'd, more direct, darts awakening rays about me-So long!" Another break in her voice was followed by several additional shots. "Remember my words-I may again return, I love you-I depart from materials; I am as one disembodied, triumphant, dead." The last line was accompanied by the firing of her gun, her voice somewhat strained in an attempt to hide any physical pain she may have felt. "Goodbye, Li…" she said before the connection was cut.

Shepard moved beside the asari, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. When Liara finally turned to face her, her eyes shone like ice; ice that had begun to melt in the glowering sun, on a warm winter's day. Her heart fell as she peered into those eyes. Her expression, so normally filled with naivety and apprehension was now overflowing with a deep sadness. "We'd better move. We can't let Ash's sacrifice be in vain," she urged softly. Liara nodded. It was the only response she was courageous enough to give.

* * *

><p>As they fought back the geth that threatened to overwhelm Kaidan and Kirrahe's teams, she could feel herself being watched. It was a stare that sent chills down her spine and caused beads of sweat to form on her brow. From the corner of her vision, she caught the glimpse of blazing blue orbs that had disappeared the moment she turned her head. They greatly outnumbered the geth by now. They wouldn't miss her if she slipped away momentarily, so she decided to take the opportunity to confront the man she had spent months tracking. She stealthily cloaked herself and faded away from vision. She couldn't have anyone following. He was hers to deal with and she didn't want any interference. She crept around the wall where she had seen those eyes, but only found an open door. He had obviously expected her to follow. And she did. Finding herself in a large dark storage closet, her eyes scanned the area, straining against the darkness. Boxes filled with scrap metal lined the far wall and to her left stood a looming shadowy figure.<p>

"Shepard…" he purred, his voice reverberating through to her core.

Her cloak instantly dropped at the sound of her name as it travelled on that rumbling voice she remembered so well. She peered at him though a narrowed gaze as she studied him, attempting to decipher his intent.

"Saren," she acknowledged flatly, not wanting to show him any weakness of emotion.

Before she could react, he charged her, quickly closing in the short expanse between them. She gripped the knife at her side, but he was already too close for it to be of any use. His claws could easily overtake her at a close distance, but she wouldn't go down without a fight. Not even when he encircled her in his arms and pulled her flush against him, did she release the grip on her weapon.

"Do you fear me, Shepard?" he purred in her ear. He pressed his face against the bare region where her armor stopped at her neck. He took in her sent, remembering it well. She smelled of flowers and pheromones. However, a scent that he didn't recognize lingered there, faint but obviously sexual in nature. His arms drew her in more tightly, his enhanced cybernetics adding an unnatural strength to his hold. His tongue lashed out, caressing the bare skin from neck to ear. He wanted her, but the other unfamiliar scent was distracting his desire.

Her grip on the knife loosened as her body was constricted against him. Her survival instincts were quickly being overtaken by her memories of him and her desire to relive those moments. The feeling of him was so familiar yet so alien and she couldn't place the difference. He was stronger, that was certain. However, there was something else…

"Who is he?" He growled menacingly against her neck. The rage in his voice jolted her out of her previous thoughts and she quickly became more alert.

"Who?" she asked, feigning ignorance. She stiffened when a shadow passed through the pouring of light that filtered into the room from the open door.

"Shepard!" Garrus called out from behind her, light from the outside spilling out around him.

Saren grinned, baring his teeth threateningly. "Ah, there he is." He glared at the other turian, scorn gleaming in his cybernetic eyes, daring him to challenge his claim. "Shepard," he purred affectionately. "Come with me."

His soothing voice sent shockwaves coursing through her body. A part of her ached to obey; a part that she struggled to control. Reaching a hand upward, she touched his face. Even through her gloves she could feel the metal plating that replaced his natural ones. She could see the gleam of metallic teeth, sharp and sinister. He had changed; his body now partially machine. She wondered how much of himself he had altered under Sovereign's control. How much of him would she still be able to recognize? She could hear a deep growl rise up from behind her but she was willed to ignore it, focusing only on the turian who held her. Behind her, she could hear the click of a gun being drawn and readied. However, it wasn't the sound of one, but two as both turians raised their weapons.

"Get away from him, Shepard," Garrus demanded sternly.

Keeping her pressed tightly to him, Saren turned sideways so she was no longer between him and the other turian. "If you desire to shoot me, you adolescent worm, do it. I guarantee you will do less harm to me than I will do to you," he taunted, baring his metallic teeth.

Garrus's eyes narrowed and his mandibles drew inward. "Gladly," he replied, lifting his gun a bit higher to take aim at Saren's head.

Shepard's eyes widened in horror. From the way he glared at the rogue Spectre with death in his gaze, and by the way he clenched his mandibles, as she had seen him do so many times when the intent to kill was strong, she knew he meant to pull that trigger. Reaction overrode logical thought and she slipped from Saren's now single-armed grip. Her quick reflexes were thrown into overdrive and she charged forth.

Garrus gasped in horror as the small female charged him with unimaginable speed, his finger already applying the pressure required to activate the trigger. Before he could stop it, the gun went off. His eyes shut tightly, not desiring to acknowledge the painful results of his action. She was too fast and he was too slow to stop himself. Just then, he felt a grip tighten on his arm and forced himself to open his eyes. She could see Shepard's face, her eyebrows drawn in tightly, causing the cute and familiar crease between them. He stared at her, unblinking. His gaze crossed over to his gun arm, which was trapped within her strong grasp and pushed to the side. She was alive and unharmed.

"Impressive," Saren purred from behind her. Releasing her grip on Garrus's arm, she scowled and spun back around toward the other turian. Saren watched her expectantly as if he predicted her choice to return to him. "We had best depart, before you blow us both to hell."

"Yes, we'd best," she replied flatly.

"Shepard…" Garrus objected.

She came to stand before him, features intent as she studied him. Then, without warning, her fist shot up and thrust into his jaw. The action stunned him enough to provide another opening. She raised her faintly glowing knee, making brutal contact with his stomach. She hoped he had enough organic parts left in him for it to make an impact. It did. As he hunched over in pain, she turned and grabbed Garrus's arm, leading him from the storage room. Before disappearing around the corner, she hesitated, daring to look back. Her gaze caught his as it glowed intensely in the dim of the room. And then she was gone.

* * *

><p>Sovereign escaped the nuclear blast, whisking Saren away with it. She knew she should have killed him on Virmire, but she couldn't. Old emotions came flooding back the moment she set eyes on him. There was also something in his voice… something that made her want to forget everything and be with him, while deep in her mind she knew it was wrong. She wondered if somehow, Sovereign's ability to indoctrinate was being transferred through Saren. Perhaps that was its way of gathering additional bodies towards its cause. She sighed, still remembering his touch against her skin. The way he held her was reminiscent of how he had all those months ago. She rubbed her eyes, smudging her eyeliner over her fingers. She normally avoided doing that, but she couldn't care less at the moment. Today, there were worse things than smudged makeup.<p>

Just then her door whisked open. However, nobody appeared to be there. Just when she stood to close it, a blue head with wide pretty eyes peaked in.

"Liara?" Shepard asked, surprised to see the asari out and about.

"Shepard…" Liara said nervously. She hesitated as if trying to decide if she should run away or stay. "I uh—you said I could stop by at any time. You know, to talk…"

Shepard gave the wayward asari a warm smile. "Of course," she said kindly. "Come in."

The asari hesitantly stepped into the room, her large blue eyes filled with uncertainty. The Commander sat back down on the edge of her bed and patted the spot beside her. "Have a seat."

Liara gave her a little smile and sat where she had indicated. For a while she didn't speak, but her silence spoke volumes. She wrung her hands together, staring down at them in quiet contemplation. "Shepard," she finally said, softly. "I know the decision you had to make was a difficult one…"

Shepard stared at the asari blankly. The decision regarding Ash was indeed difficult. Probably the most painful one she ever had to make. It was hard to lose one of your own, especially when that one had become a close friend. It tore her apart inside, and she feared Liara would say something that would deepen the wound.

"Shepard, the decision you made was the correct one, don't doubt that. I would only hope that in your position I would have made the same one." She looked up at the Commander, wetness enhancing the glossy paleness of her eyes. Then she smiled, the corners of her mouth turning up in a bittersweet arch. "Besides, Ashley would have hated us if we didn't let her go out in 'a blaze of glory', as she would have called it."

The blonde woman placed a comforting arm around Liara's shoulders, inviting the asari to lean against her if she desired. She knew what the other woman had really meant. If they had chosen to go back for Ash, and if at the off-chance she survived, she would have felt ashamed that several lives had been lost to save her own. No marine wanted to live with that feeling of guilt. She could feel the warm body of the asari move away briefly, only to let her head fall into the Spectre's lap. She was a bit surprised at the display of trust and reliance, but the timid young asari clearly desired the comfort only a friend could provide.

Shepard lowered her hand to lightly stroke along her blue head. Her fringe was surprisingly smooth, much different than that of a turian. In place of the hard exoskeleton a turian had, hers was more like flesh, soft and pliable. And from the contented sign that she had drawn, it seemed that she was comforted by the sensation.

"You know, Ashley read me this poem once. Said it reminded her of you," Liara said.

"Oh yeah? Let's hear it."

The asari smiled serenely, hearing Ashley's voice in her head as she began to recite it. "A mask. A perpetual natural disguiser of herself. Concealing her face, concealing her form. Changes and transformations every hour, every moment. Falling upon her even when she sleeps."

Shepard sat silently for a few moments, contemplating the poem's words. "We all wear masks," she informed her, finally.

"Yes, but yours never falters," Liara explained. "You're among friends, Shepard, however you only ever let us see the Spectre, the Commander, and the soldier. The times when you've let the woman slip into view, it was beautiful… It was you."

"When you show people too much of yourself, you become vulnerable." This she knew from experience.

"There is strength in trust, Shepard," Liara said. "Place your trust in your friends and you become unstoppable… Ashley taught me that," she confessed, sorrow evident in her voice.

"I'm sorry it had to turn out this way, Liara," Shepard sighed, her eyes stinging with the threat of tears.

"I have no regrets, Shepard. You shouldn't either," the asari replied.


	18. Grounded

**I apologize for the delay. Being busy and frazzled had left me with a bit of writer's block. I hope you're all still enjoying the story. I'd finish it nonetheless but I of course wouldn't want anyone to lose interest :)**

**I still want to continue with a sequel and it's not too much longer before the events of ME1 end, so if you're still with me, stay tuned.  
><strong>

Shepard quickly made her way from the CIC to the stairs leading down to the second level. She was starving. She, Wrex, and Tali had spent the better part of the day retrieving Wrex's family's ceremonial armor. Unfortunately there had been more pirates than they had planned for, so the whole "get it and get out" plan was thrown out the airlock. It was a long day, but well worth the returns. Wrex couldn't have been happier, but now she couldn't be hungrier. As Shepard stepped into the mess, her breath caught in her throat. She could see a woman, dark hair pulled back in a loose bun. Her head was bowed down as she regarded the tea bag that was steeping in her mug, taking no notice of the Commander's presence. Her tanned complexion glowed in the harsh lighting of the mess. Shepard felt as if she was looking at an apparition as she went about her business, repeating life's tasks as if nothing was out of place… as if she never died.

"Ash-" she started, but stopped herself when the woman peered up at her. It wasn't the Chief.

"Good afternoon Commander," the woman, greeted cheerfully, a smile creasing her face.

"Crewman Michelle," she greeted in return, with a nod of her head. She forced a smile and, forgetting why she went to the mess to begin with, she quickly turned and left. She pinched the bridge of her nose between her fingers as she hurried away. She soon found herself standing before the team storage lockers. Resting her hand against Ashley's locker, she couldn't help the frown that pulled at the corners of her lips. Marines died, it was a part of the job. But to be forced to make a decision that would sacrifice the life of her team member and leave them behind, left a bitter taste in her mouth. Earlier that day she had sent a message to Ashley's family, informing them of her death. She, of course, had many praising things to say about the Chief, but it didn't make it any easier. It was bad enough that she couldn't even bring her home for burial.

"Shepard," said a deep voice.

She opened her eyes to find Garrus, his mandibles drawn together in discontent. "Hey," she returned simply.

"I'm sorry about Ashley. I know you two had grown close," he said, glancing at the locker under her hand.

Shepard peered up at him with a forced blank expression. "She was a good soldier. She died honorably." Despite her level voice, those words shook her.

They stood in silence for a while, Garrus seemingly unsure of how to say what was on his mind. "Look, Shepard… about before—"

She forced a smile. "Hey, we're friends, right?"

"Of course."

"Good," she replied. "Cause that's what we all need right now. It's only going to get worse from here on out, and I need you to stick by me."

"Like I said before, Shepard. I'd follow you through Hell."

"Thanks, Garrus," she replied, her smile now genuine. The urge to reach out and touch him was strong, but she resisted it. Friendship wasn't necessarily all she wanted from Garrus, however, whichever way she could have him would suffice. She vowed not to press the issue unless he did. The more she thought about it, the more she assumed he must have had a good reason for not wanting to carry it further. Perhaps he would change his mind, perhaps not. Either way, it didn't matter in the end.

The silence between them grew like a thick cloud and he seemed to fidget somewhat nervously. "Shepard… "he said finally.

She gazed up at him with a questioning but faintly hopeful look in her eyes. His mandibles flared for a split second before clenching back against his face.

"I… 'd better let you get back to work," he said hesitantly. He seemed to waver slightly before turning and heading back in the direction of the elevator. She couldn't help but watch him until he disappeared.

* * *

><p>It seemed Virmire was not a total loss. Sovereign was pleased that Saren was able to recover what could possibly become a valuable asset. He was to deliver it to the Shadow Broker immediately and would likely become a fallback option if their current plan were to fail. He wasn't certain of all the details surrounding these alternative plans, and really, he didn't care. In his mind, the trip to Hagalaz was an unneeded diversion. <em>He<em> had no intention of failing. That Sovereign required a back-up plan that didn't include him irked Saren.

Before he could begin to swelter about the possibility of failure his thoughts were whisked away by memories of _her. _He couldn't seem to shake the image of the pale haired human from his mind. Her eyes still held intense feelings for him, that was obvious enough. She had given into his embrace quite easily and the way she felt against him, the way her skin tasted, and the inhaling of her scent were all bitter reminders of their lost time. But he would have her again soon enough and together they will witness the dawn of a new universe.

* * *

><p>When the Normandy docked at the Citadel, something didn't seem right. And when Shepard stood with Udina before the Council, things seemed even more off. Shepard was ordered to dock at the Citadel by Udina, stating that the Council was amassing a large force to send after Saren. That was, apparently, a lie. The Council had no intention of sending a fleet after Saren and their excuse was as pathetic as ever. They feared that war would erupt from their presence in the Terminus Systems. That was also, in fact, the reason for the deception. Making Shepard think they were going to take action, and ordering her here to accompany the so-called fleet, was merely a convenient way to keep her from going after Saren and causing conflict with the Terminus Systems. Little did they know the consequences would be even more dire if Saren were to find the Conduit and attack the Citadel. They thought their forces would be enough to keep Saren and the geth at bay but Shepard knew they would find themselves fatally incorrect. It wasn't Saren, nor the geth they should be concerned about… it was the Reapers.<p>

So here she was, grounded on the Citadel, the Normandy locked down until the Council deemed her ready for release. This wasn't right, and every race was going to suffer for it. There was absolutely no way she was going to sit around without trying what she could. So she made her way to the office of the one Councilor that would listen to her.

When she showed up at Councilor Tevos's office, the asari seemed rather unsurprised to see her. Eyes like black irises regarded her kindly and without suspicion as if knowing exactly why she had come.

"Shepard," Tevos started. "I know why you are here, and I'm afraid there is nothing I can do unless another vote is cast in your favor."

"People are going to die if we don't reach the Conduit first!" Shepard objected.

"We don't know that, Shepard. I'm afraid even I cannot entirely believe the existence of the Reapers. But I am still on your side," the Councilor assured her.

"Then convince the other Councilors to release the Normandy," she pleaded.

"I'm afraid I cannot. The fear of war with the Terminus Systems weighs too heavily on their minds. The salarian Councilor has openly voiced his concern of this and the turian Councilor seemed a bit swayed by his vote." Tevos paused for a moment before continuing. "Perhaps you could speak with Valern."

Shepard made a face. "How would that help? My confronting him would just piss him off more."

Tevos laughed, almost musically, a twinkle gleaming in her purple-black eyes. "Oh Shepard, the turian Councilor is quite fond of you, that much is obvious. If anyone can convince him to change his vote, it's you."

The Commander narrowed her eyes at the asari. She wondered how much she actually knew of her "relationship" with Valern, but decided against pressing the issue further. Perhaps seeking him out was her only choice.

"Fine, I'll see what I can do," she said. "Thank you for your time, Tevos." She bowed her head slightly in farewell.

The asari bowed her head in return. "Goddess watch over you, Shepard."

* * *

><p>Shepard felt her irritation flare up as she saw the toothy smirks on the guards' faces as she approached the turian Councilor's hallway. The guard on the right leaned in to whisper to the other, only to have their grins grow wider as they watched her advance.<p>

She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at the smug turians. "I'm here to see the Councilor," she stated. It came out as more of a demand than a request.

"Of course you are," the one on the right said with a wink, a light blue pattern adorning his face.

She scowled, her impatience flaring up with her irritation. "Are you going to let me in or not?" she spat.

"Shouldn't _I_ be asking that question?" the turian on the left asked, the red markings on his brow rising suggestively.

"If you continue to waste my time, Valern will have no choice but to find himself new guards," she said evenly, her hand brushing over the pistol at her side.

The blue marked turian flashed his teeth in amusement as he pressed the button on the door. As she walked between them he chuckled, causing her to stop and glare. "Just so you know… I don't mind sloppy seconds," he declared.

"Fuck you."

"I look forward to it," he snickered.

Ignoring the guard's last remark, she continued into the office, letting the door swish closed behind her. Valern was waiting at his desk, hands resting under his chin patiently. When she came to stand before him, he leaned back in his chair, regarding her with an almost haughty expression.

"Shepard," he growled. "This is _quite_ the surprise."

"I'm sure it's not," she sneered.

He chuckled with mock amusement. "So, _Commander_, what brings you here?"

She folded her hands over her chest and glowered at him, chin raised in the air defiantly. "I need you to release the Normandy."

He shook his head and raised himself to his feet, stepping away from his desk. "Well, well, well," he said mockingly. "You want my help, do you?"

Her eyes narrowed at him. She didn't like the false snooty attitude he was taking with her. It was obviously a façade just to piss her off. It worked. She dropped her hands in frustration and turned on her heels. "I don't need this," she spat as she stormed to the exit.

"I didn't say I wouldn't help you, Shepard," he rumbled.

She stopped suddenly, turning her head to look over her shoulder at him. "I don't need your help," she said flatly. Turning her attention back to the exit she continued walking toward it. Before she could react, she felt a heavy grip on her arm, the momentum of it spinning her back around to stare into furious green eyes.

He could smell two turian scents on her, both vaguely familiar. They were, however, too faint to pinpoint their origin. But it wasn't the scents that had him irritated, but her immediate willingness to leave without any attempt to push for his assistance. He wanted her to admit that she needed him.

"You _do_ need my help Shepard," he snarled. "Without my vote, you and your crew are grounded here. I am, however, willing to cast my vote in your favor…"

"Oh but let me guess," she said sarcastically. "There's a catch right?"

"I wouldn't call it a _catch_. But perhaps my mind could be swayed…" he purred, sweeping taloned fingers through her pale hair.

She stood, unmoving, her expression scrutinizing. "You're unbelievable. The entire galaxy is on the verge of destruction. I'm the one leading the team with enough quads to do anything about it and you have the _nerve_ to use the lives of the galaxy as an incentive to get what? A quick fuck?" She paused for him to react. When he didn't she spun around on her heels and continued towards the door. She stopped once more, but didn't turn to look back. "I don't care if you help me. But I'll find a way to stop this threat. At least _my_ conscience will be clear."

* * *

><p>After having returned from the showers, Shepard reached into her locker, pulling out a fresh, neatly folded tactical uniform. She had some time to kill before her meeting with Captain Anderson. Last she had spoken with him it seemed he had a plan, which was all well and good as she was running out of options. At this point, if anyone could get her off the Citadel, it was him. Her brows knitted warily as she felt eyes on her. Turning, she found Kaidan walking towards her, having seemingly returned from the showers as well. His dark hair was slicked back, glossy with dampness. He wore a white t-shirt and a pair of form-fitting military grade undershorts, much like her own.<p>

"Commander," Kaidan greeted as he approached. "You're going to meet with Captain Anderson today?"

She tried to relax a bit under his gaze, but he was making it difficult. "Yeah. Perhaps there is something he can do to release the Normandy."

"And if not?" he asked, shifting his stance.

"Then we find another way."

"How can you remain so calm?"

"All a part of being the Commander. If I don't, who will?" She shrugged.

Kaidan considered her a moment as if trying to making out any wavering calm in her expression. After admitting defeat on seeing past her Commander's mask, he took a few steps toward her, an intent look shadowing his features. "You always so composed. I'm curious… what makes you tick, Shepard?" he asked, using her name to address the woman rather than his commanding officer.

She almost laughed out loud at the irony of that question. Nearly everything made her tick, she just did a damn good job at hiding it at times. She decided to stick with one simple answer. However she wasn't sure if it was meant to be flirty or get him to shut the hell up. "Men who ask too many questions," she replied with a smirk.

"Is that so?" she asked, moving in close enough that she had to back up a few steps to regain some semblance of personal space. Her back hit the wall and he persisted. He was so close she could almost feel the dampness that still clung to him from the showers. His brown eyes glimmered as he regarded her intently. "And what do you think of _me_, Shepard?" he asked in a smooth voice that sent goose bumps over her skin.

"I think you ask too many questions," she replied, her smirk fading as she squirmed under the intensity of his gaze.

"I'm serious, Shepard. I want to know what you really think of me… as a man."

She paused, trying to come up with something that may appease him. "Well, you're obviously attractive…" It was, sadly, the best she could do in such an awkward situation.

"That's a start. Is that all?" he asked, raising an eyebrow curiously.

"You can't put me on the spot like that," she objected.

Kaidan chuckled. "Every day you're put on the spot, forced to make more difficult decisions than anyone could even imagine, and you can't tell a man what you think of him?"

"It's not that easy, Kaidan."

He inched his face in close to hers. She could feel his hot breath caress her flushed cheeks. Placing his hands on the wall behind her, he held her captive with his gaze. "Nothing is ever easy for us, Shepard," he whispered, his lips grazing hers. "Sometimes you just have to do what you feel."

She could feel the wetness of his tongue as it lightly caressed along her lips. The sensation sent shivers down her spine causing her to drop the folded clothes to the floor. She had to fight to keep her legs from giving out as they grew weaker at his increasingly intimate proximity. Her mouth parted as his tongue pushed its way past her lips. She knew she couldn't allow this to continue but the situation overwhelmed her. Garrus's rejection had hit her harder than she cared to admit. Kaidan wanted her, and by the way her body was reacting to him… well, maybe she wanted him too. She allowed her eyes close as she lost herself in the moment.

"Hey Commander, I just got a message from the Council." Joker's amplified voice interrupted through the comm system.

Her eyes immediately snapped open and she quickly pushed Kaidan away. The look on his face was one of utter frustration and unwaning desire. She struggled to steady her breath before answering the call.

"Joker, were you spying?" she demanded with a hint of venom in her voice.

"No mam, just figured you were somewhere on the ship and thought you'd like to know that the Council has released the Normandy. We have a go-ahead to pursue Saren." he informed her.

She had a feeling he was lying about not spying on them, however there was no way she could be angry about it upon hearing such good news. "Any idea what changed their minds?"

"Apparently the turian Councilor changed his vote in our favor. I'm not sure what you did to change his mind, but it must've been _good_," he declared suggestively.

Kaidan flashed her an agitated glare, which she ignored. _She_ knew that she hadn't done anything questionable to convince Valern and she most certainly didn't have to answer to anyone about it either. "Joker, send a message to Captain Anderson. Tell him that we're leaving for Ilos immediately and that I won't have a chance to meet with him today. And get us to the Mu Relay as soon as possible."

"Will do, Commander."

She turned back to Kaidan, who was waiting patiently nearby. "Sorry, Kaidan. There are some things I need to take care of before we reach Ilos."

"Understood, Commander," he replied. "I'll… see you later then?"

"Of course," she replied. When he met her with a suggestive smile a realization hit her. _Wait, what did I just agree to? _She squeezed her eyes shut tightly for a brief moment before rushing off to deliver her orders to the crew.

* * *

><p>Shepard leaned back in her chair to stretch. It would be several hours before they would reach the Mu Relay and she felt nervous. What if they had been grounded on the Citadel for too long and Saren had already reached the Conduit? Saren was ahead of her, but by how far she could not tell. She ran her fingers over her temples in short circles, massaging the painful pulsing that had begun to intensify. <em>Great time to develop a headache…<em>

Suddenly, she heard the familiar sound of her door swishing open and, for a moment, her heart leapt. She turned her attention from her datapad to find the dark-haired Lieutenant watching her, the door sliding closed behind him. She silently cursed herself for expecting to see a certain turian instead.

"I said I'd see you later and… it's later," he explained, walking toward her.

She stood away from her desk, finding it unnecessary to move any closer to him as he had already scaled most of the distance before she rose from her chair. She wasn't sure how to react to his presence. Part of her wanted to respond to his attraction to her while another part wanted him to leave.

"Shepard, about before… I'm sorry if I was too pushy."

She shook her head on the contrary. "Not at all. It was nice," she said with a slight grin.

A smile crossed over his lips at her response. "Oh yeah? Well that's good to know…" Before he finished his statement he grabbed her wrist and pulled her to him. She could feel his soft lips press against hers and a needy pressure on the small of her back as he held her against him. The hand that had grasped her wrist was now caressing up her torso, over the thin fabric of her tank top. His muscular body felt firm against hers, much unlike a turian's which donned hard plates that sheltered leathery flesh. A flash of Garrus's body pressed against hers invaded her mind, but she quickly shoved it away, pressing her lips more forcefully against his to help banish the memory. His palm wandered upward to brush against her breast, sending an involuntary shudder down her body. More images of feral passion interrupted her thoughts. Claws tearing through layers of fabric. Hands, adorned with sharp talons, brushing against her bare skin. The images increased her desire, not for the human man who was now touching her, but for the turian that lingered in her thoughts. This wasn't right… not now. It wouldn't be fair. Kaidan was a good friend and she just wasn't sure she wanted to take it any further yet.

"Kaidan stop," she murmured against his mouth. Her muffled protest only seemed to entice him all the more and he began pushing her shirt upward, exposing her bare skin. "Stop," she demanded more sternly. She shoved her hands against his chest, just forceful enough to make him understand she meant it.

When their mouths parted, she braved to face the disappointment in his expression. She could vividly make out a mix of hurt, concern, and underlying anger. "What's wrong?"

"I can't do this right now, Kaidan. I'm sorry."

He sighed, eyes narrowing. "It's Garrus, isn't it?"

"No," she blurted out. _Obvious lie, idiot._

"Then what is it?" His eyebrows knitted as he studied her, hurt evident in his gaze.

She hesitated, not quite knowing, herself what the reason was. "I have a lot of things going on right now. I just need time to sort them out before I can start anything."

His hardened gaze was scrutinizing at first. After a few moments his expression finally softened and he reached a hand up to brush against her cheek. When she didn't recoil his features relaxed. "Okay," he said at last. "However long you need."

She smiled back at him, slight but genuine. "Thanks Kaidan."

When he had left she slumped back in her chair and sighed. She was glad that Kaidan had backed down so easily. Perhaps he understood the pressure she was under and didn't want to push too hard. Or perhaps he was just intimidated by her. No matter the reason, she was relieved. She now had a bit more time to sort out the annoying personal conflicts. Inter-team relationships were usually expected, to a point. Spend enough time with people and you are bound to fall into something. But there appeared more in Kaidan's eyes than the need for a hapless fling, and for once, she didn't know how to handle it.

* * *

><p>Garrus's avian eyes glowered at the Lieutenant as he left Shepard's room. Alenko's gaze met the turian's for a split second, irritation clouding his expression before disappearing toward the elevator. Garrus was in the mess when he had initially spotted Kaidan heading for Shepard's cabin, a smug grin on the human's face. He didn't know what was going on, if anything, but something had caused rage to well up inside him. As the Lieutenant disappeared through the door, he found himself growling. It would have been easy for her to give in to the other human's affections. It would have made sense. It would have been accepted. And now Kaidan had left, much too soon for anything to have occurred behind that door. The look he had was one of obvious disappointment. <em>Good.<em>

He didn't know what was going through his mind when he went to her door, but he found himself standing before it, deciding if he should go in or return to the Mako. Again his body reacted without consulting his brain and he pressed the button on the door. As soon as it slid open, her gaze swung toward him, and she moved to sit prostrate in her chair, obviously surprised by his presence. "Garrus."

"Hey Shepard…" he trailed off, not knowing why he was even standing here to begin with. _Quick! Think of something._ "I just saw Kaidan leave. Everything alright?" _Not that, idiot._

Her brows scrunched in a sense of confusion. "Yes, everything's fine." She waited for him to say something more. He didn't. "Garrus, I don't really like my door being left open…"

"Oh, of course, sorry Shepard," he grinned sheepishly as he stepped further into the room, letting the door slide shut behind him.

She raised an eyebrow curiously. "Do you need something?"

He shifted nervously under her gaze. Normally he would've enjoyed trying her patience, but he wasn't certain what he could get away with anymore. Not since… "Not really. Just thought you might need some company."

"Company?" she asked quizzically, seemingly trying to decide if there was anything underlying in the word.

He pulled out a chair at the center table and sat. Resting his arms on the table, he peered at her across the room. "Everyone is under a lot of stress, Shepard. You more than anyone. I thought you might want someone to talk to."

She stood from her chair and stretched her arms over her head. Garrus watched with interest as her shirt lifted just enough to reveal a bit of toned flesh. Passionate memories of touching that flesh resurfaced. The tautness of muscle that flexed beneath her smooth skin was vivid in his mind. He quickly shook it away. Now was not the time.

"Would you like a drink? I have some dextro-friendly stuff. Might not be the best…"

"Sure."

She brought out two bottles, one with a golden hue and another, orange. This one she placed in front of him with a glass. She promptly poured some of the golden liquid into her glass and waited for him to do the same. When his glass was filled, she indicated that he raise it for a "toast", an obvious human custom. She smirked when he awkwardly raised his glass.

"I'm not entirely familiar with this practice," he admitted.

"It's a custom to honor those who deserve mention. I'll go first." She smiled and raised her glass up high. "To Ashley. May her life and her sacrifice be forever remembered." Her eyes glimmered in the light of the room as she remembered the other woman, her companion and friend. She kept her glass raised high. "Your turn."

"To you, Shepard, for making the impossible possible. And for having the courage to lead where no other would." He grinned, eyes locked with hers. He seemed to have taken her by surprise with his words as she appeared speechless. She clanked her glass to his and brought it to her lips to drink. He followed suit. The beverage wasn't bad at all.

* * *

><p>She woke to find her head throbbing, though not much worse than it had been the previous night. The after-effects of the alcohol left her vision hazy and senses momentarily dulled. She rubbed her head, her fingers tousling her hair carelessly. She stretched her arm out across the bed, and while her arm should have come to rest on the remaining span of bed, it instead landed on a solid surface. She suddenly became alert, the clarity instantly returning to her vision. <em>Oh shit.<em>

She couldn't remember what had happened that brought Garrus into her bed that night. Only bits and pieces were clear while the rest of the previous night was a muddled mess. She wondered if Garrus would remember what had happened or if he would be just as surprised as she when he awoke. She planned to not find out. She slipped off the end of the bed in an attempt to disturb him as minimally as possible, uncertain if she wanted to face the uneasiness that might come from his realization that he'd made the same mistake twice. Quickly throwing on the clothes that had been strewn about from the night's encounter, she was about to make for the door when she hesitated, stealing a glance at the naked turian who was still resting peacefully upon her bed. The sheet was carelessly strewn over his bottom half, the color of it complimenting the grey hue of his plates. The image brought a smile to her lips.

"Bridge to the Commander. We're five minutes out from the Mu Relay," Joker's voice sounded off over the comm system, interrupting her silent admiration of the turian.

_Fuck, Joker. Could you have any worse timing? _she groaned to herself. "Be right there, Joker."

Garrus's eyes fluttered open, appearing a bit dazed. He raised himself onto his elbows, glancing down at his covered waist and then at Shepard. She could feel her cheeks burning in embarrassment. She had no idea what to say at this point.

"Did we uhh…?" Garrus asked, trailing off suggestively.

Any answer she would have given him such as "yes" or "maybe" would have enhanced the awkwardness of the situation and the uncomfortable silence that may have followed. What could she say? "Joker said we're hitting the Mu Relay in five minutes. Ilos isn't far off after that." _Way to be tactful, Shepard._

"Oh…" He rubbed the back of his neck nervously as if not knowing how to else to respond to her unexpected statement.

_Okay, I was wrong. Just as awkward._ "I think we did, but I can't remember much," she finally admitted. His eyes rose to meet hers and he held her gaze unwaveringly.

"Commander. Three minutes," Joker announced over the comm.

"Yes, Joker," she replied into the air before turning her attention back to Garrus. "I gotta go. Meet me in the cockpit as soon as you're ready." She saw his nod of affirmation before sprinting from the room. As she made her way up the stairs she was soon joined by Kaidan. When she saw him approach she thanked the stars that he wouldn't be around to catch Garrus leaving her room. That was a bit of drama she didn't need right now.


	19. For You

**Here it is. The chapter that wraps up ME1. I hope you enjoy it and are looking forward to the sequel! Please know that I appreciate all of your comments. Also if you have anything you would like to see in the story, feel free to voice your opinion. Some readers have given me ideas for story elements and I've been enjoying my attempts to incorporate some of them.**

**Please check out my Profile - as I wasn't able to post it here - for a link to a (DeviantArt) drawing of Shepard & Saren, created by the wonderfully talented morie91, using this story as her inspiration. The artwork is absolutely beautiful and sexy!  
><strong>

* * *

><p>Vigil was truly the most remarkable remnant of Prothean history ever found. The jumbled holo image held the information Shepard needed; information regarding the appearance of the Reapers and the untimely fall of the Protheans. The Reapers were returning, but Vigil still held out hope. If this highly advanced VI could actually feel hope, then it placed every ounce of it in Shepard and her team. Vigil revealed the true purpose of the Citadel as being a mass relay. One that is linked to dark space where the Reapers now wait. The Reapers waited for the signal that would be sent by Sovereign. This signal would prompt the Citadel's keepers to activate the relay and summon the malicious machines from dark space to commence their harvest. However, those that were left of the Protheans before their complete annihilation, altered the signal. Sovereign's signal was now being ignored and the Reapers were trapped. Now Vigil was sending Shepard through the Conduit, a mass relay created by the Protheans that was a direct link to the Citadel. She was to pass through the Conduit and stop Saren whose plans were to transfer control of the Citadel to Sovereign, who would then have the ability to activate the relay.<p>

Before making their way back to the Mako she transferred Vigil's data file onto her omni-tool. This file was their means of taking control of the station before Sovereign. It might just be their only hope, and it was up to Shepard to get it there. According to Vigil they weren't far behind Saren. He hadn't yet reached the Conduit, and if they hurried, they could make it. Failure was not an option.

"I'm driving," Shepard stated matter-of-factly, hopping into the driver's seat of the Mako.

"This will be _fun_," Garrus mumbled sarcastically.

"If anyone can get us there in time, Shepard can," Tali assured him as she slid into the back seat.

Garrus moved in next to Shepard and peered over his shoulder at the quarian. "I'm not doubting that. At least the only pedestrians in danger will be geth."

"And they'll be an oil smear on my grill," Shepard commented with a mischievous grin. She shifted the Mako into top gear, throwing Garrus and Tali back in their seats with a thud.

* * *

><p>"Councilor! Citadel security has ordered that you evacuate the station. We are to head for the Destiny Ascension at once," the turian guard informed him.<p>

Valern peered up at the other turian, his expression calm as he finished readying his heavy pistol. "Any updates on the source of the threat?"

"No sir. Several hostile ships have descended, but there have been no updates on the type of enemy we're facing."

Valern shook his head grimly. If Shepard was right about all this, then the enemy was Saren and the geth. It would not be an easy fight. "I hope you are prepared, Drik. I have a feeling we'll be facing some synthetics on the way."

The light blue patterns on Drik's face were suddenly illuminated in a purple hue as an explosion occurred outside the office window. The red ominous glow of flame churned brightly, casting shadows over the room. The other guard, Algan, leaned in through the open door. "Councilor, we need to move."

Valern, heavy pistol in hand, followed the guards through the dim, winding hallways of the Citadel Tower. He couldn't help but wonder where Shepard was at this very moment. Did she find the so-called Conduit? Or had Saren reached it first and that is why they were now under attack? Could she have been correct about the mythological Reapers? Could this be the beginning of the end of the galactic races? He huffed, chastising himself for such irrational thinking. _It's not possib- _his thoughts were quickly cut short as Drik and Algan halted before him. Up ahead, a small troop of geth passed through the intersecting hallway, taking no notice of their presence. Valern growled deeply as he caught a familiar scent that traveled through the air. As the machines passed through, shadows disappearing down the hall, another figure appeared. A turian, his pale plating and bare face highly visible in the back-up lighting, followed behind the geth. As he passed by, he halted momentarily to glance at Valern, the synthetic blue of his eyes glowing maliciously. He grinned, baring his teeth before continuing on after the hoard of machines.

"Saren," Valern snarled. The two guards simultaneously glanced back at the Councilor questionably. "The rogue Spectre?" Algan whispered.

Too filled with rage to respond to his inquiry, Valern pushed through the other turians, ready to pursue the traitor. A tight grip on his arm stopped him and he spun around to glare into the silvery eyes of Drik. "Sorry sir, but there is no time. If we don't reach the Destiny Ascension soon we'll be stranded."

"Fine," Valern growled. His eyes narrowed as he continued down the corridor. _Shepard, where are you?_

* * *

><p>Anderson raced through the Presidium grounds, gunning down any geth that stood in his path. Ambassador Udina was hard on his heels, keeping up as best as he could behind his human shield. Udina wasn't a soldier, but Anderson expected him to make some type of attempt at a helpful effort. He didn't. Big surprise. They stormed over the long pathway heading toward the Citadel Tower, but were soon stopped short by burning debris blocking their path.<p>

"Now what?" Udina shouted angrily, glaring at the other man.

"We run through it. The flames aren't that high." And indeed they weren't. Only rising to about mid-thigh, the flames would be passable with enough speed and leap.

"I am _not_ jumping over _that_, Captain. Find. Another. Way," he demanded, pounding his fist into an open palm to emphasize every word.

Anderson shook his head in the negative. "There is no other way. Passing through the buildings is too risky."

"I've made up my mind, Captain," Udina declared, folding his arms over his chest stubbornly.

Anderson sighed. The Ambassador was leaving him no choice. "Then I'll apologize in advance for what I'm about to do."

Udina narrowed his eyes. "Captain, what are you—" But before Udina could utter his last words, Anderson's heavy fist collided with his surprised mug, causing the Ambassador's knees to buckle. The Captain quickly scooped him up before he could hit the ground and heaved the lanky man over his shoulder. Holding his breath, he sprinted towards the opposing flames and leapt. As he passed over them he could feel the faint sensation of heat licking at his heels. Safely landing on the other side, he was pleased to find that he had not so much as a hole in the pants. Adjusting the weight of the Ambassador on his shoulder, he quickly made for the Tower.

* * *

><p>According to Avina the damage to the Citadel was astounding and the civilian casualties high. The Citadel's VI was unable to locate Captain Anderson. Geth swarmed the Presidium, covering about every 20 square meters. She hoped the Captain had made it out safely as the machines seemed very eager to destroy anyone remaining on the Citadel. Nearly every mobile geth on the Presidium was apparently alerted to their presence. Shepard and her squad were forced to take cover behind a fallen chunk of the structure above when the machines had begun pouring into their location. While they had a decent vantage point, it was still going to take a while to bring them all down, especially with the occasional heavy fire they were receiving. Just when she thought it couldn't get any worse, a single round passed by, too close for comfort, hitting the rocky debris that acted as their only cover.<p>

"Sniper!" Shepard shouted. Squinting through the smoke and dust behind them, she strained to make out the exact location of the enemy behind them.

Garrus turned around to follow her gaze. "I don't see—wait! There!" he said, pointing toward an overturned transport vehicle. Behind it, she could make out the red coloring of a geth sniper bobbing in and out of its cover.

"I'll take care of it, you keep taking out the others," she ordered. He nodded and returned to join Tali in picking off the swarms of geth at their frontal position. Shepard lined her sight up with the sniper's head, preparing to take it out the next time it rose out of cover. When she had the "flashlight" of its head finally lined up in her crosshairs, she heard four heavy pistol rounds go off, followed by two shotgun rounds. The shots, which were obviously not from her, blew the bastard's synthetic head right of its metal shoulders. She waited a few moments, viewing out of her scope until she could be certain that those that approached were indeed friendlies. She could make out three turians carefully advancing upon their location from behind the transport. Almost instantly, she noticed the intricate white markings of the turian taking the lead. For a moment, she had almost mistaking him for Nihlus, the white clan markings stirring up suppressed emotions. That was, until she took note of the other two, of whom she quickly recognized as being Valern's guards.

"We got friendlies incoming. Choose your shots to cover their advancement." She gave the newcomers a brief wave and spun around to join Garrus and Tali in picking off the geth.

The Councilor and his guards doubled it when they saw Shepard wave them on. They quickly dove in behind cover, shoving in between Garrus and Shepard. Garrus shot the Councilor a quick scowl before returning his attention to the hostiles.

"Shepard! What a pleasant surprise to find you here," he declared, mandibles flaring.

"We can talk when we're not getting our asses shot at," she pointed out, not taking her attention from the enemy ahead. "Either stay down or shoot." She didn't expect him to do the latter, nor did she expect him to hit anything. He did both, and well in fact.

* * *

><p>"All clear," Shepard announced after her final scan of the area. She was the first to rise to her feet, indicating to the others that it was safe. She glanced at one of Councilor's guards, who had been holding his hand tightly to his lower right abdomen. "Are you alright?" she asked moving past Valern to get a closer look at the injury.<p>

Valern's mandibles clenched when he caught the scent that had been coming from her and not her young turian squad mate as he had originally mistaken. The scent was potently sexual, and very noticeable even through the smells of death of destruction that surrounded them. Suppressing an involuntary growl, he remained silent.

"I'm Fine," Drik replied, voice sounding rather strained. "Got hit with a stray round when we left the Tower."

"Here, let me help," she said, taking out some medigel and applying it to the wound. "That should help a bit until you can see a doctor."

"Thanks, Commander," Drik said appreciatively.

"Where are you guys headed?" Shepard asked, turning her attention to Valern.

"The Destiny Ascension. The way to the docking station was blocked through the Tower, so we need to take the back way through C-Sec," Valern responded. "What happened, Shepard? I thought you went after Saren. Why is he here?"

"It's a long story," she replied simply. "You can debrief me when we eradicate the threat. Right now I have to stop him."

"You'll find Saren in the Tower. I believe he was heading for the Council Chambers. We passed him and his entourage of geth on the way out."

"And you didn't try to stop him?" Shepard questioned.

"I wanted to…" he growled, stealing a sideways glance at Drik.

"Commander, all due respect, but the Councilor is too valuable to be chasing around a rogue Spectre and a band of armed geth. That's why the Council relies on the Spectres," Algan chimed in.

Shepard crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow at Valern. "Then it's a good thing I'm being permitted to do my job now."

"You were right about Saren. I will not deny that it was the Council's misjudgment that likely assisted in the success of this attack. And do not look at me like I had just sprouted hair, Shepard. I am not the asshole – for lack of a better term – you think I am."

Shepard grinned at him, green eyes crinkling in amusement. "I never thought such a thing."

"Right…"

"Sir, we must go," Drik interrupted.

"Be careful, Shepard," Valern said, touching her arm. "I expect you to provide me with a thorough briefing tomorrow." He grinned upon hearing the jealous, nearly inaudible growl from the Vakarian child. He gave the woman one final glance before following his guards towards C-Sec.

* * *

><p>The Council Chambers was reduced from being a lively place, blooming with plant life and people of all races, to a dismal and desolate hell in space. The beautiful flora that decorated the space crackled and burned. Most of what was once green was now blackened char. Shepard and her team stormed through the thick smoke, gunning down the geth that blocked their path to the stairs. As the hostiles were cleared, they quickly made their way up the long flights, leading up to the platform where she had received her Spectre status months ago. As they reached the top, Shepard squinted, her burning eyes adjusting to the smokier air at higher elevation. Her heart clenched tightly in her chest when she saw him. His armor blended in with the pale grey hue of his plates but contrasted against the orange of the control panel behind him. His eyes burned brightly like two blue suns in a hazy red and grey nebula. She noticed the way he gripped his assault rifle tightly to his side, prepared to act if necessary.<p>

"Shepard, you are just in time. In a few moments Sovereign will have control of all the Citadel systems. The relay will open. And the Reapers will return," Saren announced audibly. "It will be the dawn of a new day, Shepard. I am glad you will be here to experience it with me."

"Saren, don't do this! The Reapers won't let you live. They'll wipe out everyone, including you," she said, her strong voice carrying over the wide space.

"You don't understand Shepard. There is still a need for organics in the new order. The Reapers need men and women of action. Sovereign recognizes your value. You have impressed it, as I knew you would." He grinned. "Just think, Shepard. Finally we can be together again." He outstretched his arms, beckoning her to him.

This half turian half machine was not Saren, at least not fully. He was brainwashed. But Shepard still saw a chance. She began moving toward him, but a taloned hand quickly stopped her. She glanced back to see Garrus's concerned expression. "Trust me," she assured him before slipping from his grasp.

Saren scowled at the younger turian, flashing his metallic fangs. "She doesn't need you anymore, pup," he sneered with a dismissive wave of his hand. He turned his attention back to the woman that approached.

As she appeared before her former lover, only inches away, she could feel her resolve slipping but somehow managed to retain her stony expression. "Why are you doing this Saren?"

He moved quickly, gathering her in his tight, desperate embrace. She could hear the low rumbling of the turian's purring in her ear as he nuzzled her. It was comforting, reminding her of the better times they had shared; before Nihlus died… before _he_ left. There was no one to blame anymore. Their fates were all a product of circumstance, brought about by the Reapers whose existence depended on the annihilation of organic life. Saren had been brainwashed and it was up to her to bring him back to himself. "Why?" she whispered again. She shuddered as his hot breath feathered against her cheek.

"I did this for you, Shepard. For us." His long, rough tongue darted from his mouth to taste her. It slid down along the exposed part of her neck and trailed back up along her jaw. She could feel her eyes burn, holding back the bitter tears of memory. She gasped as his tongue left her skin and he continued to speak. "I could not live without you, Shepard. The Reapers were coming. Sovereign was our only salvation."

"You could have resisted," she bit out. "You could have fought beside me. If we let them win now, they won't spare us. We'll become their slaves, like the husks. We'd be worse than dead. Is that what you want? For us? For me?"

She could feel him stiffen at her words. Gripping her shoulders he pushed her away slightly, just enough that he could peer into her eyes searchingly. He searched for truth. For love. And when he was satisfied that he had seen all that he needed, he bowed his head. "You are all that I desire in this dark universe. If you are correct – if the Reapers only intend to enslave us – I will not let Sovereign have you." He gently rested his forehead against hers, a low purr emanating from deep in his chest.

Saren stood back a bit, taking a brief moment to gaze at her features before removing the metal chain that had hung around his neck. He quickly slipped it over her head and grinned. Glancing down she could see, dangling from the chain, her metal dog tag joined by a turian insignia. His insignia. She peered back up at him, finally able to see the turian she had once known resurface. He was free from Sovereign's control. His hand came up to briefly brush against her cheek, his claws leaving shallow red lines along her pale skin. "The Prothean VI back at Ilos gave me a data file that will override the Citadel's systems and grant us control of the station. You can beat Sovereign. Fight beside me."

The turian nodded and followed her to the consol. Upon reaching it, Shepard connected her omni-tool to the Citadel's control unit and uploaded the file. A confirmation appeared on the screen stating that the transfer and override was successful. She glanced up at Saren and smiled. "Well, that was easy." Her smile faded when she caught the look of regret in his eyes.

"Shepard, I cannot go with you," he told her despondently.

She knit her brows in confusion. "What do you mean you can't? We can beat this."

Saren shook his head on the contrary. "I have been under Sovereign's indoctrination for far too long. Even if we destroy it, my mind will be lost."

Shepard forced a smile to ease his concern. "But you've already won. You're fine." She grabbed his clawed hand, and turned away, intending to lead him back her squad. But he didn't budge. As his hand slipped from hers she stopped dead but didn't turn back to face him. The realization of what he had intended caused her entire world to crash around her, just as it had when she lost Nihlus.

"Thank you, Shepard – for everything."

In the moments that she closed her eyes and reopened them, everything seemed to move in slow motion. She turned, a voice that didn't sound like hers begged him to stop. Her hand reached out for him. But none of it seemed fast enough. Even as his gun went off, he held her in his gaze not losing sight of her until he fell from the platform. His descent was followed by the crash of shattered glass below.

She closed her eyes again in an attempt to keep her knees from buckling out from under her. The room spun and she felt nauseas. She had to take a few minutes to steady her nerves, refusing to lose control of herself again, like she had on Eden Prime. Many lives depended on her strength and resolve now and she couldn't let them down. Turning, she found Garrus and Tali moving toward her and she drew in a breath to stonewall her voice. "Vigil's data file worked. I have control of all systems," she told them flatly.

"Good," Tali sighed in relief. Garrus nodded but remained silent.

Shepard tapped a few controls on her omni-tool to open up the communication channels. Almost instantly, they began receiving feedback from the Destiny Ascension. "—_stiny Ascension. Main drives offline and kinetic barriers down forty percent. The Council is on board. I repeat. The Council is on board_."

"_Normandy to the Citadel. Normandy to the Citadel," _Jokers voice entered through the communication channel. "_Please tell me that's you Commander."_

"I'm here, Joker," Shepard replied.

"_We caught that distress call, Commander. I'm sitting here in the Andura sector with the entire Arcturus fleet. We can save the Ascension. Just unlock the relays around the Citadel and we'll send the cavalry in!"_

"Shepard, you do realize in choosing to save the Council you risk human lives," Garrus finally spoke up. "You'll be throwing your fleet out into the open before they can get an aim on Sovereign."

"This isn't just about humans, Garrus. It's about _all_ galactic life," she reminded him, allowing her focus to stray to where Saren lay. Among the flora below, he appeared rather peaceful. "Joker, I'm opening the relays. Save the Ascension, no matter the cost," she said finally.

"Aye aye, Commander."

Tearing her eyes from the scene below, she hurriedly moved past her team members. "Let's go."

Before they reached the center of the platform's walkway, a loud rumbling sound echoed throughout the Chambers. Shepard halted midstride and peered back at the turian and quarian who appeared just as confused as she. Suddenly, the dais began to quiver, growing into a violent shaking that threatened to toss them to the ground below. Shepard looked from left to right as the piercing sound of live electricity screamed through her ears. Red electrical currents filled the room, striking the space below their feet. The platform under them finally gave way and the team went plummeting down to the glass-littered earth. Her impact with the ground knocked the air from her lungs, but she quickly recovered, raising herself to a kneeling position. She glanced around to find that Garrus and Tali had also survived the fall. Despite the mayhem, it filled her with a sense of relief. That relief was quickly replaced with horror as the source of the chaos came into view. Saren's body had shed its organic exterior, transforming into a mechanical creature that barely resembled the turian it once was. It seemed that Sovereign was certain to make use of his tools, even after death. This… thing was no longer Saren. It had to be destroyed.

"Ready your weapons!" Shepard ordered, pulling out her assault rifle.

"I am Sovereign! And this station… is _mine_," the creature proclaimed menacingly. As it made to charge her, Shepard shot off a few rounds with her assault rifle, causing it to recoil. It's strong and limber mechanical legs launched it from wall to ceiling in barely a heartbeat, shooting with deadly accuracy as it moved. Suddenly it paused, the red glowing eye sockets brightening with intensity. The acknowledgement of its next move hit Shepard almost instantly.

"Take cover!" Shepard shouted.

They ducked behind a pillar just in time to see heavy rounds hit the ground beside them, transforming the grass to a charred dust. When the heavy rounds ceased, followed by lighter rounds, the Commander peered around the pillar. The insides of the machine glowed brightly, seemingly illuminated by a core. Quickly throwing down her assault rifle, she reached for her sniper and zoomed in through the scope. Just as she suspected. Within Saren's body was a core, implanted by Sovereign, which laid dormant until it was needed. The core was efficiently protected behind a synthetic ribcage. It irked her how much of her lover had been altered and replaced by machine, but she quickly suppressed the tormenting thoughts. Now was not the time. She had a plan. Returning her sniper to its resting spot, she prepared to charge out into the open, the faint blue glow of biotics beginning to surge over her body. The glow quickly faded when she felt a warm pressure on her hand. Her attention spun back to find Garrus, grey blue eyes swirling with uncertainty and despair. She gave him an assuring smile. "Trust me," she said, just has she had done before. He nodded, loosening his grip to allow her hand to slip away. And she was gone, charging off to face the enemy head on.

"Sovereign!" Her shout quickly attracted the enemy's attention, its eye sockets ablaze as it stared her down. She stood very still under its anticipated gaze, swallowing any bit of fear that may have threatened to show itself. One false move, even a single nervous twitch, could entice it into ripping her to shreds without as much as a second thought. Her only possibility of surviving this encounter was to prove her usefulness as an ally, or a slave. After considering her human brashness for a few moments, it released fire upon her, likely testing her resolve and skill firsthand. She successfully dodged these rounds and the following, seemingly effortlessly, or so it would appear. It had taken every ounce of her concentration to predict where the shots would land and when.

"Is that all you've got?" she taunted. Its eyes and core flared up as it hunched and charged. _Good_, she thought an instant before its heavy mechanical body slammed into her much softer organic one. She released the air from her lungs just as the collision occurred to suppress the grunt that would normally accompany such an impact. It stared down at her threateningly, its claws digging deep into her armor and through flesh. She didn't flinch.

"There is much potential in you, Shepard. Much strength. Join us. Become the leader of our new order," it beckoned, almost convincingly.

She gazed up into its seething sockets as if considering the offer. "The leader of the new order, huh? Has a bit of a ring to it. Too bad I _hate _politicians," she sneered, a mocking smile crossing over her lips. Suddenly, her hand flashed with a blinding blue light. She thrust it up and under its ribcage, gripping the core tightly within her grasp. The pain was nearly unbearable as it hissed and crackled under her burning flesh, but her smile never faded. "This is for Nihlus," she growled as her biotics flowed forth violently, consuming the red energy source in a blue glow. Time seemed to stop around them as she glared into the now purple-hued sockets. The burning sensation of her hand had numbed to a dull pain. "And _this—_" One final surge from her biotics, and the core burned out. "Is for Saren."

"This being…" it rasped. "Is not the last of us."

"No," she said dangerously. "But it will be the first that dies by my hand." She could almost make out a sense of fear in the machine's expression as she tightened her grip on the core, causing it to crack and shatter in her hand. With the source of its power destroyed, it slumped lifelessly onto her still body. Within moments it disintegrated into ash.

* * *

><p>The Normandy made a final swoop toward the Reaper ship, launching the Javelin torpedoes at its target. They seemed to be enough to push the ship to its limit, its armored hull now thoroughly penetrated.<p>

"Check it out!" Joker shouted at Kaidan who was sitting in the co-pilot's seat.

Kaidan followed the pilot's open-mouthed gaze. The Reaper ship sparked, its power apparently waning. He could visibly see its grip on the Citadel's core loosening and its bulk beginning to sway. The human fleet did not relent, unleashing every bit of fire power onto the enemy and even further damaging the hull. Finally, the dark ship seemed to lose its hold, the weight of it leaning to the less damaged side. Just as its synthetic "legs" lost their final stronghold, the ship burst into a flurry of debris and blaze. It was a sight to behold. The two men turned toward one another, exchanging both proud and congratulatory glances. This battle was won.

* * *

><p>She lay there, among the glass and greenery, staring up at the sky. It was so quiet now, the sound of her breath echoed in her ears. <em>Is it over?<em>

"Shepard!" she heard both Garrus and Tali shout simultaneously.

"I'm fine!" she yelled back, rolling up onto her feet. Just as she stood, a low rumbling began to reverberate through the large space above. Within seconds it had gotten significantly louder and was followed by the ominous sounds of cracks and creaks from the dais above. The last thing she had seen before the darkness, was the fear in Garrus's expression.

* * *

><p>Garrus awoke, surrounded in a reddened haze as dust and smoke swirled around his vision. As his surroundings became gradually clearer, he glanced around finding himself and a crouching Tali surrounded by debris. There was no sign of Shepard. A sick feeling pooled in the pit of his stomach as he remembered what had happened, nearly moments ago. He remembered seeing her, alive and relatively unharmed. Her voice had called out through the space, assuring them that she was okay. Just as the relief had hit him, a feeling of dread had quickly replaced it. He remembered the Tower beginning to shake and rumble, and an ominous shadow looming overhead. It had fallen, much too quickly, and he couldn't get to her in time. And then, all was dark. But he was alive, meaning she had to be as well. He had to find her. Suddenly he could hear a rustling coming from the other side of the debris. A light flashed over his face and he had to squint to see past the blinding beam. "Shepard?"<p>

"Captain Anderson! We found them!" a male voice shouted. Garrus's heart fell. "They're over here!"

The blonde human, flashlight in hand, crawled into the space toward them. He was quickly followed by Captain Anderson, the dark human who Garrus had only met on a few occasions. The Captain quickly knelt beside them his eyes attempting to assess their condition. He noticed the panicked look on Garrus's face and gave him a reassuring smile. "It's over. You're safe now." The man looked around, almost confused by what he saw… or didn't see. His attention went back to the turian and quarian. "Where's the Commander?"

Tali shook her head in dismay, and turned her attention to a large piece of debris that had now overtaken the space where Shepard once stood. Garrus's head shot around to the indicated location and quickly scrambled to his feet. "No… It can't be" he growled. He could feel a comforting hand on his shoulder as Tali appeared beside him. The last think he wanted was to be comforted. He wanted _her_ and he wasn't about to give up. She was alive, and he was going to find her. Pulling away from his friend, he stumbled toward the debris, pain and despair clouding his vision. His body hurt, but it didn't matter. Nothing else mattered.

"Shepard!" he heard Tali cry out. For a few moments he ignored it, the sound fading into the chaos in his mind. But then, when he could finally make sense of it, his head shot up, avian eyes wide and searching. Then he saw her, moving like a shadow through the debris and smoke. He almost couldn't believe it was her. The outcome seemed almost too perfect to be true. It wasn't until he saw the flash of green eyes and the smile on her beautiful human lips that he truly believed it. She was alive.


	20. Sequel Announcement

Greetings readers of Through Fire and Storm! Just a quick announcement that the sequel, **Through Death and Rebirth**, is now published.

Please enjoy!


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